What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didnāt realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like
āDude, you havenāt gone outside in a while.ā āYeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.ā
āAre you still up?ā āYeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix.ā
āDude, Iām seriously craving something right now.ā āLike what?ā āI dunno. Pizza rolls?ā
āWhy is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?ā āUm, itās calledĀ ābeing politeāā¦?ā
āI tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think Iām allergic, but all Iām getting on Google is vampire bullshit.ā
āDude can a mirror like⦠stop working or something?ā
āDude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?ā āā¦Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken.ā
āDude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when Iām around? It really bugs me for some reason.ā
āHave you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man.ā
āI want to sleep in a coffinā¦ya kno, for like⦠aestheticā
āWhatās with your thing about necks lately?ā
āMUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOMEā
āI looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer.ā



















