good stories are bad lives

vent blog because i hate my journals

[lilcowgirl7-deactivated20210223]

[c04l01l]

bro text is saving me from calling my dysfunctional family on their birthdays 😪 thank fucking god!! like i feel like a deadbeat son and brother but honestly i don’t really care

[c04l01l]

guys i probably have breast cancer at age 25 this shit cannot be real :”)) like i’m trans i did not even ask to have breasts. it is just not fair

[c04l01l]

i’m miserable

MISERABLE

MISERABLE!!!

[c04l01l]

i don’t have anything to do. not for lack of things to do. but lack of mind. lack of presence. lack of awareness. lack of sentience. i’m immobilized by existence

[c04l01l]

how to convey my pain?

it’s like i’m not worth anything.

[sage-hazeline]

how do you reconnect to life after being disconnected for so long

[persianmom-deactivated20251026]

look at your hands, go on a walk, call the people you love. tell yourself this is it, this is all I have, this one life and then stop running from it. turn around. walk toward it especially when it hurts or feels hard. if you must, crawl, until you can sprint. savor the mundane. remind yourself that time is simply borrowed and that everything you love will be sucked in the vacuum of the past so what can you do besides really enjoy this tiny little moment?

[greelin]

can i [REMEMBERS THAT TALKING ABOUT KILLING MYSELF IS NOT GREAT. THE MIND KILLER. ETC] be killed with a hammer. By someone else

[weltenwellen]

Jonice Webb, Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

[goat-boots]

I copy pasted parts of this but I do hand letter everything, because while I'm trying to work easier as I'm chronically ill, I am still chronically stupid

[c04l01l]

we touched the same posts and that genuinely makes me sick

and you posted about me. our relationship… it’s not like i wasn’t hunting. you were last active 8 months ago.

it’s just like longing for a life you had… one you lost… and it’s all your fault and you know it… we’ll never be together again. he’s so much better to and for me than you ever fucking were once in your goddamn life. you deserve your loneliness you brought this on yourself

[c04l01l]

i hate myself

[c04l01l]

idk why i feel like this

[c04l01l]

but i remember you / you had a body / you had hands, and arms, and legs, and et cetera

[c04l01l]

my dad is such an asshole

[c04l01l]

break from family christmas for joint and greenday

[c04l01l]

over 2hrs. was on the phone with the person for like 5 minutes