There was no lie in Amelia’s words, there never was. At least not with him. She knew him probably better than anyone and the guilt built up inside of him that he’d been keeping so much from her. He was reckless, what could he say, and he’d always felt a sort of responsibility for protecting the family and protecting others. Even if his father hadn’t been a Hit Wizard, hadn’t died Edgar probably would have still chosen this path. He was reckless, and that was partially from his inability to stay still but also because he always felt like he needed to be doing something. And this cause had given him that something to focus his energy on and now that everything was becoming more real he’d felt a determination like never before. “That’s why I have to do something about it, Amelia. We know I’m not patient enough to try to go the political route of it all, with this job I can make a difference.” It seems that she had not taken the bait for the lighter conversation and he chose his words carefully. But he could feel it. Their unspoken emotions and Bones’ anger roaring on the horizon. Amelia would never quietly let him risk his life for something she considered could be so easily avoided. She would never understand his longing for hands-on action. Since they were kids Edgar could never keep himself still, that’s partially why their bond had grown so close. He’d nagged and bugged Amelia nonstop since the day she’d been born but over the years that energy had started shifting elsewhere.
“Oh, and are you implying that I’m only trying to copy dad? Like I’m trying to live my whole life in his footsteps?” And this was the anger he’d been sensing. It was finally here and all prospects of avoiding this fight, talking about the Order were out of the question. He had been hoping to tell her in more private circumstances, maybe over winter break if she hadn’t been so busy. But they were back for winter term now, and there was no avoiding it. “I’m not going to die for some shiny badge. I’m not going to die.” No one ever planned on dying early. “That’s not why I chose this job. I don’t want to be Dad. Can’t you see? Like you said the world isn’t changing for the better and I can’t just stand by and wait patiently for something to change. I have to be out there Mel, I have to stand up for what’s right.” He was pleading with her, hoping desperately that she’d see where he was coming from. Despite the DMLE being under the Ministry jurisdiction, he knew there were many Order members within its ranks that had the same agenda as him. Together they could do something about the war, protect those who needed it. “I’m trying to protect Mom. Once I’m out there I can watch over her, make sure she’s okay. I’m sorry Amelia but I can’t just ignore what’s going on just so Mom can feel perfectly safe about the job I’ve chosen. We’re going into a war, no job is safe and I’m not going to let others die right in front of me.” It felt like a stab in his chest, Amelia making him choose between their mother and people dying.
He felt like he was falling apart as she verified all his observations on the climate of the Wizarding World. She wasn’t being dramatic, wasn’t even raising her voice at him but he felt like he was being screamed at. “Listen, we may not have him anymore but that doesn’t mean our family has to be ruined. It does get better, you grieve and you have to find a way to move on with your life. You can’t stay stuck in the past forever, war doesn’t let you stop to grieve the casualties.” His words sounded foreign to him like he was stuck behind a wall of water hearing someone else speak for him. He’d never been more tactical and factual than he was now, talking strangely emotionless about the death of his own father. “I’m still here if you’d let me! You’re gone! All the time! You have no idea about the choices I’ve made, and the things I’m doing because you’re gone!” He’d never wanted to blame her for furthering her career, he knew this is what she’d been planning on doing even before their family grew apart. Becoming independent was just a part of growing older. “Gideon– he’s just been there with me through some things. I don’t want you to feel like you have to choose it as well, I don’t want you to get involved if you don’t have to.”
She was stubborn. That much was certain. That when the winds attempted to move her, she’d remained firmly planted like the mountains. Firm believer in the things she’d managed t4o know over time, Amelia Bones was a stubborn and frustrating girl. Too loud for her own good, too willing to bite and bark rather than resolve. She’d been passionate about many a thing, and Edgar just so happened to find himself categorized under such. She’d loved her brother, her best friend, her family. A life without him hadn’t seemed worth much of anything, and she’d been determined to make him see that. Whilst a war had been brewing, Amelia had managed to find herself faithfully in the middle. Remaining to be something likened to Switzerland, she’d thought, knowing much more about muggle politics than she’d cared to admit no thanks to Rita’s many rants in her ears. Carefully she’d known both sides, had seen what the other had managed to do to one another, how they were willing to lay down their lives for a cause. Was she a coward for not allowing herself to swear fealty to one over the other? Or had she simply found a way to survive, had self preservation taken over. The Bones family was notorious for their views, for their anti pureblooded propaganda that had labelled them pariahs amongst their social circles, had carried the weight of blood traitors. “You think that’s the only way to make a difference?” It comes out sharp, like a knife against a throat. “That you’ll draw your wand and suddenly the world will be at peace? That if you find a dark wizard and lock them up that there won’t be ten fold hiding in the dark?” She’d once believed herself capable of changing the world, and perhaps it had been foolish, but a sliver of Amelia still believed it possible. “Politically saavy or not Edgar, is isn’t as if I’ll just be sitting in some high tower awaiting justice. It’s not like I won’t be trying my hardest every day.” It wasn’t a personal attack, she knew that much, however it felt like a punch to her gut all the same.
“Am I wrong?” It stuns her, the heightened tone of her vocals as she snaps back at him so willingly. Half a years worth of aggression unleashed upon him as if she’s finally breathing for the first time. Releasing something of a burden in which she’s carried. There was little she didn’t share with Isobel, yet this felt almost too hardened and she hadn’t wanted to worry her. Knowing fully well how vulnerable the muggleborns had been as of late to the world. She hadn’t been able to seek out solace in Regulus, however much she’d denied that she’d wanted to. So she’d bottled it up, allowed anger to swell in her like a storm awaiting its release unto Edgar. “You don’t know that, Edgar. You can’t look me in the eyes and tell me that you’re going to get through this, much like I can’t tell you but you don’t see me out here denyin’ it, promising things I’m not sure of.” She hears him out and for a moment her heart weighs heavy that she’d ever doubted him. Yet, there’d been a wall slowly finding its way between them for far too long. A picturesque family, perfectly poised and happy, unlike most other pureblooded homes. Amelia had watched as it was ripped from her grasp faster than she ever could’ve imagined, and in turn she’d distanced herself rather than deal. Rather than awake in the morning to see the face of their mother, eyes puffed from the continuous sobs that broke through the evening. “Fine.” Her jaw clenches as arms cross against her chest, as if reverting back to the emotions of a child who’d been told no.
“So that’s it then, there’s a period on grieving and we’re all supposed to just be able to get out of bed again?” There’s an inkling of heavy doubt within her vocals. She’d mock him if she had the strength. “Dad isn’t just a casualty to be added to a list of faceless, nameless people.” She knew he hadn’t meant it that way, yet she defends him all the same if only because she’d always been her father’s daughter. As stubborn as a mule, as unwavering as the rolling hills that surrounded their home. “Because you don’t tell me, Edgar. I left because I couldn’t be there but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to know, that I deserve to be kept in the dark. You’re gallivanting ‘round with Gideon in this bloody castle as if the world is continuing to spin and this is the first time you’ve even bothered to ask how I’m feeling.” There’d never been a jealousy when it came to the time in which Edgar had chosen to spend with Gideon rather than her. The latter had always been something of another brother, an extension of her family. However, when she’d needed Edgar she hadn’t quite the right idea as to how to go about it. In turn hoping that he’d see, that he’d notice. Yet, he hadn’t and she’d began to dig herself into a hole of mindless work, of long days and nights spent within the Ministry with every ounce of her free time. “I’m not going to choose anything.” She’d remained firm on this stance entirely. However much the world had wanted her to, she’d known the repercussions of doing such a thing and hadn’t wanted any part in it. “I know where I stand, and you should too. I’m not a monster or any less important because I’m not out there risking my life or trying to hunt down whoever was daft enough to attempt to slaughter the bloody caretaker.”
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