INACTIVE @buckysteeth - Tumblr Blog

Apr 23

Biggest Fears

Summary: After the Wilson BBQ, Sam and Bucky went their separate ways. A few months later, Sam finds Bucky in a troubling situation. Their meet up leads to bigger and better things.

Sam was enjoying a lovely afternoon on the dock. It was a weekday, so Sarah’s kids were in school. And Sarah was hanging around the house. Sam’s mind was elsewhere, though. Ever since Bucky left, Sam’s been feeling a bit sad. Even though everything with the flag smashers was stressful, Sam and Bucky’s relationship really went to new heights. But neither one of them said anything, so Bucky went back home to Brooklyn while Sam stayed in Louisiana. They figured they’d text and keep in contact that way. But neither of them wanted that.

Sam's phone started ringing, as it was an unknown number. He answered it anyway.

“Hello?”

“Hello yes, is this Sam Wilson?”

“Yes it is, who is this?”

“Hello Sam, I am calling from Dr. Fan’s office, do you have a minute?”

“I’m sorry who?” Sam was confused.

“Dr. Fan, we are a dental office here located in New York.”

Sam made a face. “I don’t have a dentist in New York, why are you calling?”

“Do you know a man by the name of James Barnes?”

Oh god, Sam thought.

“He’s stuck in our bathroom and won’t come out. You’re his emergency contact, so we figured we’d try you first.”

“Stuck in your bathroom? What is going on? Is he hurt?” Sam was growing very concerned.

“No he isn’t hurt. We were about to start his appointment when he locked himself in our bathroom and is now refusing to come out. We aren’t sure what to do.”

“Call the police?” Sam offered.

“We don’t do that here. Is there any way you could help?”

Sam brought his fingers to his eyebrows and rubbed them hard. He had no idea what was going on, but it seemed as though Bucky was in trouble. And Sam always came to the rescue.

“Text the address to my phone, I’ll be there in an hour.” Sam hung up the phone. He shook his head, then headed back towards the house. Sarah was on the couch when Sam walked in. Sam immediately went upstairs to his room. He was gonna get suited up and fly to this place, which wouldn’t take that long. It was the quickest way. Sam walked downstairs in full uniform, Sarah giving him a look.

“Quick mission. I’ll be back soon.” Sam told Sarah.

“Be safe!” She called out after him.

Sam stepped outside and headed towards New York City. His new suit had a turbo mode which made him fly even faster than usual. Flying from the south to the east with his suit only took 45 minutes. By the time he landed he was exhausted, but he had more work to do.

Sam double checked the address when he arrived. It was the right one. Sam took a deep breath and headed inside. When he walked in, he saw a small family in the waiting room. The little boy there was staring at Sam. He knew that was Captain America right in front of his eyes. Sam smiled at the kid, then went up to the front desk.

“Hi I’m Sam Wilson, I was called about an hour ago.”

“Sam, we are so glad you are here. He’s been in there for 2 hours now.”

“Did something happen that made him do this?”

“Nothing Mr. Wilson, he sat down for the appointment, then he ran away. That’s it.”

“Okay,” Sam pointed to the bathroom door that the lady was taking Sam to. “He in there?”

She nodded. Sam asked for no one to disturb them. She nodded again.

Sam got to the door and knocked on it. No answer.

“Buck?”

Still no answer.

Sam knocked again. “Bucky, it’s me, Sam.”

A few moments later and a distraught looking Bucky opened up the door.

“Sam,” Bucky started. “What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?” Sam asked.

Bucky looked around behind him, and when he didn’t see anyone he allowed Sam to enter the bathroom. Once Sam was inside, Bucky locked the door again. Sam looked at the door, then at Bucky. Bucky went back into his hiding corner. Basically just the corner of the bathroom where Bucky crouched down and sulked.

“Buck, what’s going on?” Sam asked quietly. But Bucky didn’t answer. His eyes were dark and sunken. Sam’s seen that look in his eyes before, but never this bad. Sam just stared at Bucky, waiting for him to talk. But Bucky stayed crouched down, head down, eyes dark. Sam could sense something was seriously wrong.

“Buck, why don’t we get out of this bathroom.” Sam tried. Even though it was a bathroom in a dentist office, it was still very off putting. Clean, but the aura wasn’t great.

“I’m not getting back in that chair.” Bucky said quietly.

“No chair. Why don’t we get out of this building so we can talk.” Sam kept going.

“I can’t do it Sam.” Bucky said, voice cracking. He started to cry and that’s when Sam KNEW something was deeply wrong. He’s never seen Bucky cry before.

“Buck, you don’t have to do anything. All you have to do right now is leave the building with me.”

Bucky looked up at Sam, eyes drenched. “You promise?”

“I promise.” Sam put his hand out for Bucky to grab. “Let's get out of here.”

Bucky continued staring at Sam. “You’re not gonna make me get back in that chair?”

“No Buck, not a chance. Let’s leave and I’ll fly us out of here.” Sam was being very reassuring.

Bucky slowly began to get up. He took Sam’s hand and stood up. His eyes were still drenched and his cheeks were all wet. Sam took his hand and wiped away Bucky’s tears. Bucky turned red when he did this. Sam grabbed Bucky’s hand and led them out of the office. The family in the waiting area looked dumbfounded as Captain America walked past them holding the Winter Soldier's hand. Even that little boy was gobsmacked.

They got outside the building and Sam let Bucky’s hand go. Bucky looked a mess. But Sam knew what to do.

“My apartment is just down the street.” Bucky said, pointing to the left.

“Let’s go.” Sam said.

“You’re gonna walk around in that?” Bucky was referring to his full Cap outfit.

“Yeah man this is all I brought.”

Bucky made a face but they began walking down the busy streets of Brooklyn. Everyone was staring. Sam even got stopped a few times for pictures and autographs. Bucky was growing irritated. Especially since all of them were handsome looking men. After 15 long minutes, they finally arrived at Bucky’s apartment. It was small, but Bucky made it work. He had no furniture, though. No couch. No tables. He had a tv stand and tv. That was it. There were blankets and a pillow on the ground. Sam figured that that’s where Bucky slept. On the ground.

Sam stood in the living room looking around. He didn’t even have any pictures of anything. It was a very sad apartment. And Bucky wanted to come back to this? It didn’t make sense.

“Want some water?” Bucky asked going into his fridge. His fridge was also empty except for water bottles. He offered one to Sam, but Sam declined.

“Buck, what’s going on?” Sam asked, a bit more stern.

“Nothing is going on.” Bucky replied, going to sit on the pillow and blankets on the floor. He motioned Sam to do the same.

“I can’t sit on the ground in this suit.”

“I have a change of clothes you can borrow.”

Sam realized that he might be here a while. Anytime he tried to have a serious conversation with Bucky, it took hours. Bucky doesn’t open up easily. But with a little time and patience, he does. And Sam knew that this was going to be one of those moments. Sam agreed and Bucky got him a clean pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Sam changed in Bucky’s bathroom, which was also very scarce. He had a comb, a toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant. Nothing else. At least he had toilet paper though. Sam became saddened after seeing how Bucky lives. It’s extremely minimal. He does not have a lot of things.

Sam stepped out of the bathroom with his suit in hand. Bucky gave him a hanger to use, and Sam hung the suit up over the bedroom door. Then he came and joined Bucky on the floor.

“You look good in my clothes.” Bucky said lightly, smiling.

“Thanks.” Sam said, also lightly smiling.

“Sam, I’m so sorry they called you I had no idea they would do that.”

“Buck, I have so many questions.”

Bucky sighed. “I know. And I’m really really sorry.” His voice was low and sad. He also just looked low and sad.

“Well, we’re here now.” Sam said, motioning around the room.

“I didn’t want you to see this place. I’ve been trying to add more stuff but it’s been so hard.”

“I can’t imagine getting a couch through those doors is gonna be easy.” Sam said. But that’s not what Bucky meant.

“I don’t see the point of having furniture right now.” Bucky told Sam.

Sam was confused, but interested. “Why?”

“Who’s gonna sit on it? I prefer the floor anyway.”

Sam made a face. “What if I wanted to come visit you? Where would I sit?”

Bucky laughed. “I don’t think you’d wanna come visit me.” He was laughing but he was serious.

“Buck…”

Bucky lowered his head into his hands. He was deeply conflicted right now. Sam put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

“Sam,” Bucky said, tears in his eyes. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Sam didn’t understand at first what he meant. “Buck you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“Not that Sam. I don’t want to be alive anymore.”

Bucky’s words pierced Sam in the heart. He never expected Bucky to say something like that. Sam moved closer to Bucky, holding him by his arms.

“Buck, look at me.” Bucky didn’t listen until Sam said it again, more stern.

“Look man, I know you are going through a lot. I know you are dealing with a lot. But this stuff isn’t permanent. You won’t feel the way you do forever.”

Even though Sam had a nice sentiment, Bucky was so upset that he wasn’t listening properly. Bucky began to sob while Sam held his arms. Sam then pulled Bucky into him, letting him cry it out. Sam stroked Bucky’s hair and comforted him the best he could. Bucky just cried and cried and cried. Sam had never seen Bucky like this before. But Sam knew how to deal with it, being a former trauma counselor and all.

“Let it out, let it out.” Sam kept repeating. And Bucky did. He hadn’t cried this hard since Wakanda. Bucky’s breathing slowly began to even out as Sam spoke words of affirmation to him. Sam said things that he knew Bucky needed to hear. And it helped slow down his crying. Bucky began to regain himself and his composure, sitting up right, his eyes and face all red. Sam couldn’t help but feel awful for him. And guilty, too. Like he had some part in Bucky’s suffering.

“I’m sorry you had to see me like this.” Bucky finally said when he could speak again. He said it in between sniffles, but Sam understood.

Sam gave Bucky a compassionate look. “I’m not.”

Bucky looked at Sam with confusion. “What?”

“I said I’m not sorry. Seeing you like this only makes me,” Sam stopped. He wasn’t sure how to continue the sentence.

“Makes you what?” Bucky asked, wiping his cheek.

Sam sighed. “It only makes me like you more.”

Bucky was surprised. “Like me? Like, like me like me?”

“We’re not in high school, Buck.” Sam replied.

“Sorry.” Bucky replied to him.

“I’m kidding man. Yes, like you like you. I like you, Buck.”

Bucky needed clarification. “Like me like, you have a crush on me?”

Sam turned red, but he smiled. “Yes, Buck.”

Bucky’s demeanor suddenly changed. He’d been waiting to hear those words for months. And now that Sam has taken the first step, Bucky gave himself permission to open up completely.

“I, like you too Sam.” Bucky said.

Sam smiled. “I know, man.”

“You know?”

“Yes, I know. You’ve been dropping hints since Munich.”

“No I haven’t…” Bucky tried.

“Yes, you have. Did you forget about Madripoor? The night we spent in Sharon’s house?”

Bucky turned red. He knew exactly what Sam was referring to. They shared a bed together but Bucky kept putting his body parts near Sam. Sam noticed and didn’t mind, so he let him. But it was obvious what Bucky was doing.

“Fine. But what about you? I caught you staring at me MULTIPLE times during those missions. And you weren’t looking at my eyes.”

Sam turned red. Bucky was right, Sam had been checking out Bucky for quite some time. He didn’t think Bucky noticed. Apparently he did.

“Okay fine. I was checking you out, sue me.” Sam replied hastily.

“I will not. I’d like you to keep checking me out.”

Sam sighed. This relationship between them was complicated, especially on Sam’s end. Sam had a lot of stuff to deal with now being Captain America. And he had deep feelings for Bucky. Just like Bucky had deep feelings for him. But it was super complicated.

“I’m sorry Buck.” Sam said after a few minutes of silence. “But why are you talking about wanting to die all of a sudden?”

“It’s not really all of a sudden, I’ve felt this way for a long time.”

Sam was saddened by his words. Mostly because he was telling the truth.

“How long?”

Bucky shrugged. “After I fell off the train. They kept me awake for quite some time before brainwashing me. Then I heard of Steve’s “death”, knew no one was coming to save me. I’ve wanted out since then.”

“But what about Wakanda man? I thought they helped you there.”

“They did. They deprogrammed my mind, which I am super grateful for. But the rest of my mind is still in an isolated, locked up cell. Even after I completed that book and gave closure to Mr. Nakajima, I still feel so empty and lost, Sam.”

This was the first Sam was hearing of any of this. Again, Bucky does not open up easily. Getting him to talk about the past is like pulling teeth. It is very difficult. But he seemed to be more comfortable talking about it now, which is good. Maybe Sam could get some answers out of Bucky, to questions he’s had for a while.

“Dr. Raynor didn’t help you at all did she?”

Bucky shook his head. “No. She just yelled at me and made me feel bad all the time. But I didn’t have any other choice but to go.”

“Did you try opening up to her?”

“I tried, but it’s hard to open up to someone who’s very judgmental.”

“Well you’re opening up to me now, am I judgemental?”

Bucky smiled. “No, you’re not. You’re the most understanding person I’ve ever met, Sam.”

Sam smiled. “Thanks.”

“Of course.”

The two sat in silence for a bit. Sam was trying to figure out how to word what he wanted to say.

“Buck, I think that a professional, someone who is understanding and trustworthy like myself, can help you.”

Bucky sighed. “Sam, I don’t want to live here anymore.”

“I know Buck, you said that already.”

“No, I mean in Brooklyn. It’s not the same. I have no one here. This apartment is awful. I don’t want to live here anymore.”

Sam could understand that. Being from the south, the big inner city life never appealed to him. So when Bucky said he was going back to NYC, he accepted it. Given Bucky was born and raised there. Sam always liked the idea of Bucky staying with him in Delacroix. But Sam wasn’t sure Bucky would want that. Seemed a bit overwhelming for him.

“Where do you want to live then, Buck?” Sam carefully asked.

Bucky sighed. He knew the answer to that. “Anywhere with you.”

Sam was taken back. And it said that all over his face.

“I mean, sorry, I didn’t mean that.” Bucky quickly added after seeing Sam’s reaction.

“So you did want to stay, didn’t you?” Sam was having some realizations about things that happened a while ago. His mind went back to a conversation they had after the Wilson BBQ. Sam had asked if Bucky was going to hang around for a bit. Maybe find a place in Louisiana. But Bucky declined and talked about NYC. Turns out Bucky did want to stay, but he didn’t feel like he could. Things were clicking.

“Sam I-“

“I should’ve asked you to stay. I should’ve pushed harder to get you to stay. But you were insisting on leaving so that I didn’t want to overstep.” Sam admitted.

“Yeah, sorry. I did want you to overstep but I also didn’t want to overstep.”

Sam laughed. “Dear god, what is wrong with us?”

Bucky laughed with Sam. They were smiling when they locked eyes. They held their gaze for a few seconds, when Sam leaned forward to kiss Bucky. Bucky was stunned, but not upset. Bucky kissed him back, moving his hands on Sam’s face, really getting into the kiss. Sam’s hands moved down Bucky’s waist, pulling him in tighter. After a few minutes of long, tender kissing, they pulled away together at the same time. Bucky’s eyes were glassed over, like he was drunk. But Bucky couldn’t get drunk, he was just really happy. Sam couldn’t help but chuckle when he saw Bucky like that. Bucky turned red in response.

“Why’d you do that?” Bucky asked.

Sam shrugged. “I really wanted to taste you.”

“Oh is that so?” Bucky joked.

Sam smiled. “Yeah.”

Bucky smiled back as he pulled Sam into him. Bucky was stronger than Sam, so he was able to do it without a fuss. Bucky wrapped his arms around Sam and just held him. Sam leaned into the hug, resting his head on Bucky’s chest. They were both in heaven. They sat there for a while, just enjoying each other's company. The floor wasn’t super comfortable so Sam asked if they could take their cuddles to the bed.

“I haven’t used that bed yet.” Bucky told him.

“Well great, then we’ll break it in!” Sam replied. Bucky turned red at Sam's comment. “Not like that man, get your head out the gutter.” This got a laugh out of Bucky. Neither of them were at a point to have sex yet. Kisses and cuddling it was for now. Bucky pulled out some more blankets from the closet and put them on the bed. He also had a few spare pillows. Bucky made the bed and made it extra comfy for Sam. Bucky didn’t care about comfort, but he did care about Sam. Once the bed was made, Sam sat on the bed and pulled Bucky into him. Sam just hugged his torso tight. Sam didn’t have the serum, but he still was strong. Not as strong as Bucky, though. Still strong! Bucky put his hands around Sam’s head. Sam then surprise pulled Bucky onto the bed when he least expected it. The two laughed together on the bed. Like, guttural laughs. Then Sam started to tickle Bucky, but Bucky isn’t ticklish. So Bucky retaliated and started tickling Sam, who is ticklish. This went on for a bit, the two just laughing so hard together. Sam even started crying he was laughing so hard. Then they both laid on their back next to each other, holding hands. Sam was on Bucky’s right side so he was holding his flesh hand. He wouldn’t have minded if it was the metal one, though.

“You should move in with me.”

Bucky sprung up from the bed to look at Sam. He was trying to gauge if he was lying or not. But Sam doesn’t usually lie, but this offer felt too good to be true.

“Are you serious?”

Sam turned over on his side to look at Bucky. A big smile on his face. Teeth and all.

“I’m serious, Buck. Come move in with us.”

“Sam I, won’t I be infringing on your family?” Bucky was a little panicked.

“No man. Sarah, AJ and Cass all ask about you. Especially the boys. They miss their Uncle Bucky.” Sam said with a smile.

“Really.” Bucky said that like he had no air in his lungs. It came out very hoarse.

“Yes, really. You can sleep with me in my room. I have a king.”

Bucky’s eyes grew wide. “You have a king sized bed? Wait, of course you do. You are the king!”

Sam laughed. “Yeah right, sure. There’s plenty of room in that house. And Sarah could use some help around the house.”

“I’ll do whatever she needs, I’ll remodel the kitchen for you guys like you wanted. I’ll do all the cooking, the cleaning, whatever you need, I-”

“Buck slow down. You’re not going to be our housekeeper. Just help out when it’s needed, that’s all.” Sam said with a smile.

Bucky had this look in his eye. Gratitude. Happy. Excited. Overwhelmed.

“What are you going to tell your family though? Won’t they wonder why we’re sleeping in the same bed?” Bucky had all these concerns about everything. His anxiety spiked.

“I’ll tell them the truth.” Sam replied.

“Which is?”

“That you’re my new boyfriend.” Sam smiled.

“Boyfriend?!”

“Partner? Mistress?”

Bucky laughed hard at the mistress' comment. “Okay okay, yeah. I’m a little worried about what they’re gonna think.”

“Don’t be. My family and everyone in that town are accepting and supportive and loving, no matter what. And they respect me. So they’ll respect you too. Plus they all ask about you man. You were a hit at that BBQ.”

“God that BBQ was fun.” Bucky said smiling.

“I know. So, two proposals. First, will you be my boyfriend?” Sam started.

Bucky’s eyes grew wide. “Wha- right now?”

“Yes right now!”

“Oh god. Oh god Sam what is the world gonna think of us.” Bucky continued spiraling.

“Who gives a shit. I’m a black man in stars and stripes, me being gay should be the least of their concerns.”

“We're gonna be bullied online. Relentlessly.”

“People online that like to bully and talk shit are just insecure assholes who have no life, no friends, no family, no future. You do not need to worry about them.”

“I know but remember what everyone said about Walker….” Bucky tried.

“Walker killed an innocent man in broad daylight. You and I are just two men in love.”

“In love?” Bucky was surprised.

“Oh uh, I mean-” Sam stammered. Bucky loved the sound of it, so he grabbed Sam’s face and kissed him yet again.

“We can be in love.” Bucky smiled. Sam smiled back, but didn’t say anything.

“Second proposal, come live with my family and I in the house. Sarah, Cass and AJ are going to be happy to have you around. They love you just as much.”

Bucky shook his head. “Alright alright I’ll do it.”

Bucky laid back down on the bed, facing towards Sam. They were just smiling and cheesing at each other.

“Real quick though, what was the deal with the dentist earlier today.”

Bucky’s stomach dropped. For some reason this topic was insanely difficult to talk about. But he was in great company.

“It’s a part of my pardon. I’m required to get medical attention every 6 months, along with therapy, so they can check in on me.”

Sam made a face. “What? That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. So they forced you to go to the dentist?”

“They sent me a letter saying I needed to turn in my most recent dental records for their safe keeping or whatever. But Sam, I haven't been to a dentist in 6 years.” Bucky’s voice was sad.

“6 years man, that's a long time, was that when you were in Wakanda?” Sam asked.

Bucky nodded. “After I came out of the ice, they noticed my missing teeth and just other problems that needed fixing. So they fixed it.”

“Missing teeth?” Sam wondered.

Bucky laid back on his back, staring at the ceiling. Sam did the same. But they kept their fingers intertwined. Bucky was mentally preparing himself for this conversation that he did not want to have. But Sam deserved to know.

“HYDRA inflicted several methods of torture on me in the beginning to make me break. This was before they brainwashed me, so I was very much conscious. None of the methods worked though. Until one did.” Bucky’s words felt heavy. Sam knew this was a vulnerable moment for him. So he used his thumb to gently soothe him. It helped a little bit.

Bucky remembered that day like it was yesterday. Beside most of his imprisonment being horrifying, this was extra horrifying. And it traumatized him so bad that it left a lasting imprint on his life. It was before he became brainwashed, as said earlier. They tortured him for days, trying to break him down to get him to do what they wanted. But Bucky was strong. He fought through everything they threw his way. He wasn’t going to break easily. One night, while Bucky was sleeping, they came into his cell and knocked him unconscious. He then woke up on a different chair. A new chair. It had arm rests and leg rests. But he was shackled to the chair. Every part of his body was chained. He couldn’t move. His mouth was also being held open by some metal device he’d never seen before. He couldn’t close his mouth, move, or do anything. Then, a man he’d never seen before appeared before him. The lights above turned on, as they were unbearably bright. Bucky kept his eyes closed because he couldn’t see. His baby blue eyes couldn’t handle the brightness. Then, Bucky felt a pull on his tooth. A back tooth. Top molar. The man started pulling on the tooth, hard. Bucky’s heart rate spiked immediately. He opened his eyes but couldn’t see anything. The man pulled out the tooth, as Bucky began whimpering. It hurt a lot. Even though he had the serum, teeth for some reason weren’t affected. He could feel the tooth being disconnected from the root and pulled out. But Bucky was strong. He wasn’t going to give up. Not yet.

“Another one!” Someone behind him shouted in Russian.

Bucky’s eyes grew wide, as the man began pulling out another tooth. The one directly next to it. Bucky could taste the blood in his mouth from the first tooth. The man pulling his tooth was using some kind of pliers, which latched onto the tooth and pulled them out. Second tooth out, Bucky still whimpering, but not giving up yet.

“Other side!” The same man behind him yelled in Russian.

Bucky was growing faint. Something about pulling teeth raw from his head was making him feel ill. The man then pulled a third tooth from the other side. Still the top row. Bucky began crying as the pain was becoming unbearable. They didn’t give him anything for the pain, so he felt every single thing. Fourth tooth came out and Bucky started screaming and crying and begging and pleading for them to stop. The man with the pliers looked at the man behind Bucky, and the pliers man disappeared. The man from behind Bucky appeared in front of Bucky. It was the colonel. The main guy who’d been inflicting all the torture.

“Done yet?” He said, removing the metal tool from Bucky’s mouth.

“I’m done I’m done I’ll do whatever you want please.” Bucky became desperate at that moment. He couldn’t take the pain in his mouth anymore. The colonel called his guards to take Bucky back to his cell. Bucky was so beaten down and broken that he didn’t fight back like he usually does. He was thrown into his cell, rolling across the cold, hard ground. His mouth bleeding profusely.

“Please, it hurts so bad.” Bucky cried.

“Training begins tomorrow.” One of the guards said, as he closed and locked the door. Bucky spent a miserable night crying on the floor. His mouth was on fire. It hurt so bad. He sobbed for hours on end. Someone came by and pounded on the door demanding he stopped. But he couldn’t, he physically couldn’t. He just had four teeth pulled with no medication, no nothing. He begged over and over and over again for something to ease the pain. One of the guards took pity on him and threw some pain medication into his cell. Didn’t help much that much, but it took off the edge. Next morning, Bucky Barnes would be killed, and the Winter Soldier would be born.

Bucky told Sam this story very slowly, as Sam’s expression was just straight up mortified. Bucky had to pause a couple times to tell it, because it’s one of his worst ones. But he told the story in its entirety. Sam almost wished he didn’t hear it.

“Bucky I am, I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say but I’m sorry. What a horrifying thing to go through.” Sam said with concern laced in his voice.

“It’s by far my worst story, and I wasn’t even the Winter Soldier yet.”

“Oh god Buck,” Sam pulled Bucky into his arms. He rubbed Bucky’s arm over and over again. Bucky began to cry again, but his body was low on tears so not much came out. Sam just held Bucky tight for a long while. Sam has seen a lot of things, but this was by far the worst thing he’d ever heard. And the fact that Bucky remembers it so vividly is also just horrifying. Suddenly Bucky’s reaction earlier to the whole dentist thing made a lot of sense. Sam couldn’t blame him at all. Once Bucky’s crying subsided, Sam had a few questions.

“So wait, what happened in Wakanda then? Did they replace your teeth?”

“Yeah, all four. I forgot what they’re called, but I have four fake teeth in my mouth.”

“Implants.” Sam replied.

“Yes, implants. So all that’s good. I had a few cracked ones too and they fixed all that.”

Sam was impressed. He didn’t know Wakanda did that for him.

“But you haven’t been to the dentist since.” Sam knew the answer but asked anyway.

Bucky shook his head. “No. I’ve been terrified to go. Then I got that letter that said if I didn’t submit my most recent dental records I’d go to jail. Recent as in the last year. So, I tried to go and I couldn’t do it. I hid in the bathroom because I didn’t know what else to do, you came and got me, now we’re cuddling on this bed.”

Sam smiled. “Well, yes that is what happened. What went wrong?”

Bucky took a deep breath in. “I don’t know what happened Sam. I sat in the chair, blacked out, then you were walking me out of the office.”

Bucky’s trauma triggers got so intense sometimes that he’d just black out. And he’d be unable to remember what happened. It didn’t happen often but when it did, it was bad.

“The chair must have triggered you.” Sam told him.

“Most likely. That chair is very similar to the one where I lost my teeth.”

“That’s what did it. The chair.” Sam figured it out right away.

Bucky looked down sad. “So now what?”

“Now, I’m going to have a word with the President and demand they lift this obscene rule off you. I mean, threatening to throw you in jail for not submitting dental work? Nuh uh, not under my watch.”

Bucky smiled at Sam. Sam was being fiercely overprotective over Bucky, and Bucky loved that. He could tell that Sam was going to take care of this for him. Thank god, because he couldn’t do it himself.

“What’re you smiling about?” Sam finally noticed Bucky’s smile. Sam was up in arms about this whole situation. He was pretty heated. Bucky liked that. It was Sam’s way of showing how much he cared, and Bucky knew that.

“You looooove me,” Bucky teased.

“Hey you shut it.” Sam replied, smiling.

Bucky hugged Sam yet again, falling back onto the bed. Bucky tucked his head under Sam’s strong chin. Sam rubbed Bucky’s back lovingly.

“Have you eaten recently?” Sam asked in a low voice.

Bucky shook his head no.

“What’s good around here?”

Bucky thought for a moment. “There’s a really good taco truck around the block.”

Sam smiled. “Wanna go eat?”

Bucky loved food. He was a huge foodie. Of course he wanted to eat. The two got up and made themselves decent to go out in public. They also kept their sunglasses on the whole time as to not draw attention to themselves. Sam didn’t mind getting stopped for pictures and such, but he knew Bucky hated it, so he wanted to avoid it. They walked to the taco truck, ate a few dozen tacos, then came back to Bucky’s place. They were stuffed and feeling good.

“Do you mind if I stay the night? I’m way too tired to fly back home.” Sam politely asked.

“Sure. You can have the bed.” Bucky smiled.

Sam smiled back, as he went to text Sarah what was happening. He didn’t reveal specifics, though. Sam and Bucky were both exhausted after their day and a million tacos, as they both fell asleep almost immediately once getting into the bed. Bucky was spooning Sam when they fell asleep. And they stayed like that most of the night. The morning was going to bring big, big changes.

PART TWO COMING SOON