If it ain't broke...

howdy, howdy ! let's get rowdy !

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If anyone squats down to talk to the e.ngineer they get their nuts kicked and that's that

[shear-in-spuh-rey-shuhn-deactiv]

FRANK TENNEY JOHNSON A Light In The Night Oil on Canvas 20″ x 16″

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@royalmuses​  asked: “I try to stay optimistic… even though, I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky.” - Soldier

   There was a fine line between optimism and gutless foolishness. Right now, if had to guess the Soldier was toeing that fine edge. Oh, he is well aware of the man at work. Seen him thrill in the carnage of the brother’s fake war and now this-- a real war waged by Gray on Teufort must feel something like home.

    Sticky. That was a nicer word for the dire mess they found themselves in. The robots ( clunk, clunk, clunk ) in the distance overpowering by force rather than skill. A rocket explodes too closely overhead, it makes his teeth rattle, singes the air. The Engineer’s spine presses hard into the chipping rock of their makeshift cover so hard he’s sure it’ll snap.

    He’s sure there’s an irony in all of this. Being countered by things made poorly in their own image. Take a peak out and it’s a one way ticket to respawn. No chance to build but to hold their ground and the statically likelihood they can -- not good. He holds Frontier Justice like it’s the last line of defense. And maybe it is but he is far from the last defender.

   The class insignia presses against the Soldier’s. RED and BLU clashing starkly. Shoulder to shoulder with this enemy for now turned ally he wants to see what the Soldier does too -- something sticky instead of deathly. So it’s not with an unkindness he turns to the RED, raises that amicable drawl to something heard above the raging bullet Hell.  “Hell, if ya’ll got any ideas. Now would be a mighty great time.”

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Thinking of making an OC that’s named Mitch Martin and he’s the middlest older brother of S.cout’s siblings. He gives off big Bostonian Mafia vibes and it doesn’t help that he always talks in a mildly threatening way and works late late into the night. They’re pretty sure he murdered someone and play it off as a joke but and dumped them in the docks which he hasn’t denied or confirmed. Baking is his passion and he has a fun flowery apron and took on packing each of the siblings lunch to give their Ma a break. 

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I don’t have time to think of dialogue since it’s busy and lunch but jlkfdsa th ey

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Anonymous said: Bromance is for life bro

“Y'all might as well be my bruh-spband. We’re in this fer the long haul.”

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Dell’s best friend from the oil field as a roughneck and the only person he’s allowed to breach that arms length distance was Vince who unrequitedly pined for him. For all his brains Dell never quite caught on the extent of feelings Vince had for him and did love him but never in the romantic sense. Vince never said anything by way of his feelings for him even until the end when the Engineer ended up pressing a gun up to his head. 

[rpmemes-galore]

John Mulaney Quotes   {Sentence Starters}

“That’s illegal.”

“And that’s my WIFE!”

“This is the height of luxury!”

“Your opinion doesn’t matter.”

“Shut up! You’re all gonna die!“

“Why?…Why do you do this…?“

“I’m new in town and it gets worse.“

“I lived like a goddamn ninja turtle.”

“Oh, we’re gonna freak out so bad.”

“I don’t look older, I just look worse.“

“You know how I’m filled with rage?”

“I need everyone to like me so much!”

“Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.“

“I will pepper in the fact that I am gay.”

“And I said ‘no’… You know, like a liar.”

“Adult life is already so goddamn weird.“

“First off, get out of here with your facts.”

“I think I can get them to budge, let’s go.”

“No! That’s the thing I’m sensitive about!”

“I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.“

“We were little goblins. We were terrible.”

“Now, we don’t have time to unpack all that.“

“Because it’s the one thing you can’t replace.“

“I was just shiny, and dumb, and easy to trick.”

“I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing.“

“You have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair.“

“Brush your teeth, now BOOM, orange juice! That’s life.”

“Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken.”

“ I’m so horny and angry all the time, and I have no outlet.“

“That’s what I thought you’d say, you dumb fucking horse.”

“She’s a dynamite bitch and she’s the best. She’s my hero.“

“In terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”

“Whoa! That tall child looks terrible! Get some rest, tall child!”

“We started chanting, ‘McDonald’s, McDonald’s, McDonald’s!‘“

“I’ll keep all my emotions right here. And then, one day, I’ll die.“

“Then he ordered one black coffee for himself and kept driving.“

“Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die.”

“Just ‘cause you’re accurate does not mean you’re interesting…”

“I look back on being 17 and think, ‘Oh my God, how did I not die?'”

“You are never too young to learn our national ‘no snitching’ policy.“

“You know those days when you’re like ‘this might as well happen’?”

“Something happened here. You hope it’s a miracle, but probably not.“

“Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.“

“And apparently I grabbed it, drank all of it, and said, ‘It’s perfume.’ And it was.“

“I try to stay optimistic… even though, I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky.”

“I never knew relationships were supposed to make you feel better about yourself.“

“It is 100% easier not to do things than to do them, and so much fun not to do them.”

“And everyone else joined in. A hundred drunk, white children yelling ‘fuck da police’!”

“I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.“

“My vibe is like, ‘hey you could probably pour soup in my lap and I’ll apologize to you’.”

“I am very small and I have no money… so, you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.”

“The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.”

“They terrify me to this day because 8th graders will make fun of you but in an accurate way.“

“I quit drinking because I used to drink too much… then I would black out and I would ruin parties.”

“If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.”

“College was like a four-year game show called ‘Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need To Go To Sleep?’“

“Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks, and I will totally kill that guy for you.”

“I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table.“

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isetheby​:

He watches the appliances self destruct in sequence and is glad the kettle was out of range. The scent in the air is acrid, but a step up from burning flesh. One learned to take the small things for what they are

Any sort of half-way prepared breakfast seemed unsalvageable this morning, and he observes the Engineer’s muted reaction with a rare sense of sympathy. Though his own idea of breakfast was usually of even lower effort. A half finished loaf of cold sour dough sat in one of the tallest cupboards, undiscovered still by the more inconsiderate teammates. There were advantages to being tall. Especially when anything in the fridge edged towards free-for-all, unless the individual had run some sort of intimidation beforehand. Even then, he could name a few colleagues whose recklessness edged on death wish levels.

Cecil’s gaze raises from his own mug, impassive as always. The Engineer’s offer seems sociable, and its a bright morning. Besides, the man’s company has almost always been north of tolerable.

He quietly drains the last dregs of his tea. The residue at the bottom sticks to his throat, and he offers gruff agreement.

    The Engineer brightens, smiling into the lip of his jagged mug he meets a steely gaze with one that bore glint of mischievousness hidden behind lenses. Always a catch for these little idyllic mornings. Cecil did give something by way of a yes if he’s reading right. “Yer drivin’.” Ignoring the sour after taste as he drains the last of his coffee to push from his seat the Engineer slips in the phrase with such casual ease like it’s something that’s already been agreed upon. 

    A decent meal, the Sniper’s company, and wheels for the road sounded far more favourable then spending the early morning surrounded by Mann Co. mediocrity. 

    “Best change up or hide that.” He taps at the his own brandished class logo on the sleeve of his issued polo. Probably a matter of time before that would combust too. It’s a throw away reminder born from too many an example of RED again bound to the noose and leaving Miss Pauling left nose deep in paperwork. “Don’t reckon th’ good town folk would recognize their own behind but I ain’t willin’ t’ take th’ chance they do recognize us.” 

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Head jittery too many thoughts everywhere but Engineer in Portal AU being a head engineer that was slapped into an idea core. Less as a construct for G.LADos his role was to talk the engineers through mechanical problems (get Cave J.ohnson that bank) so they could arrive at their own solution in Aperture and make sure they never ran out of good ideas -- look, our humans can do things too! The engineers were pretty fond of the core and his amicable nature and even gave him his own engineering hat. He was demoted to a maintenance bot after realizing that he could make his ideas the scientists ideas if they thought they were theirs through careful guiding. This wouldn’t have been a problem except there was a trend of more test subjects were coming out of chambers alive which is great and all data collection was running slower with people evading bullets. 

He’d be found in the turret manufacture room having friendly conversations with them while they’re on the belt 

[creepish]

:) (threateningly)

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build-em-up​:

Also, since I’m on a gunslinger kick like Pyro always snagging one of his gloves worked in his favour since no one really suspected that there was anything except the usual flesh and blood beneath the glove when it was time to go out on the battlements. He compensated by making a mini-sentry which initially was very underestimated by RED bc it’s baby gun. It forced the E.ngineer to fight more aggressively bc even though he didn’t have a hang motor skills with his right hand yet he made damn well sure he still pull a trigger, he could build sentries just not to the grand extent of his usual chunke lads (and if that isn’t testament enough to how fast he was forcing himself to adapt the gunslinger).

Anyways, no one suspected anything his right fist collided through someone on RED 

Heck it, it’s my city and my rules. The first person the E.ngineer weed whacked with gunslinger REDs M.edic a little ways after the medi-gun had been invented.  They had a brief scuffle where the E.ngineer snapped his bone saw in half with his right hand. More than surprise that the E.ngineer’s fingers hadn’t been chopped chopped was a mad glee of a scientist basking in another’s discovery. Another’s secret. Here was something new and something only the E.ngineer could do.

 There was a brief glint of metal shown in the cut rubber of his glove and maybe in-between the  moments where they both flashed malicious stained grins and the E.ngineer grabbing the Meds throat with his left hand and twisting the gunslinger deep into the M.edic’s gut they really understood each other 

,,Struggled just a little bit getting the husk off but it do be like that sometimes.

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Also, since I’m on a gunslinger kick like Pyro always snagging one of his gloves worked in his favour since no one really suspected that there was anything except the usual flesh and blood beneath the glove when it was time to go out on the battlements. He compensated by making a mini-sentry which initially was very underestimated by RED bc it’s baby gun. It forced the E.ngineer to fight more aggressively bc even though he didn’t have a hang motor skills with his right hand yet he made damn well sure he still pull a trigger, he could build sentries just not to the grand extent of his usual chunke lads (and if that isn’t testament enough to how fast he was forcing himself to adapt the gunslinger).

Anyways, no one suspected anything his right fist collided through someone on RED 

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@isetheby​​ said: I just imagine Cecil seeing him struggle with the gunslinger and giving engie this metal Chunk of a mug that's thicc af janky metal except for a lil hole in the lid like y'know disposable coffee cups Like a hecking Choncc of metal with a hole in it. Looks kinda uggo and got a T shape welded to the side as a handle. Probably found it at the flea market 

Please that’s really cute though like the Engineer thinking that Cecil just straight up gave him garbo for a second before seeing the little hole at the top and it just sends him into a fit of laughter after he gets it’s a cup because all those struggles with the gunslinger are bits that he thought were kept for himself but it’s good to know that someone that’s not going to hold this against him is watching. The uggo mug becomes his default go to mug and goes through the ringer, it gets dented, dropped who tf knows how this janky little thing is in order. 

One day the Engineer just settles right across from Cecil, nothing different from their usual morning routine. Everything from pouring the his coffee to getting the uggo mug is done with his gloved right hand and the Engineer drinks from it np, no trembles from balancing grip strength or anything like that and even though he doesn’t do or say anything that would draw attention to it he’s just grinning into his drink they both know he’s got a hang of the gunslinger. It’s a thicc and ugle mug but it’s favourite mug okay and he’s taking it with him after the gravel wars. 

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The frustration the Engineer felt relearning fine motor controls in his right hand :’) All the times he over estimated or underestimated the strength of the gunslinger after just having it placed when he would drop, crush, an the tiniest movements of picking up something was a struggle to do. How he’d spend early mornings and longer nights practicing every day motions that were hardly given second thought before and would show nothing for those efforts. 

The steep price of having their Medic of all people innervate the thing into his arm and every jagged and fresh scar on his wrist felt and learning that pain can be made into a solid thing. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that this was an upgrade from flesh and blood but like every machine you have to learn how to use it

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E.ngineer vc: y'all'd'nt've'd'd'i'd'nt've'd'y'all't've'd Literally half of the team crying: i don’t know what you’re saying-- 

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👫

Their conversations go by way of either comfortable stretches of quiet where the Engineer will nudge a beer or tea at the Snipers arm and they’ll just drink or have what looks like one way conversations where the Engineer talks and Cecil will occasionally grunt. It took him a little bit but he learned to read the nuances of the grunts like it’s a babbel course  

Information in regards to who they are/were outside of work have been given freely and in natural passing. They both understand the trust that went with giving pieces of themselves but call each other their class titles respectively out of respect 

If Dell hadn’t cut off his own hand himself Cecil would’ve been the first person he would’ve gone to for the chop chop. He trusts that Cecil would’ve saved questions for later and keeps his knives sharp but it was a decision that he needed to commit to himself  

They make a lazy game out of seeing just how far Cecil can shoot something. Sometimes it’s with a sniper rifle sometimes the Engineer will toss him the wrangler and let him have a go. (Also u know they probably mutually mess with their counterpart classes together. Cecil with his dot sight from his scope and the Engineer with his little wrangler laser and they just shine those in their eyes during ceasefire.)