fangirl writes @buriednurbckyrd - Tumblr Blog

After months and months of absolutely zero inspiration or motivation to write I'm 1000 words into a subby Astarion fic.

I hope y'all wanna read this and give it some love when I finish and post because it feels really good to finally have something written 😭

#bg3 #astarion #fanfic #writers block

rrinnna

the realization this brought me made me cry actual tears.. [not mine]

trashcora

75th Primetime Emmy Awards (January 15, 2024)

Nothing Stays the Same Forever: Chapter 5

It was difficult to walk to work the next day. She wondered every time anyone glanced at her if they had been at the bar the previous night. Logically, she knew that no one was paying any attention to her. She didn’t have much of a relationship with most of the Jackson residents so they probably just knew her in passing. But she still felt vulnerable and exposed, and by the time she made it to her quiet little work room she was overwhelmed with the wish that she had just stayed home. Still, now she was there, she had made it. With a sigh, she began to set up for her day.

There were a few bags to be looked through that a group had brought back from a scavenging expedition. She busied herself going through the clothing; sorting what could be washed and used right away, what needed patching or repair, and what was only good for scraps or rags. It was all in good condition, including several pairs of mens jeans that still had store tags on them. It was a great find, they rarely came across anything that was still “new” after twenty years of post apocalyptic living.

After taking everything to the laundry and starting a few loads in the washers she was startled when she ran, quite literally, into Ellie who was coming out of her work room as she was going back in.

“I’m so sorry!” She said, when she realized what had just happened.

“S’no worry,” the girl said. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Were you looking for me?” Y/N asked, gesturing at the doorway. Ellie nodded and followed her inside.

“Wanted to make sure you were okay.” The girl stuck her hands in her pockets and scuffed her boots against the floor. “Heard people talkin’.” Y/N felt her heart drop into her stomach. She sat down and scrubbed her hands over her face.

“I was afraid of that. Word spreads fast I guess.”

“It’s mostly about Joel.” Ellie told her. “Some of the kids at school heard he killed a guy.”

“What?” Y/N’s head snapped up in shock.

“Of course he didn’t,” she rolled her eyes. “Tommy told me what really happened. Didn’t want to, but he did anyway. Joel just broke the guy's arm, but people are idiots.” Y/N’s breath caught in her throat. He broke his arm? Ellie must have seen her confused expression. “Oh, I guess you didn’t know that.” She shook her head.

“I didn’t. I left pretty quickly.” Ellie hopped up to sit on the work table, nudging Y/N’s knee with the toe of her boot.

“But you know why Joel got so mad. Tommy wouldn’t tell me but he let it slip you were there with him.”

“Please, Ellie. I really don’t want to talk about it.” Just thinking about last night had tears prickling at the back of her eyes.

“Well… The thing is,” Ellie began, sounding uncomfortable. “It’s my fault.”

“Huh? You weren’t there, of course it’s not.” The girl chewed at her thumb nail.

“I cut the lining in Joel’s coat. So he would have to come see you.” More confusion

rolled around in her head. She thought back to the jacket, and how the seam had looked like it had been cut, instead of ripped like most of the repair jobs she received.

“Why?”

“Because he looks at you, watches for you. And he listens when Maria or Tommy talk about you like he’s interested. He pretends he isn’t but he is.” Y/N didn’t know how to respond, too many thoughts happening all at once.

“It still isn’t your fault, sweetheart.” She finally said. “You didn’t make anyone say those horrible things to me.”

“Ah-HA!” Ellie jumped down. “I knew it was something about you! See? Joel likes you and he like, defended your honor. Like those dudes in your books. But you got hurt and if I hadn’t ripped his stupid coat you wouldn’t have.” Her fists clenched at her sides.

“Ellie, sweetie,” she sighed. “It would have happened sooner or later. It’s something I’ve dealt with my whole life. Maybe I thought Jackson would be a different kind of place, but the fact is there are folks that are gonna be nasty no matter where I go.” She took one of Ellie’s hands into her own and loosened the girl’s fingers. “You don’t need to carry that on your shoulders.”

“I heard Tommy tell Maria you looked so sad and hurt. I would have broken more than that guy’s arm.” For the first time since the whole ugly incident, Y/N laughed.

“You know I really like you, kid.”

“You don’t hate me?”

“Nah. Can’t hate someone when they wanna break bones because some dumb guy was mean to you.” Ellie’s face broke into a lopsided smirk.

“Does that mean you like Joel?” Busted.

“You’re really sneaky.” Ellie just shrugged and smirked more. “I guess it does. Is that okay with you?” Another shrug.

“I mean, he’s grumpy as fuck and kinda old but I’m not stoppin’ ya.” Y/N laughed again, and gave Ellie’s hand a gentle squeeze.

…

She ended up working until all of the found clothing was washed, sorted, labeled, and stored. Ellie had left her with a tangled web of thoughts, doubts, and confusion. What did she mean that he looked at her? Joel was nearly always on high alert, he watched everyone. She couldn’t help but wonder if the teenager was setting her up, and the intrusive thoughts shamed her. Ellie was rough around the edges, but she wasn’t malicious. Still lost in her own swirling mind, she tidied up and left.

The days were growing longer as spring edged winter out of Wyoming but it was still mostly dark for her walk home. The dining hall was still crowded with people, so despite the hunger rumbling in her belly she decided against going there for dinner. What if the man from last night was there? She couldn’t stand the idea of running into him. She was sure she had some bread and cheese left in her kitchen so turning away from the busy town center she started her commute back home.

It was quiet on the street. Some of the homes had lights on but they were mostly dark and silent. She stopped in the road for a moment and looked up into the clear evening sky, the moon was only a sliver, but the stars were endless, and would only grow brighter as darkness fell more completely. Something about the sight relaxed her, and she felt most of the tension of the last twenty four hours drop away. Jackson was different, it wasn’t just like every other place in her life. It wasn’t a cutthroat city, moving so fast you couldn’t stop even for a moment to take a breath. It wasn’t a rapidly crumbling world, dissolving into disease and war. It definitely wasn’t the QZ, full of men abusing their positions of power. Jackson wasn’t perfect, but it was somewhere she was safe enough to pause and look up at the night sky to drink in its beauty.

“‘Evening.” Joel’s low voice called out from his porch. She turned from the stars and smiled at him, leaning against a post and looking every bit the rugged cowboy from a story.

“Hi.” She noticed he was by himself. “Ellie out with her friends?”

“Movie night.” For some reason his brief answers charmed her. She really did like the man.

“She came by to visit today.” Y/N took a few steps towards him.

“Yeah?” She nodded.

“Had some interesting things to tell me.”

“Did she?”

“Mmm-hmm. Apparently that asshole left the bar with a broken arm.” Joel’s stance went from relaxed to arms crossed across his broad chest.

“Told you. He got what he deserved.” She stopped at the porch step, and tipped her head back to look up at him.

“You know…no one’s ever stood up for me before. I mean, I did my best before the world went to shit, but people like that…they like it when you react. They want to see you get upset, so they know they have some kind of power over you.”

“People like that are weak.” His voice was hard. “Gonna give me a hard time for bustin’ that guy’s arm?” He looked ready for an argument.

“No.” Joel hadn’t expected that response.

“Hmm.”

“I don’t usually like violence, I’ve seen enough of it the last twenty years. But I do like

you, Joel.” The look in her eyes hit him hard and almost knocked him back on his heels. “Ellie seems to think you like me too.” She watched the muscle in his jaw tick.

“She tell you that?”

“Well, she says you look at me.”

“You’re friends with my brother and his wife, you’re around. Be rude to not look at you.”

“So you asked me for a drink to be polite.” He grunted.

“Not what I said.”

“What are you saying, Joel?”

“Why do you keep sayin’ my name like that?” She put one foot up on the step.

“Like what, Joel?” He gripped her arm and hauled her up to his level, but then seemed to regret the action and let her go like she had burned him.

“I didn’t mean to…Sorry.” He took a step backwards.

“Joel.” She reached out and touched his wrist. “You don’t frighten me.”

“I should.” He looked at her with blazing eyes. “You don’t know what I’ve done.” She nodded in agreement.

“You’re right, I don’t. But you don’t know what I’ve done either, what I’ve had to do to survive.” Her right hand clenched and relaxed a few times at her side. “I’m not here to ask you about what you had to do, and I’m sure as hell not ready to tell you everything about my past either.”

“Then what are you here for?”

“Just you.” She looked down, suddenly shy. “If you want me to be here, anyway.” He lifted her chin with his finger.

“I hate to prove that girl right,” he said quietly. “But I do.” Y/N couldn’t help the nervous giggle that bubbled up in her throat.

“Well here I am.” Joel nodded and drew her closer.

“You really are breathtaking, sweetheart.”

“I want to believe that,” she murmured. “I’m trying to.” She could see him looking at her lips, his tongue flashed out and wet his own. “Please, Joel.” Her whispered plea broke him and he pressed his mouth softly against hers. She clung to him like a burr, and for a brief moment he felt like a young man again, like they were just two ordinary people sharing a sweet first kiss on a spring evening. It scared him, but the fear couldn’t overpower his desire to sink further into her embrace. Something about this timid woman had wrapped around his heart and he didn’t want to try and unravel it. After all he’d been through, maybe it was time he let himself finally try to find a little peace. He gently pulled away and stroked his thumb over her neck where his hand had come to rest.

“Would you like to come in?” He asked her. She smiled at him with a dreamy look in her eyes.

“I’d like to say yes…”

“But?” He braced himself for rejection. She cupped his cheek.

“I’ve never…done this before.” She felt her face heat up with embarrassment when she

saw the meaning of her words sink in. “I need a little time.” He looked lost, like for the first time in a long time he couldn’t pretend he knew exactly what to do. Y/N tugged him back down and kissed him again. “Ask me again. Maybe tomorrow.” Joel’s lips quirked up in a half smile.

“I can do that.”

#joel miller x reader #plus sized reader #joel miller x plus size reader #joel x reader #pedro pascal fandom #tlou fanfiction #soft!joel miller

manny-jacinto

Pedro Pascal Talks ‘The Last of Us’ and Stealing Baby Yoda | Explain This | Esquire

Nothing Stays the Same Forever: Chapter 4

fContent Warning: fat/body shaming. Joel and Tommy aren’t having any of it, but proceed with some caution it is pretty mean. Also, Joel might be a wee bit ooc but I can’t help it. I’m weak thinking about that gruff man being soft and sweet.

It had been about two weeks since he had last seen her. According to Ellie she had been by the house a few times to visit. He wanted to tell the girl not to wear out her welcome, but it sounded like Y/N was happy to sit and listen to whatever the teenager had to say. And Joel knew she had a lot to say. So he figured that if it got to be too much Y/N would nudge her along. It did make him happy to see Ellie had a woman she trusted, though he kept that thought to himself. Not that she didn’t have a good relationship with Maria, but it was different.

He might have gone longer, until the next “family” dinner, but that morning he realized there was a large tear in his most worn jacket. The lining flapped open exposing the fibrous filling, and for the life of him he couldn’t remember when or how it happened. He asked Ellie and the teen had just shrugged and said something sarcastic before going off with a group of kids. So after helping out with some of the livestock he cleaned up and headed over to the building Tommy told him Y/N worked out of.

He heard the sewing machine going when he stepped through the doorway, and she was hunched over, all her focus on the stitches. An old tape deck played what he thought was an old Patsy Cline ballad from a corner. There were neat stacks of clothing on shelves and boxes labeled ‘scraps’. He didn’t want to startle her so he waited patiently until the machine stopped and she pulled her project away, neatly snipping a thread. She held it up and he saw it was a sweet little quilt, the squares sewn into a heart pattern. He tapped his knuckles on the door frame to get her attention and she turned sharply, her expression wide eyed. When she realized it was only him she relaxed a fraction.

“Oh, hello Joel. I was a little worried you were Maria or Tommy. This is a surprise for them.” She gently set the material aside. “Is there something I can help you with?” He nodded and walked over to hand her his jacket.

“I saw this big rip this morning.” She took the garment from him to examine, a little furrow between her brows.

“Huh, it almost looks like the seam was cut. Maybe the thread came loose and you snagged it on something.” She looked up with a soft smile. “It’s a quick and simple fix.”

“I can wait.” He said. Y/N blinked a few times and her hands fumbled a bit.

“That’s fine,” she finally replied. “There’s um, an extra chair right there.” She got up to look through her supply of thread to see if she could match the original color. “This isn’t an exact match, but it should blend in and it won’t be noticeable.” She heard the chair scrape across the floor.

“That’s fine. As long as it’s fixed.” She was a bit surprised when she turned back to see he had moved the chair to sit more or less directly across from her at her work table. Refusing to let him see that she was even a little bit rattled she quickly regained her composure and sat back down. He carefully pulled the little quilt closer to him so he could look at the pattern. Watching his dark eyes take in the details of something she had worked so hard on was nerve wracking. He traced his calloused fingertips over the heart that made up the center of the blanket.

“It’s for the baby.” She told him in a quiet voice. “I have a little teddy bear at home too. Tommy came back from patrol one morning with his flannel all torn up after he stumbled into a pricker bush. I salvaged enough to use so the baby has something made at least partly from something that belonged to their daddy.”

“Very thoughtful of you.” He told her. “This looks nice.” He tapped the unfinished quilt. She ducked her head, but he saw the pleased grin on her face.

“It’s not much, but sometimes I have a lot of down time. I never made many blankets or quilts before…well, just before. But I hate to see anything go to waste so I try to recycle any ruined clothing and stuff and turn it back into something useful.”

“Gets cold.” Joel wanted to smack himself for his stilted small talk but she didn’t seem to mind.

“It’s nice to give people something new, even if it’s made up of old parts. There isn’t much that exists anymore that didn’t belong to a whole lot of other people first.” He followed her nimble fingers with his eyes, watching her quickly and carefully stitch the lining back together. Every once in a while she would pause and coax the fiber fill back in. All too soon, she was finished, and if Joel hadn’t seen the damage himself it would have been impossible to tell that it had ripped at all in the first place.

“You do good work.” He said after inspecting it.

“It ripped along a seam, really no trouble.” She looked down and away again and he frowned.

“Don’t sell yourself short. I don’t see anyone else in here doing the work.” She shook her head.

“There’s lots of people in Jackson doing a lot more than I can.” She wrung her hands together. “Keeping us all safe, hunting for food…I’m just here with my needle and thread.”

“I hunt. I patrol. I definitely can’t pick up a needle and thread and do this,” he held up his jacket. “Or take scraps of fabric and turn it into that.” He gestured at the baby quilt. “Jackson doesn’t only need hunters and guards. It needs people like you that keep us all clothed. That are thoughtful enough to make a blanket and teddy bear for a friend’s baby. Or a quilt to keep someone warm at night.”

“That’s kind of you to say, thank you.” She replied after a few moments.

“Thank you for the repair job.” He said, putting the jacket on. “Seems it’s about quittin’ time, buy you a drink?” The invitation surprised him as much as it did Y/N.

“Oh, that’s not necessary…” She began.

“Maybe not. Still offerin’.” He could see the struggle in her face, and he wondered why he wanted her to accept so badly.

“Well, okay. Thanks, that sounds nice.” She finally answered. “Just um, let me tidy up everything real quick.” She hoped that setting her work space back to a clean slate would calm her frazzled nerves but she was no calmer when she finished putting things away. She carefully folded the tiny quilt and tucked it into a box with spools of thread. Taking a moment to press a hand to her chest to soothe her thumping heart, she steeled herself and turned to leave with Joel.

…

She hadn’t stepped foot into The Tipsy Bison before then. Alcohol tended to erode away people’s filters, and in Y/N’s experience that led to her needing to dodge insults and cruel critiques. But Joel’s presence gave her a slight feeling of security. He wasn’t the type of person people went after, he was the type of person that cleared a pathway through a crowd with an air of intimidation. He was however, still a southern gentleman at his core and pulled out a bar stool for her. She awkwardly climbed and slid onto the seat. Joel sat next to her, his arm nearly touching hers. It made the side of her body closest to him tingle just from his proximity. She was happy to see Tommy behind the bar. Seeing another familiar face was comforting in a place where she was more or less completely out of her element.

“What can I get you two?” He asked them with an open smile.

“Usual.” Joel grunted. Y/N hesitated.

“I’m not much of a drinker…”

“How about a glass of mead?” Tommy suggested, pouring whiskey into a glass for his brother. “They use honey from our own hives to make it.”

“Sounds good, I’ll give it a try.”

“Didn’t know people still made mead,” Joel said. “Guess when the world ends you figure out how to keep getting drunk.” He took a sip from his glass, savoring the smokey flavor of the whiskey.

“Guess so.” Y/N replied. He sensed her tense up beside him when a few men wandered up to the bar. Tommy set a glass of golden liquid in front of her and turned his attention to the new arrivals. She was silent, her left hand clenched so tightly her knuckles turned white, but she took a sip. “Pretty good.” She muttered. Joel turned his head when a table across the room erupted into raucous laughter leaving his bad ear facing her. So he didn’t hear what was said that had Tommy furious and yelling; and Y/N looking like she had been slapped.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Tommy demanded, pulling the drink he was about to serve back from a man with a smug grin on his face.

“I’m sorry, I just haven’t seen a land whale since the world ended. Figured with it being the fucking apocalypse they would have all gone extinct with nothing to eat.” His buddy beside him laughed.

“Didn’t know Jackson let bloaters move in.” Joel’s vision went red and hot with anger and he suddenly found himself with his hand wrapped around the first man’s throat.

“Excuse me?” He hissed through gritted teeth. Tommy started to make his way around the bar. “The fuck did you say?” The man swallowed nervously but refused to back down even in his precarious position.

“Hey man, I get it. Chubby chasing was fun back in the day, but she’ll eat you out of house and home before the novelty wears off.” Joel’s fingers constricted and the man’s face started turning red.

“Joel, Joel!” Tommy gripped his forearm and tugged. “Let ‘im go. He’s not worth it.”

“Imagine getting so worked up over the little piggy that went to market.” The buddy laughed, the sound sharp and cruel. Joel threw the first man aside. He hit an empty table hard, landing on the bar floor. He pushed past Tommy and caught the other man by the shirt and watched his expression turn downright afraid with a decent amount of satisfaction.

“If either of you ever dares to even breathe in her vicinity I will break all the bones in your hands. If she offends you so much, don’t fucking look at her.” He shoved the man away and shook his head, looking around to see where Y/N had gone.

“Guess the fat bitch has a guard dog.” The first man muttered as he picked himself up.

“Joel…” Tommy started, reaching out to try and hold his brother back. But the older man was far quicker and the sound of snapping bone reached his ears before he could pull Joel away. The man let out a shrill scream and fell back clutching his arm.

“You broke my fucking wrist!” He shrieked, and Tommy saw his hand hanging at an unnatural angle.

“You’re lucky he didn’t break more than that,” Tommy sighed and signaled for some of the other residents to come pick the man up. “Take him to get patched up.” He told them. He knew the headache wasn’t over, but he couldn’t honestly fault his brother for his reaction. Joel’s chest was heaving, the fury beginning to leave him. He turned a few times, looking for Y/N. “She left, Joel.” His brother shoved past him, the door slamming closed behind him. He let out another sigh and got to doing his best at damage control.

She was nowhere to be seen in the town but he figured she would most likely head to her home, her safe place. His pulse rushed in his ears, the adrenaline of anger still pulsing through his veins. It shouldn’t have shocked him, to see that people still had the capability to be so vicious to a person that had never harmed them or anyone else. His only worry right then was that he had frightened her, but in the moment he couldn’t help the violent rage that had bloomed in his chest. Y/N was one of the kindest people he had ever met, even before cordyceps had plummeted the world into chaos and catastrophe.

The further he walked with no sign of her the more frantic he found himself getting. He broke into a quick jog, not stopping until he was on her porch and banging on her door. He continued until it was wrenched open and his heart twisted to see her tear stained face.

“What is it, Joel? I’ve had enough of this night.”

“I wanted to see if you were okay,” he said, out of breath. “But I guess that’s pretty foolish, you clearly aren’t.”

“I’m fine.” Her voice was tight, she was trying not to start crying again. “I’m used to it. Everyone always has something to say about my body, how I look. The end of the fucking world didn’t change that.” She turned and stomped further into her house, leaving Joel to follow.

“Those things they said, they’re fucking idiots.”

“You think saying that changes anything?” She cried. “I’m the fucking idiot, Joel! I

always think it’s gonna be different, that I’ll find some place that just lets me exist in goddamn peace but I’ve finally learned I’m never going to. But at least here I won’t be turned into a fungus zombie or be forced to-” She broke off and looked up at him, shocked at what she was about to say out loud. He took a step towards her.

“Forced to what?” He said quietly, his soft tone dangerous. She shook her head violently and her face crumpled, fresh tears spilling from her eyes. “Shh, it’s okay, darlin’ you don’t need to talk about it.” He stepped closer, and laid his hand on her shoulder. “Come on, now, you don’t need to cry.” Tears had always been his weakness. Moving slowly so he didn’t upset her more, he gently pulled her closer, holding Y/N’s trembling form. She gripped at his shirt like it was a life line. “Let it out, it’s gonna be alright.” He tried to soothe her as she cried herself out. When she quieted back down he took her chin between his thumb and forefinger, tipping her face back. The pure misery in her eyes was like a gut punch. “You didn’t deserve that tonight, and you didn’t deserve all that shit in the past either.” Her eyes closed and another tear slipped down her cheek.

“I’m so tired.” She whispered. Joel wiped the tear away with his thumb.

“You’re so beautiful.” He murmured, taking them both by surprise. Y/N’s eyes opened again in shock. “I wish you could see it.”

“Don’t.” He could feel her trying to pull away from him.

“I don’t say things I don’t mean, Y/N.” He cupped her cheek. The way she looked at him with her big, sad eyes had his stomach twisting in knots. “Prettiest lady in this whole damn place.” She closed her fingers around his wrist, her fingers sliding across his pulse point made his knees feel weak.

“You’re just trying to make me feel better.”

“I’m not a particularly nice man.”

“No, you’re not.” She dropped her arms. “But you aren’t mean.” Joel chuckled lightly with a sort of grim smile.

“I can be, but not to folks that don’t deserve it.” When her bottom lip trembled again he soothed his thumb over it. “And you don’t deserve mean from anybody.” The gentle kiss he pressed to her forehead made her heart ache. “You go on and mop yourself up and get some sleep, Y/N. If you need anything you know where I am.” She nodded, looking mildly dazed. He turned to leave.

“Joel? I heard some commotion before I got too far away.” He made a sound of affirmation. “Did you fight that man?” He paused in the doorway.

“Wasn’t nothing he didn’t deserve.” He said finally. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

taglist: @boofy1998 @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi

#Joel x reader #Joel Miller x reader #Joel x plussized!reader #plus sized reader #tlou fanfiction #soft joel #reader insert

dilfgifs

Pedro Pascal & Jon Favreau Compare American and Chilean Snacks | Snack Wars | LADbible

Nothing Stays the Same Forever: Chapter 3

She heard Maria laughing at something when she walked into their house the following evening. There hadn’t been much waiting for her to work on even after staying home the previous day, but she ended up consumed with a complex pattern for the quilt she would sew for Baby Miller. So she felt like a poor guest when she didn’t have time to make anything to contribute to the dinner.

“Is that you Y/N?” Her friend called from the kitchen. “We’re all back here.” She slipped off her coat and hung it up by the front door and went to greet them.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to bring anything tonight.” She said awkwardly. Maria just pulled her into a quick hug.

“Don’t worry about it, just happy to have you here.” Tommy threw an arm around her shoulders and handed her a glass with what looked like whiskey in it.

“You will have to make one of your pies for next time though, I’ve been singing their praises to Joel since he got here.”

“Oh!” She felt the tips of her ears get hot. “I guess we just have to see what’s in season, but I can do that.” She took a swallow of the amber liquid and hoped the alcohol would give her a little more courage. With the pleasant warmth in her belly she finally looked over at Joel and was startled to find him already watching her. Despite herself, she found it nearly impossible to turn away from those deep, dark eyes of his. He sipped at his own glass, still staring her down.

“No Ellie tonight?” Y/N asked, realizing the girl was nowhere to be seen.

“Apparently we’re all old and boring,” Maria told her. “But she did seem to enjoy her visit yesterday.”

“It was nice of her to stop in. I told her she’s welcome any time.”

“Finally broadening your social horizons? I’m glad I sent her over there.” Maria opened the oven and judged the roasted chicken to be finished cooking, pulling it to rest on the counter.

“Should tell Ellie to feel honored, Joel. Y/N doesn’t invite anyone over.” Tommy clapped his brother on the back and poured another splash into his glass. “She’s a shy little violet.”

“She thought I was afraid of her…” Y/N mumbled. “I just wanted her to feel welcome, that’s all.”

“If Ellie wears out her welcome just boot her out the door.” Joel told her. “Girl will talk your damn ear off.” She swallowed down the rest of her whiskey.

“I really don’t mind her company. It might be nice to have some more visitors.” Tommy laughed and nudged Joel with his elbow.

“That sure sounds like an invitation to me, big brother. If you don’t take this pretty lady up on that I’ll disown you.” Y/N felt her face go from hot to cold and back to burning up.

“I d-didn’t mean to suggest…” She stuttered.

“Tommy, stop picking on the poor girl.” Maria punched her husband’s arm lightly. Joel threw back the last of his own drink. Y/N watched his throat constrict as he swallowed.

“Might not be a bad idea to check out your place if Ellie’s gonna be spending time there.” He said. “Make sure you’re a good influence.” Y/N wrung her hands together in a self soothing gesture, wishing she was any good at these types of interactions. Was Joel being serious? Was he teasing her like Tommy liked to? Or, and she highly doubted the last option, could he possibly be flirting?

“You’re welcome any time too, Joel.” She finally said. Desperate to get the attention off of herself, she cleared her throat and glanced over at Maria. “Is there anything I can do to help with dinner?”

“Not a thing,” she replied. “All that’s left to do is sit and eat. We have a fresh loaf of bread and I opened a jar of green beans from last summer’s harvest to go with the chicken. Do you want another drink?” Maria asked over her shoulder as she carved the chicken. “Or I think there’s some iced tea in the fridge.” She was worried more alcohol would loosen her tongue far too much.

“Tea sounds great, can I get you some too?”

“Just water for me, I have to be careful with the caffeine.” Y/N busied herself with the task, grateful for something to do with her hands. Tommy made himself useful and set the table and Joel stepped in to carry the food so Maria didn’t have to. Bracing herself, Y/N turned to sit down and realized with a jolt that she would be sitting next to the brooding man.

“Here you are,” she croaked out. “Everything looks delicious as always, Maria.” She took her seat and tried not to be so aware of the presence beside her. When he passed her the basket with the bread, their hands brushed and it took all her self control to not leap out of her skin. “Thank you.” She whispered, meeting his eyes once again. Joel nodded and for a few seconds she swore the corners of his mouth turned up.

The rest of the meal went by in a blur. Tommy seemed to be in a chatty mood. Maria kept giving her pointed looks that only deepened Y/N’s confusion. She wasn’t a sparkling conversationalist on a good day around people she knew, and Joel didn’t seem to be much of a talker either. The whole situation had her stomach doing somersaults, so she mostly picked at the food on her plate. She spent the time looking down at her fork so she missed the look Tommy and Maria shared.

“Y/N used to work in a bridal boutique.” Maria blurted out, and she looked up in alarm. “Didn’t your Grandma teach you how to sew?” Those dark, searching eyes landed on her again. Y/N could hear her pulse rush in her ears.

“Um, yeah. When I was little.” Maria nudged her leg with her foot. “We found an American Girl doll at a church rummage sale and all she had was a little pair of shoes. She taught me how to make clothes for her.” Joel made a quiet sound in his throat. Y/N swore she could feel the heat radiating off his body.

“We all certainly benefit from her skills.” Was that a hint of frustration in Maria’s voice? “Our patch jobs were pretty rough before we found her.”

“You did what you could. I’m sure you all would have gotten along if I hadn’t ended up here.” She heard her friend sigh and it made her feel awful. What was she supposed to be doing? Y/N wasn’t the type of person that thrived under the attention of others.

“Joel was a contractor back then. You’re both pretty good with your hands.” She glanced over at him again and attempted a friendly smile.

“I bet that was satisfying, building things.” He slowly chewed a bite of food and swallowed.

“It was good work.” He finally replied. Maria rested her forehead against her hand.

“He was very good at what he did,” Tommy laughed. “Just too humble to brag about himself.”

“Kept me busy.”

“What was the most expensive dress you ever worked on, Y/N?” Maria asked. “It was by one of those really fancy designers.”

“It retailed for about twenty thousand. Lots of lace and beadwork.” She could almost feel the delicate fabric slip through her fingers. Luxury and decadence that would most likely never exist again. “We had to be really careful doing the alterations. I did a lot of work on the veil to make it match.”

“Lot of fuss and money for something that was only worn once.” Joel’s dismissive tone hurt Y/N more than she could have anticipated.

“Maybe it wasn’t as noble as building homes, but I really loved what I did. I found it very fulfilling.” She replied, more venom in her tone than she thought she was capable of. Her fist clenched around her fork. Joel looked surprised for a moment, and then sighed, his expression softening.

“I apologize, I didn’t mean to offend you. It really is a lost art these days.” He said gently. As quick as the fire had built up inside of her, Y/N felt it extinguish almost immediately with his apology.

“It’s fine, I guess I didn’t realize how much I miss it. I’m happy to be useful here, but sometimes I can’t help but wish I could work on something that’s only job is to look pretty.”

“Maybe one day you’ll get another chance.” Joel’s benevolent expression surprised her, she didn’t expect that the gruff man could appear soft in any way.

“Maybe.” Was all she respond with.

…

After their shared meal, she insisted that she clean up for Maria. It took less convincing than it normally would have, but as her pregnancy progressed, she found her energy levels depleting much faster. Y/N shooed her friend away to put her feet up and gathered all the dishes to wash. Joel appeared at her elbow with a towel, holding his hand out for one of the wet dinner plates. For a man so large and broad, he moved far too quietly.

“You startled me!” She said, a little breathlessly.

“Sorry. I thought I could help dry.”

“Thanks, that would help.” She handed him the dish and he carefully wiped the water from the plate before putting it back in the cupboard. The two worked in silence for several minutes.

“I really am sorry for being rude before.” He finally mumbled at her. “It’s hard to adjust my mindset being here after twenty years of survival mode.” She nodded and handed him a handful of silverware.

“I know what you mean, I spent most of the time in a FEDRA building in the QZ. It’s so different out there, outside the cities. And then coming to Jackson…It’s a huge culture shock.” She started to wipe down the countertops.

“You were FEDRA?” His body language went rigid.

“Hell no. I just worked in one of their buildings. Officially I was a janitor, but I was more of a glorified maid and step ‘n fetch.”

“Oh.”

“Those people are monsters.” She zoned out looking out the window over the sink. “I dreamed about escaping every single day.” She nearly lept out of her skin when Joel touched her forearm.

“I’m sorry. Again. I keep putting my foot in it tonight.” She stepped away and his hand fell back to his side.

“Don’t worry about it. We’ve all had a shit go ‘round.” She shrugged.

“I feel like we’re off on the wrong foot.” She turned to him, trying not to tear the rag in her tense hands.

“Joel. It’s fine.” He looked a bit like a scolded child.

“Tommy really likes you. Maria too.”

“So you think that means you need to like me?” Y/N didn’t know when the backbone had grown, maybe after downing the whiskey earlier.

“No! I mean I do. I mean…I don’t know you that well yet but you seem like a nice person.” His brow furrowed and he looked annoyed. “I’m no good at this talking to people stuff.”

“I pretty much suck at it too.” She rinsed the rag out and wrung it dry. “Look, I know you didn’t mean to upset me. You seem like you mean well.” There wasn’t much about Joel that said “nice”, but Y/N knew bad and Joel wasn’t it. “I meant what I said before. You and Ellie are both welcome at mine any time. Don’t expect the merry homemaker treatment or anything, but I probably spend too much time alone and it might be nice to have some company.” Joel visibly relaxed a fraction.

“We appreciate it.”

With the kitchen cleaned up, Y/N shrugged her back into her coat and said her thank yous and goodbyes to Maria and Tommy.

“We’ll have to make this a regular thing, maybe convince Ellie to join us next time.” Maria said, hugging Y/N tightly.

“We’ll be older and probably even more boring then.” She replied, making Tommy laugh. “Get some sleep, you do too much.” She told the other woman.

“I gotta get it all done before I’m too big to do anything,” Maria replied with a grin. “This baby isn’t weighing me down just yet.” She looked over at her brother-in-law. “Joel, you’ll make sure she gets back to her house all right?”

“It’s just a little ways down the street…” She began.

“I’ll make sure of it.” He said, and held the front door open for her. With no choice but to go along, Y/N gave Tommy a quick hug and walked out in a huff. Joel mumbled out a goodnight and followed her.

Tommy wrapped Maria up in his arms and kissed her cheek.

“I never thought I’d meet someone as oblivious as my brother. You were about as subtle as a wrecking ball.” Maria laughed and settled against her husband.

“I’d just like to see the two of them not be so lonely. Especially her. She hasn’t told me anywhere near everything she went through…” Sometimes the haunted look on her friend’s face broke her heart. “They could be good for each other, even if it’s just a friendship.”

TAGLIST: @boofy1998 @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi

#Joel Miller x reader #Joel x plussized!reader #Joel x reader #tlou fanfiction #reader insert #plus sized reader

levi-ish

saw this on twitter rn, if you ever feel discouraged about writing fanfiction, read this again

bits-and-babs

14 - Joel Miller. Joel begging is such a nice thought :)

𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐊-𝐘

pairings: Joel Miller x f!Reader

word count: 1k

warnings: very vague reference to suicide (character canon), use of a sex toy (m receiving), overstimulation, reference to spoilt orgasms, oral (m receiving).

summary: you punish Joel for going through your stuff.

joel masterlist | main masterlist | follower celebration | taglist

Creaking on its hinges as you push it open, the door to the entrance of your home is the only sound throughout the house as you enter. It’s oddly silent, differing from the months-long tradition of returning to the twang of gently plucked guitar strings floating downstairs.

“Joel?” You call, arching your brow as you kick off your snow-caked walking boots and leave them on the decking outside. It’s still freezing cold in Jackson; Joel always complaining about your freezing cold feet pressing against him as you cradle each other in an attempt to swindle more body heat.

Nothing Stays the Same Forever: Chapter 2

Y/N was afraid of running into Joel again, but refused to acknowledge that fact even to herself. She wasn’t sure what role he would play in Jackson, and couldn’t know when he would show up at Maria and Tommy’s so she slipped into a routine of avoidance. She saw Ellie a handful of times over the next few weeks. The girl had lost the school argument so she was usually wandering around with some of the other kids her age. Even though she had been welcomed into the fold pretty much immediately Y/N recognized the discomfort in the young girl. The body language was very similar to her own, and she was a grown adult who had lived in Jackson for over a year. But that was another thing she didn’t want to think about too much, so into her mental lockbox it went.

As more time went on the weather started to shift, winter snows gave way to cold rain. The change of temperature made her joints ache, especially the ankle she had badly sprained when her exhausted body had collapsed into the snow before she was rescued. One morning she woke up and found it difficult to move around her little home. Sometimes she wondered if she hadn’t broken the ankle and it hadn’t healed right. Moving slowly, she dressed for the day and began to make her way towards the town center to see if anyone had repairs for her. She glanced over at Joel and Ellie’s house, praying for some reason that he would not see her limping down the road.

“Y/N?” Shit.

“‘Morning, Tommy.” She gritted her teeth into what she hoped was something that resembled a friendly smile. The man jogged over to her and took her arm.

“You alright, darlin’? You look like you’re in pain.” The casual and affectionate pet name usually made her feel warm with happiness, but this morning it sounded like pity and she hated it.

“I’m fine, just the ankle acting up in the cold and wet.” She insisted, pulling away from him.

“If you’re hurtin’ you should stay home and keep your feet up today.” He said gently. Y/N closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. When she opened them again she turned her face to his and smiled reassuringly.

“It’s okay, I can work.” Tommy frowned and forced her to a stop.

“Y/N.”

“Seriously, Tommy. It’s fine.” He put his hand on her shoulder and looked at her.

“There’s no shame in needing a day off, two even.” She could feel tears welling up in her eyes and it made her want to scream.

“But I don’t need it.” Tommy looked over his shoulder at the house.

“Maria!”

“Goddammit! You don’t need to call her, I’m a grown ass woman!” Panic bloomed in her chest as Maria rushed outside.

“What’s wrong?”

“Your husband is an overbearing mother hen.” Y/N sighed. Maria looked her over and noticed the way she was favoring her right leg.

“Ankle?” She took Y/N’s other arm and began to steer the three of them back towards her house. “I’ll tell the others you won’t be in today.”

“Would you two stop it?” She snapped at them. “I don’t sew with my fucking feet, I can handle a days work.” Maria stopped short and let go of her.

“Okay, take five steps without limping then.” She nodded at Tommy who also stepped back. Y/N groaned and looked at Maria with pleading eyes. The other woman only crossed her arms and tilted her chin up in challenge. Y/N took a deep breath and took a step and the sharp pain that shot up her leg took her breath away. “That’s what I thought. Come on, you need to prop that foot up and stay off it today.” She linked her arm through Y/N’s again. “I got it from here, Tommy.”

“This is ridiculous,” Y/N huffed as Maria led her to the couch inside her home. “I said I’m fine, I said I can work.”

“Do you remember what the doctor told you?” Maria carefully slid a pillow under her foot. “She said you were going to have some bad days even after you recovered. I don’t know if you remember how bad it was when we got you back to Jackson, but I’m the one that found you. The fact that you’re still here is a damn miracle.” Maria stood back with her hands on her hips.

“I just want to be useful.” She said quietly, looking down at her hands. “Everyone’s supposed to contribute.”

“And you do, more than you know.” Maria’s tone softened. “But you can’t help anyone if you don’t take care of yourself. So you’re gonna sit here and read some of these trashy romance paperbacks,” she pulled a few worn books off the nearby shelf and set them next to Y/N. “And take it easy for today.”

“What about you and that baby? Shouldn’t you be taken care of you instead of me?” Maria just laughed.

“Hey I need you in tip top shape so you can return the favor when I get too big to function and Tommy’s getting on my last damn nerve. Didn’t you promise to help me when this little person gets here?” She rubbed her hands over the bump where baby Miller was growing every day. “So rest. And hopefully your pain is better tomorrow and it can be business as usual.”

“I’m sorry, Maria.” Y/N said miserably.

“Nothin’ to be sorry about.” Maria patted her shoulder and started to leave when she paused at the front door. “Well, not in this case. But maybe you can tell me why you’ve been so scarce lately when you come to family dinner tomorrow night.” She glanced back at her and winked. “You can work on your story between now and then. You stay off that leg as much as you can today. I’ll check up on you later.” She was gone before Y/N could respond.

“Fucking hell.” She fell back against the couch and let out a groan of frustration. When she was deemed well enough to live on her own she swore to never become a burden for anyone. She furiously wiped away the tears in her eyes. Before she could sink too deep into the self loathing thoughts she reached over and picked up one of the books. The cover art showed a young buxom woman in the embrace of a rugged looking man. And if she thought that he might have resembled a younger, airbrushed version of Joel… Well that was between her and the worn out pages.

…

She must have fallen asleep at some point. The sound of her door being thrown open and closing hard again jolted her awake and the book that had been held loosely in her hand fell to the floor.

“Y/N?” A voice called out. It was familiar but she couldn’t place it until Ellie’s face looked around the corner. “Maria told me to bring you something to eat.” The teen girl said, holding up what looked like a sandwich wrapped in foil. She sat up and winced at the stiff feeling in her back. Ellie tossed the package on the side table and flopped down in the chair across from her.

“Thanks, Ellie.” Y/N told her and carefully swung her leg down.

“Sure.” She replied, looking around the room. “She said you got a bad leg or something.”

“It’s not a big deal. Maria worries though.” She looked over at the sandwich from the corner of her eye. Her stomach growled quietly, she hadn’t eaten anything yet and it looked like it was between three and four in the afternoon.

“You need help with anything? Sometimes Joel’s back gets all fucked up and I have to do everything for the old man.”

“Maria tell you to ask me?”

“Yeah. But there’s nothin’ better to do.” Ellie said with a shrug. Y/N stood up and tested her ankle. It still ached badly, but the pain wasn’t quite as sharp as it had been that morning. She walked into her small kitchen and took out a glass to have some water. She heard Ellie follow her.

“I’m sure you’d rather go see the horses or hang out with your friends from school.”

“I don’t mind.” Ellie opened and closed cabinets, investigating Y/N’s home. It had been years since she had any sort of one on one interaction with kids and she found herself at a loss. The teen seemed content to just wander around and explore. “I don’t see you around much.” Ellie said in an offhand tone. “You just work and go home.” Y/N wasn’t sure how to respond.

“I eat at the dining hall most days.”

“Not when there’s anybody else in there.”

“It’s… I find it difficult to be around a lot of people.” She sat down at her little table and rubbed at her calf.

“Joel’s like that too.” Ellie helped herself to her own glass of water and Y/N was surprised when she sat down with her. “Maria said you’re coming to dinner tomorrow.” Y/N hid her cringe with a sip of water.

“I suppose I was invited.”

“Are you afraid of me or something?” Ellie burst out, and startled her.

“What? Why would you think that?”

“You keep looking at me like I’m gonna stab you or something!” Y/N unconsciously put her hand over her side where an ugly, jagged scar remained, hidden by her clothes. Ellie threw herself out of the chair and started to pace. “Did Maria tell you about me?”

“Huh? No, she hasn’t said anything to me about you! I’m not afraid of you, Ellie!” She took a deep breath and tried to collect her thoughts. She knew nothing about this girl or what had happened to bring her to Jackson, but something about Ellie’s troubled expression had a crack forming in the walls she had spent twenty years building up around her, “Please sit,” her voice was soft. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Ellie sat again but aimed her eyes at the wall behind Y/N.

“Whatever. I just came by because Maria asked me to.” Y/N sighed.

“Well, that was very nice of you. Thank you.” She gestured at a container on the counter. “There should be some cookies in there if you’d like.” She took another sip of water. “When everything went to shit, I was barely twenty years old and I ended up in the Seattle QZ. I worked in the main FEDRA facility for some of the worst people humanity has ever produced.” Ellie finally met her eyes again. “I spent the majority of two decades surrounded by those people until a friend and I were able to escape. I almost died before Maria found me. That’s the condensed version of my life. I’m not afraid of you, Ellie.” She started to reach her hand out towards the girl but stopped herself and curled her fingers into a fist. “And I don’t care what you had to do to survive out there before you came to Jackson.”

“What happened to your friend?” Ellie asked after a few moments, breaking the silence that hung between them. Y/N felt her blunt fingernails dig into the palm of her hand.

Keep going. Promise me you’ll find it. Promise me.

“She didn’t make it.”

“That fucking sucks.” Ellie turned to glance out the window. Y/N got the impression she was thinking of someone she knew that hadn’t made it either.

“Look, you’re welcome to come here any time.” Y/N told her, surprising herself as much as the girl. “And I promise you I won’t ask questions about you behind your back. Maybe one day you’ll feel like telling me about yourself but if you don’t that’s fine too.” Ellie looked at her thoughtfully, the gears in her head turning.

“Will you let me read those romance books?” Y/N laughed, a real genuine laugh.

“As many as you want, it can be our secret.” She was rewarded with a huge grin.

“Awesome.” She jumped up and put her glass in the sink. “I gotta go. I think they’re showing a movie tonight.” Y/N got up and walked with her to the door. Her ankle throbbed, but she needed to move around after sitting all day.

“Thank you for visiting, you can tell Maria I’m okay and I’ll be at dinner tomorrow night.” She followed Ellie out to the front porch and watched the girl head towards town. Ellie turned and waved, which Y/N returned. The light was starting to fade and the wind had picked up, so she wrapped her arms around herself. There weren’t many people outside in the cold but she was suddenly aware of the feeling of being watched. Looking around, her gaze finally landed on Joel who was standing on his own front porch. His dark eyes watching her, looking through her. Y/N shivered and swallowed hard. She lifted her hand in greeting and quickly ducked back into her house. She leaned against her door, heart beating wildly in her chest. Something about that man made her so nervous. Nervous in a way she hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

#Joel x reader #Joel Miller x reader #Joel x plussized!reader #tlou fanfiction #reader insert

Nothing Stays the Same Forever (Masterlist)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

#Joel x reader #Joel Miller x reader #Joel x plussized!reader #tlou fanfiction #reader insert

Nothing Stays the Same Forever: Chapter 1

***author note: I have not played either one of the games. I loved S1 and I’m trying to keep from potentially spoiling the rest of the show for myself so I thought I’d focus my energy on writing a fic. Plus, like the rest of the world I’m absolutely feral for Daddy Pascal rn and since I haven’t felt like writing anything in a hot minute and I do now I’m seizing the moment. As always, your feedback is greatly appreciated and will definitely help inspire me to keep going with this. Cheers!

Every single step was agony. The air was so cold it burned in her throat and lungs, and when she forced one leg in front of the other her muscles screamed and spasmed from the old hunting knife lodged in her side. She gritted her teeth and swallowed down her screams of pain. Stopping now would mean death, if she paused to chase a moment of relief she would lose the strength to continue. After everything that had happened… There was a part of her that desperately wanted to drop in the snow that very moment and let the darkness finally consume her, putting an end to the struggle and suffering.

You promised.

Was that steam rising from the hot tears rolling down her frozen cheeks? Or was it just her labored breaths forcing their way into the waning sunlight?

The settlement exists. It has to. Don't you dare fucking stop moving!

Her hand grips the handle of the knife, trying to somehow stifle the pain. It had been a brutal mental battle to not try and pull it out like her instincts demanded she do. It would only make her bleed out faster, leaving it gave her at least a small chance to find help and survive.

Was she losing her mind or did she hear a dog barking? And… footsteps in the snow? She tried to move faster, fear turning into a lead ball in her stomach. In her haste, she slipped, and only just managed to turn her body so she didn't land on the knife. The fall knocked the meager amount of air from her aching lungs. She tried to be quiet but couldn't help the loud wheezing as she tried to catch her breath.

The footsteps crunched closer, and she heard a voice call out. She strained, attempting to push herself up on the arm that wasn't still holding onto the knife, but all of her remaining strength had abandoned her. She started crying in earnest then, and shame washed over her. After everything, this was how she faced the end? Sobbing in the snow, unable to fight off whatever new hell was about to find her?

She felt the cold, wet nose of a dog prod her cheek. Her eyes squeezed shut and she waited for the animal to tear her throat out. Instead she heard a low whine and the dog laid down and rested its head on her chest. She opened her eyes as it began to snow again. The edges of her vision were starting to go fuzzy and gray but before she succumbed to the dark embrace of unconsciousness, the face of a woman looked down at her. She was talking, but she couldn't make out the words.

…

That was a year ago. And if she was being honest, she had no idea how she survived. Even though the woman and her group managed to get her back to their settlement, which definitely existed, she had been in terrible shape. Hospitals were a thing of the past, they had disappeared along with the rest of the civilized world twenty years ago. But somehow, the residents of Jackson were able to nurse her back to health and welcomed her as a new member of the community. Maria, the kind but no nonsense woman that had been the first person to find her after the dog, had been an angel. She was married to a handsome man named Tommy and the two of them were expecting a baby within the next few months. He was a sweet guy, perhaps a little rough around the edges, but who wasn’t after an apocalypse?

A while ago another man and a teenage girl had passed through. Y/N had stayed away when she heard that the man was Tommy’s brother. Maria always insisted that she was practically family, but there was something about the reunion between the two men that felt fragile and like the presence of another person would be the thing that pushed them over the cliff. The two hadn’t stayed long, but afterwards Maria and Tommy had a lot of hushed conversations. She decided it wasn’t her place to ask questions, telling herself that Maria would bring up the topic if she wanted a friend’s ear.

So she continued her little routine. Before cordyceps, she had worked in alterations at a wedding dress boutique. Jackson didn’t have many people who knew how to sew much past mending a seam or taking up a hem. Somehow they were able to find a sewing machine that still functioned and she became the seamstress of their little village. There was nearly a daily stream of repairs for her. When it was no longer possible to pop over to the local Walmart when your jeans ripped, clothes were kept and repaired for as long as the garment could still be worn. But she did have down time, and would often take scraps of old clothing and make quilts for residents or stuffed toys for the children.

She never gave things out herself. The old taunts from the QZ still played on repeat in her mind whenever she didn’t wait long enough for the dining hall to empty out. Maria and Tommy were the only two people she could bring herself to trust, and no amount of reassurances from the other woman had convinced her to give the others a chance.

…

Joel and Ellie were back. Both alive, with a plethora of new scars both visible and invisible. Tommy was obviously relieved to see his brother in one piece again, and thankful that he still had Ellie with him. The bond between the two had strengthened, neither one of them the same person that had originally walked through the gates. Maria sensed an underlying tension in the air but chose to let it lie. Why disturb the peace when it was so damn hard to come by these days?

Now that they were there to stay, the little house they had used on their first visit was their official home. Y/N saw Joel and Tommy talking on his and Maria’s porch on her morning walk to work. The girl was fidgety and clearly bored. Her hands were stuffed into the pocket on her hooded sweatshirt and she scuffed her boots against the ground, muttering to herself.

“Can I go see the horses?” She called out to the men. They turned to look at her, Joel’s face annoyed, Tommy’s amused.

“Can you just wait for five goddamn minutes?” Joel growled. Ellie snorted.

“You said that five minutes ago you grouchy asshole.” Y/N wasn’t awake enough to stifle her laugh at the girl’s sharp words. Ellie whirled around and narrowed her eyes.

“Something funny?” Y/N felt the mirth dry up in her throat. Did the girl think she was laughing at her?

“N-no, I’m sorry.” Ellie looked her up and down and Y/N found herself absolutely terrified at what the child might say next.

“Y/N!” Tommy pushed his way past his brother and strode up to her with his arm outstretched, taking a gentle hold of her arm when he reached her. “This is my brother Joel and his uh… This is Ellie.” She felt her face get hot as she was led closer to the house. “They’ve decided to stay this time.”

“Oh, um. Nice to meet you.” She looked down at her shoes, wishing she had started out earlier, or waited another ten minutes to walk over to the commissary.

“She’s lived here about a year, and she’s practically family.” Tommy told them with a smile, clearly happy to have found a way to shift away from whatever he and Joel had been discussing. “If you ever need any o’your clothes fixed up she does it all. Don’t know how we managed before we found her.”

“Huh. Could have used you when I had to sew his guts back together..” Ellie said flippantly. She crossed her arms and kicked at a loose stone.

“Jesus, Ellie.” Joel scrubbed his hand over his face in exasperation.

“I um, didn’t mean to interrupt you all.” Y/N said quietly. Tommy swung his arm around her shoulders and side hugged her.

“Don’t worry about it. We were just talking about when Ellie might join the other kids at the school.”

“Without Ellie’s input!” The girl rolled her eyes.

“There’s no point in stalling, kid. Might as well go over there today.” Joel told her.

“I already know how to read and write and shit,” Ellie spit out. “I can do other stuff, help hunt or patrol or something.”

“And I think maybe she could take a few days to get settled before she starts going to classes.” Tommy was trying to be the voice of reason. Ellie was frustrated with both men. Joel looked like he was ready chew glass.

“I should really get going,” Y/N started, trying to pull away from Tommy without it being too obvious that she wanted to bolt. “I think a group went out during the night and they always come back with tears…” Maria chose that moment to open the door and see what was going on.

“Hey, lady!” She smiled at Y/N. “You wanna come in for some tea before you start your to-do pile?” She felt trapped. Tommy wanted her as a buffer between him and the school argument, and it felt like Maria was giving her a silent plea to accept the invitation.

“I… Sure.” Resigned, she started towards the porch. The closer she got to Joel, the more it felt like there was a group of frogs jumping around in her stomach, he had an intimidating aura around him. To her horror she stumbled on the first step and he caught her by the arm. His grip was far more gentle than she expected.

“Okay, there?” He asked her in a quiet, gravely tone. Not trusting herself to speak, she only nodded in response. He looked at her, and she felt an uncomfortable sensation, like she was about to give a speech in front of a large group of people. He gave her a sharp nod and let go of her arm, striding down off the porch. “Let’s go see the damn horses.” He muttered to Ellie and the girl’s face broke into a triumphant grin before she scuttled after him.

“You two enjoy your tea. I’ll meet you for lunch at the dining hall, yeah?” Maria waved.

“I should be there around one.” Tommy saluted the two women and started on his way towards the center of their little town. Maria ushered Y/N into the house and took her coat to hang up by the door.

“I’m glad you wandered by, the three of them would still be arguing.” She walked into the kitchen and took out a slightly chipped mug, dropping a tea bag into it.

“You don’t have to go through the trouble, I probably have a pile of stuff to start working on.” Maria shook her head and pointed at the table.

“Everyone here’s got a spare pair of pants, you can sit for a few minutes.” Y/N knew better than to argue and settled into a chair. Maria poured hot water into the mug and slid it over to her with a spoon. “I still have some of that honey we harvested, help yourself.” Y/N smiled to herself when she noticed the swell of Maria’s abdomen as the other woman cut herself a couple slices of bread. There was already a soft flannel teddy bear squirreled away in her house, and she was collecting scraps to make a quilt for the baby. She hoped that they would like them. The couple had already done so much for her, and she wanted nothing more than to somehow pay back even a little of what they had given her. With a quiet sigh, she scooped up a spoonful of thick, golden honey and stirred it into her tea. The morning sun shone through the kitchen window and reflected off the liquid, and she felt foolish that it made her think of Joel’s eyes when she had looked up at him after almost falling on her face. She rubbed at her arm where he had saved her from total embarrassment. Maria sat down across from her and spread some of the honey onto her toast. When she looked up at Y/N, the almost dreamy look on her friend’s face made her wonder for a moment, before she smiled and took a bite of her breakfast.

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