🦴 THE TOXIC STRAY 🦴
NAME: D
AGE: 29 (too many for this level of stupidity)
STATUS: Bodily Married // Personally unpartnered (currently screaming at a dust bunny)
GENDER: Transmasc / Siamese Himbo / He-Him-Kitten
🧠 KITTEN BRAIN ACTIVITIES:
* The Brain Cell: It is currently drowning in a puddle of gasoline. It is not coming back.
* Siamese Screech: I am the loudest man in the graveyard. I don’t have thoughts, I have vibrations, and I will yowl them at you until you scruff me.
* Himbo Physics: Big boy, big muscles, zero thoughts. I am a meat suit for a very confused, very loud cat.
* Liquid State: I have no bones. I am a puddle. This is especially true when there is a certain daddy dom in a black leather jacket around—I will literally melt into a heap of Siamese fluff and bad decisions at his feet.
* Stupid Behavior Log: I stare at blank walls for three hours, try to eat plastic bags, and fall off the bed because I forgot how legs work. I also do the "big eyes" at ghosts in the corner of the room.
* The T-Script: 💉 Boy-juice and grit. Growing hair like a forest beast and smelling like woodsmoke and nicotine.
🔞 CONTENT WARNINGS:
* ADULTS ONLY: This is a blog for grown-ups. Minors will be hissed at and chased away.
* SLUTTY CAT ENERGY: I am a shameless, slutty kitten. Expect lewd reblogs, suggestive yapping, and zero modesty.
* TOXIC VIBES: Heavy mentions of smoking, chemicals, and general health hazards.
THE STASH (THINGS I LIKE):
🚬 Cigarettes: Always have one behind my ear. I smell like an ashtray and patchouli.
🧶 Yarn Tangles: I am down to crochet you a cursed sweater, but I will probably end up tangling myself in the wool and crying until I'm rescued.
⛽ Toxic Aromas: I will literally follow a gas truck for three miles just for a sniff.
🎸 Loud Noises: Alt/grunge music, heavy eyeliner, and thrifted lace.
⛓️ Shiny Trinkets: Cuffs, collars, and silver rings I will definitely lose in a dumpster.
🏗️ PREFERRED SCRUFFING TECHNIQUES:
* The "Put Me Back": Pick me up by the back of the neck and toss me onto a soft surface.
* The "Suitcase Carry": Under the arm, ribs squeezed, zero dignity.
* The "Wall Pin": High-intensity scruffing for when I've been a particularly loud public nuisance.
* The "Yeet": Literally just launch the kitten. I'll probably land on my feet. Probably.
⚠️ SAFETY WARNING (HANDLE WITH GLOVES):
* DO NOT LEAVE UNATTENDED: Will lick the sidewalk if left alone for more than 30 seconds. I love the texture of cement.
* CHEMICAL HAZARD: I play with cancer-causing agents like they’re catnip. Masks are for cowards.
* BITER: I have pretty privilege, but I will still nip if you stop the scritches.
⛽ CURRENT OBSESSIONS:
* Vintage Gasoline: The kind that makes your vision go a little blurry.
* Local Infrastructure: Specifically the 7-Eleven parking lot cement. 10/10 flavor.
* The Lab: Playing with chemicals without any PPE.
* Leather Jackets: Looking for a specific one to melt under.
🚨 THE CRIME LOG (THINGS I BROKE/STOLE):
* Property Damage: My own lungs and at least three ritual candles.
* Theft: Stole a hoodie. It’s a nest now. I live here.
* Public Nuisance: Licked a parking lot in front of a horrified family of four.
* Gravity: Forgot it existed and fell into a trash can.
📖 LORE DUMP:
mrow. i am just a little guy. a big siamese man. i am 50% "head empty" and 50% "please pick me up by the scruff and throw me across the room." i have exactly zero survival instincts and a very high desire to be manhandled. if you have a cool bone or a spare cigarette, put it in the bowl. pshpshpsh.
📍 LAST KNOWN LOCATION:
Face down in a puddle of gas at the Shell station
🛑 DUMBASS DISCLAIMER:
The owner of this blog is not responsible for any psychic damage, second-hand smoke, or chemical burns sustained while interacting with this siamese man. Do not attempt to explain tax returns or complex metaphors to the kitten; it will cause his brain to overheat. Handle with extreme prejudice and a heavy-duty leash.
