I cry because my heart is hurting, my heart is broken, it’s like a part of me is missing, taken away forever, I feel lost, speechless, yet all I want to do is scream. I am angry, I am angry cause I had no option. I’m angry cause I was and am still in pain. Pain that goes beyond my body, it reaches my heart, my mind, my soul. I am numb. I’m in pain for disappointment. I’m hurting because I felt abandoned. I am hurting because my soul wants to be happy for being surrounded by much love and care for those I didn’t even expect, and yet my souls is broken and hurts. I’m angry cause I was in pain. I am angry at my body, but i know it’s not it’s fault. Im angry cause I wanted you here . I’m angry I got to hear your heartbeat one day and lose my own heartbeat the next. I am angry cause I wanted family here, I felt this need hug Julia and I couldn’t. I am angry cause I worried so many people. I am angry I was left without options. I am angry things like that keep happening to me. I am angry I couldn’t do anything to save you, to have you in my arms, to hold you. I know you are now a little angel watching over me, and you know I loved you from the second I dreamed of you. I am angry cause crying reliefs the heart but doesn’t cure me. I am scared cause i don’t want to feel this way forever. I want to let this pain pass, I want to grieve you. I want to forgive who has hurt me, abandoned me. I want to be thankful for those who showed me love and attention. I want to move on, but right now it feels impossible to even breathe. My heart needs time to rest.