mina

she / her ⋒⋒ 25 love and deepspace 🔞 • MDNI ⭐️ 🍎 🐦‍⬛🐺 • 🐟 ❄️

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₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ masterlist

☆ – drabble , short fics or blurbs ✿ – fic , usually over 500 words

xavier

losing your win streak – fluff, slightly suggestive ☆

feelings – hurt comfort ☆

zayne

and i'll be missing you – fluff 1.2k ✿

rafayel

coming soon

sylus

coming soon

caleb

coming home during your period – comfort ☆ teasing you during a movie – nsfw ☆

[bunbunsoup]

feelings

tags : hurt/comfort, reader is depressed, self doubt and depreciation, gender neutral reader, implied bf xavier (who’s still your neighbor)

hihi trying smth new with a little authors note :3 i’ve been going through it and it took a lot for me to write this… but if you’re reading on a bad day, i’m sending the biggest virtual hug. song rec : feelings by lauv.

everything was spinning.

you were sitting on the sofa, arms wrapped around your chest, body as tight as you could get it. the apartment was too quiet, yet the faint sound of your breath was almost as silent – almost invisible.

invisible... that's how you felt.

it felt like the living room was threatening to cave in on you, plotting revenge for something you couldn't even identify. you couldn't tell why your chest started aching, nor where the storm of unwelcome thoughts blew in from. and despite your better judgement, that fact made it so much worse.

of course 'better judgement' was absent.

with the overwhelming surge of emotions swirling around you, so much that you felt physical pain, you didn't stand a chance. like a phantom, or even your own void, doubt crept upon you, questions that made your head ache, arms tighten around your body as if the darkness would tear out your heart from your very chest, taking more and more out of you...

were you too much? or enough at all…?

the air felt tight around you, disorienting as hot tears brimmed your eyes — so much that you didn’t notice the soft ding coming from the coffee table, nor the little flicker of light that followed.

what if they abandon you like everyone else…

a soft whine tore through you, tears slipping down your cheeks and falling on your sweater.

no, it was xavier’s sweater…

the scent of fresh cleaned clothes, lilac and cotton and a lingering note of his cologne — it almost felt like home, and you were homesick.

“xavier…”

you croaked, his name barely a whisper, throat dried out from sitting in silence for so long. there was no way he could hear you, but it was all you could say.

it was all you could hold onto.

you needed him here. now. and yet you couldn’t find the strength to reach for your phone, to call him, to drag him to your side and let yourself be loved in the way you needed, the way he always could provide.

it was as if the fog was too dense, and the world too dark to see anything in front of you. only the storm, only the agony, the doubts, the fears…

fortunately, xavier has always been your light.

your guiding star, your remedy.

you don’t even notice the knocking at your door, the jingle of the spare keys he had. it was only when his arms encircled yours, the weight of the sofa sinking beside you, forcing you into his embrace like a gentle gust of wind. and buried in his chest, you can hear the soft thump of his heartbeat syncing with yours, whispering against the side of your face, unraveling your demons with each caress, each kiss a promise.

“i’m here, my star… you’re okay.”

divider cr. to @omi-resources

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“xavi… behind! look behind you!”

“where is our dps? wha— why did they go in alone?!”

“xavi… help! help the whole team— no!”

“get to the point, hurry, hurry!”

you let out an exasperated sigh as the large defeat covered the screen, cheeks puffed and pink as the controller was set beside you on the sofa. the pillow on your lap was scooped up into your arms. from the other room behind you where xavier was playing, you could hear soft rustling, gradually getting louder.

and then you felt it, his arms swooping around your shoulders from the back, his soft hum in your ear a second later. “that was a tough one.”

you scowled, turning in the opposite direction as the tips of your ears began to heat up. “tough doesn’t even begin to describe whatever that was…”

xavier chuckled in your ear, planting a kiss just below the lobe before his nose nuzzled into your neck.

“mm… but it was fun.”

a scoff left your lips, but when you tried to face him, his head left you little wiggle room, resorting to resting your cheek against his slightly messy hair. “it’s better when we win…”

"we won five... no, six games before this one."

"exactly! we were on a streak!" you nearly whined, lips pressed out in a pout as xavier tilted his head. you could see his crystal blue eyes staring up at you from the corner of yours, unable to read him – until he let out another soft laugh.

"you were cute though," xavier mumbled, nuzzling into the crook of your neck again, his breath tickling your slightly exposed skin as his fingers tugged the shoulder of your top down just enough. "still are."

"this is not cute... oh," you protested before his soft lips pressed against your skin, parted and planting a slow, meticulous kiss on your shoulder. then another at the base of your neck, and along the edge of your jawline, effortless, distracting.

"what was that love?"

"you're messing with me again."

you could feel xavier grin against your skin, nuzzling below your jaw again, his words a soft mumble.

"mm maybe i am," he lifted his head, leaning over the back of the sofa a little more, seeking your gaze. "but you aren't grumpy anymore"

heat rushed to your cheeks when you realized that his sneaky plan worked and faced away, the pout on your lips earning a soft laugh from him.

"well now i am... at you."

despite his shenanigans, you had to bite your cheek to prevent a smile from creeping on your face, arms crossed over your chest. for a split second, you worry xavier took you seriously - but when his hands slide up your arms, finding your shoulders and giving them a gentle squeeze, you have to fight back your laugh.

“i can handle that,” xavier murmured with surprising softness, planting a kiss atop your head. “how about i make it up to you. we can watch a movie and i’ll grab all the snacks you want, you just relax.”

finally you let it out, hands coming up to rest atop his as he rubbed his thumbs over your shoulders. tilting your head back, you’re greeted with those shiny blue eyes and a smile that’s much too innocent, too sweet for your own good. xavier’s hair dangled as he stared down at you and it was equally as attractive as it was adorable — and you couldn’t help but admire all of it.

“tempting… but you could seal the deal with a kiss.”

you purse your lips, eyes closed in a playful, dramatic manner, anticipating a soft laugh or a teasing remark. instead, his hand escapes your grasp, fingers holding your chin, gentle yet sturdy.

before you could even question him, xavier’s lips met yours with a stolen breath, sinking back into the sofa as your lips danced in harmony, his fingers caressing your face as if something delicate, a flower to bloom.

it felt like an eternity before he let go, his ears flushed as he slid his hands from your hold, the warmth of his touch lingering on your skin. without a word, xavier disappeared behind you, leaving you breathless, pink and warm. and by the time you’ve gathered yourself, he’s already made his way around the sofa, snacks in his arms alongside the big blanket you always shared catching your eyes.

xavier laughs when he spots the sparkle in your eyes, arranging everything in the same way you two always did before turning to you, his arm wrapping around your now blanket clad form. he plants a kiss to your cheek, a gentle smile on his lips as he puts on your favorite movie.

you can feel his gaze on you as the first scene begins to play, fingers finding yours to interlock with yours under the blanket, and his soft words bring a smile to your face — one you couldn’t hide if you wanted to.

“i don’t think we ever lose.”

[bunbunsoup]

and i’ll be missing you

the mission wasn’t long — four days, from tuesday to friday evening. it wasn’t anything new, not for zayne. it wasn’t like he didn’t have his hands full either, with a packed week of appointments, occasional lectures to speak in, and a surgery the night before you came home. as far as he was concerned, time would breeze by and he’d be picking you up again in no time.

except that’s not what happened.

instead, zayne found himself on thursday at a loss, staring at the neat stack of journals and projects he planned to read through on his coffee table, fingers tapping lightly against the pages in his hand.

despite keeping busy, the silence was heady.

every few pages, he found himself glancing at his phone across the table, unable to help perking up when it illuminated only to find it was just another promo text from the cafe between the hospital and your workplace. a smile tugged at his lips as he saw the famous words ‘buy one, get one!’ on the screen, only to gust over with a sigh.

“if only you were here…” zayne murmured, setting his phone beside him to see a mass of white and red fluff tumble to the edge of the sofa. with a swift stretch of his arm, he pulls it back, and when he looks down at it, an undeniable ache tugs at his chest.

the warm snowman you two had snagged from the claw machine the day before you left sat in his hands, his fingers squeezing the wider bottom of the plushie with a chuckle. the sight of your wide, sparkling eyes the moment they landed on the plushie plays in his head, and for a second he can almost feel your hand tugging him along to the machine.

he recalls the words as if it were yesterday.

“we are not leaving without it…”

zayne couldn’t help but laugh at your determined gaze, the way you stood at the machine, hands on either side of the controls, focus solely locked onto that snowman plushie.

“what’s particularly special about this one?”

in the reflection of the glass, your gaze softened, lips curving into a pout almost immediately as if he had offended you in the highest regard. when you turned your head, he couldn’t help the heat that started to sneak onto his cheeks, reaching the tips of his ears.

“it’s me… and my happy snowman is you.”

zayne gave the snowman plush in his hands another soft squeeze, a smile playing on his lips as he sat up and near the edge of the sofa again.

“i guess this counts,” he said, almost a whisper as if someone would hear him in the privacy of his home. “but i don’t think you’d be good to take to the cafe…”

another sigh.

with a swift motion, zayne rose from the sofa with the warm snowman in hand, setting it down at your spot on the counter. without skipping a beat, he made his way to the refrigerator, taking out leftovers from the night, lingering on the tray of eggs before he brought them out too.

while his leftover honey and herb chicken reheated in the microwave, he rummaged through the pantry to find the remaining ingredients, everything he needed to make brownies — the ones you practically begged for on his days off and his favorite for that reason.

between eating dinner and meticulously adding the ingredients in a bowl, zayne couldn’t help but steal glances at the plushie at the corner of the counter. if you were here, you definitely wouldn’t be this quiet, he thought, a soft laugh leaving his lips as he poured the mix into a baking dish, turning around to set it in the oven. without a second thought, he brought the rest of his dinner to his seat beside warm snowman, eating in a strangely comfortable silence while the oven clock counted down.

by the time zayne finished and cleaned up the dishes, the soft ring brought his attention back to the sweets in the oven. with care he brought them out, the warm, comforting aroma of the brownies washing over him, his shoulders easing from the tension he didn’t even notice until now.

that and a weight of fatigue, from the week of work or the slightest ache that lingered the more he thought about — no, the more he missed you. undoubtedly a bit of both, but if he had to be honest, the latter most.

as zayne covered the brownies, loose enough to let them cool properly, he stifled a yawn, cleaning up a few scattered crumbs on the counter before taking the warm snowman in his arm.

“i’ll check on that later, but you’re coming with me…”

he brought the plushie with him as he made his way to the bedroom, the night setting a cozy mood that made his eyelids heavier upon entering. setting the snowman plushie down, he found himself mumbling as he walked into the closet, already prying away at his clothing in exchange for pajamas.

“i’ll be right back love…”

zayne let out a soft hum, a hand running through his hair as he stepped into the bathroom, reaching for his toothbrush in the spot by yours. brushing with swift, intentional motions, he wasted no time freshening up before sitting on the bed, the plushie tumbling to his side as if eager to be close to him just like you would.

“mm… just like your mom,” he chuckled, taking the warm snowman in his hands again before his eyes landed on the clock — only 7:30 pm. pulling himself to his feet again, zayne went back to the living room and plopped down on the sofa, the plushie still in his embrace as he turned a random show on.

for a moment, he couldn’t help but feel a little silly taking the snowman plush around with him. yet as silly as it felt, zayne couldn’t deny that it made his heart warm, almost as if you were back in his arms, snuggling up beside him as the show faded in the background… slipping into slumber…

hours later, you slowly pried the door to zayne’s place open, lip between your teeth as you tried to withhold a smile, anticipating the surprise on his face when he saw you. what you didn’t expect was to find him out on the sofa, a random show playing on the television.

and when you slip off your shoes and tiptoe to his side, you certainly weren’t expecting to see the warm snowman you had won wrapped up in his arms, tight against his chest, the companion to the one you had brought on your mission. it was then that you realized what had unfolded, the plushie and the unforgettable scent of zayne’s special brownies putting the biggest smile on your face — he missed you this bad.

reaching forward, you graze the back of your fingers along his cheek, down his jawline and zayne stirs, his hold tightening on the plushie. your heart swells with a familiar feeling, and without a moments hesitation, you gently wrap your arms around his shoulders, lips beside his ear, lulling your sleeping snowman awake.

“i’m here now zaynie… let’s go to bed…”

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caleb sliding two fingers past your lips as you squirm in his lap, the light press against your tongue enough to make your head spin. his other rests on the plush of your inner thigh, arm around your waist as his nails trace shapes over the sensitive skin. each shift, each whimper vibrating against his fingers urges him low, lower to the hem of your pajama shorts, the pads of his fingers wandering oh-so casually inward.

“mmh… caleb…”

you pant, muffled against him still, thighs trembling as two fingers graze over the thin fabric between he and your throbbing heat. caleb doesn’t respond, not verbally. instead he chuckles, dipping to plant a kiss to your temple while his fingers rub you through your shorts, slow and torturous, tearing a gasp from you.

“caleb…”

you whimper, shifting in his lap against the firmness beneath you as you push forward, your body acting on its own accord. you hear his breath hitch, his body tense, and then he finally whispers in your ear.

“don’t tell me you can’t take it, pipsqueak…”

his fingers begin to do their magic, rubbing in the way he knows drives you wild, pulling those soft moans he loved so much out so beautifully. and you don’t pull him away — you never do, you’d never want to.

instead you accepted it eagerly, his touch, his tease, his love even as he brought you dancing on the edge only to leave you whining for more. even as his fingers slipped beneath the soft fabric of your shorts, dipping into your warmth while he left hot, soft kisses on your neck and shoulders. even as caleb whispered praises, as his words drip with faux innocence, as he made the world around you spin in a way only he could do.

you craved it.. you craved him.

and the blanket draped around you both was long discarded to the edge of the sofa as caleb overtook you, the movie lost in the background, only drowned out by heavy breaths and skin as your bodies became one, an intense longing only fulfilled by one another.

[bunbunsoup]

imagine caleb coming home from work to find you in the middle of a period-induced meltdown. the second he hears the faint sound of crying, he tosses his coat over the sofa back and drops everything to find you. when he finally does, seated on the bed and clinging to his pillow, he doesn’t waste a second going to your side, embracing you in a snug hug without hesitation. when your arms loop around him, caleb doesn’t ask anything of you, instead pressing his lips to the side of your head, caressing your aching body, fingertips pressing gently against the spots he knows need it.

only the sound of your beating hearts and his gentle whispers linger, his words blowing away the dense fog of emotions running in your head.

“shh… it’s okay… i’m here…”

“just hold me and let it all out…”

“don’t worry, i’m not going anywhere...”