if you’re miserable, maybe u need to eat more citrus & open the windows a little wider & read that poetry book you’ve been putting off & enjoy hot bread with melted butter & go to bed with your phone on do not disturb
My most trusted older cousin up in Trenton just informed me that my mom is going to attempt to find me sometime between tomorrow night and Wednesday because they work at the same grocery store and, not only did she take time off, but she expressed her intentions. I feel like I’m being fucking hunted. My mother doesn’t know my new address (I’ve kept that shit MAJORLY on the down low), but the island I’m on is super small...and because I work with the wildlife on and off here, a lot of the clammies here know “of” me, so even if they don’t know who I am exactly. They definitely know my face. There is also an insane amount of police here and that is how my mother has managed to find me before: by claiming that I am a danger to myself (I DO have a mental health record due to the severe CPTSD I have to this day due to my father’s sexual and physical abuse and blatant torture and my mothers neglect and “suck it up, I had it way worse” attitude) and she is so incredibly manipulative this bullshit has worked. This woman is Dangerous and she always has been and no one cares. This woman broke my nose and barely anyone batted an eye. I’ve had friends leave me because I didn’t just leave her..when hello....that’s not the safest thing to do when dealing with a highly abusive, volatile person!!!
I am so scared. I have NO ONE to ask for help. I don’t really have family I can trust to stay with (the ones I DO TRUST ARE ALL THE WAY IN FLORIDA, dealing with their own issues) and I’m petrified of staying at a friend’s home and my mother hurting them or damaging their reputation. Javier is leaving this week (he’ll be back in late September)...so I can’t ask him for protection either. I’m FUCKED. I know I’m going to either die or be beaten so badly...
I know the state can put you in a hotel room for a day or two, but they typically leave you in the same county and I just... don’t feel like that is a good option for me and, besides, that option is for people who are thrown out onto the street without warning (it’s emergency homeless help) and I don’t want to take that help from someone just because I am afraid.
I honestly think my safest option would be to stay in an out of county hotel or even one that is out of state and low profile.
The cheapest hotels I can find are in the $170 range, all with at least a $50 security deposit for locals. These are all really dingy places too, the last one I stayed at didn’t even have a lock on the door, just a huge kitchen knife in the dresser closest to the door 😐 (I posted about it, I’ll try to find it) but all these crappy little places are pricey because they are in south Jersey and it’s tourist season (thanks again, tourists). The hotels in central Jersey are all super priced and mainly for traveling businessmen and there is no way I am venturing into NORTH Jersey.
I’m looking at some camp ground cabins that look safe and fairly priced...
$80/ night for 3 nights would be $240 plus I can bring my service dog for free and there is only a $30 service fee.
So.... no matter what I do, and I have to ACT FAST, I need $220- 270 (~$250)
I have $78 in my account thanks to you lovely people. I’m so sorry I keep begging, I don’t know what to do. I have a protective order against my mother, but she doesn’t care. I’ve called the cops and they don’t care unless she’s already hurt or killed me. The closest shelter is in Atlantic City and, honestly, that scares me a little. I do not trust my neighbors well enough to ask if I can spend a few nights with them and I do not think it’s fair to throw myself into a mental health ward just because my mother is insane. I work 40-50 hours a week, I volunteer and contribute to my community as much as I can. I am not a “free loader” looking for handouts. If anyone has any suggestions or tips, please please please I AM BEGGING FOR HELP. Advice, well wishes, prayers to the gods you worship, anything. I am legitimately afraid.
*please feel free to ask anyone I talk to regularly on here, or snoop through my blog, I have a very long history with this and have documented my mother’s abuse on here for almost an entire decade and have spoken to many of my friends on here about it. The truth is, there is very little help for women my age and in my situation. We are burdens on society and are treated as such by most.*
Go to paypal.me/KatyLeeVixxey and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.
our momentum is slowing down. we can’t let our dashes go back to normal when the world is not normal. so, if you are reading this, you are ~legally~ obligated to choose 2 numbers below; you must complete the task of those two numbers today. don’t pretend you didn’t see this. either do them right now or set a reminder to get it done before the sun goes down. the timer starts now. choose two.
sign some petitions. LINK HERE. if change.org hasn’t accused you of being a bot yet, you haven’t signed enough.
watch this youtube video. LINK HERE. do not skip the ads. this is a way to help raise money without having to donate any.
sign up to get daily actions. LINK HERE. after filling out the form, you will receive texts Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays telling you what action to take. (i got this link from @ wp4bl on instagram)
text or call for any of these victims. LINK HERE. this website is extremely helpful, well organized, and practically does all of the work for you.
donate some money. LINK HERE. if you have any more money to spare, please donate it to one of these funds.
follow every single one of these organizations on social media: blcklivesmatter, colorofchange, reclaimtheblock, showingupforracialjustice, and civilrightsorg
post these important sources to your social media. LINK HERE. you have no idea who it might help.
read this article and forward it to at least one person. LINK HERE.
watch this video explaining the racial wealth gap. LINK HERE. it’s really informative and only about 15 minutes long.
do some reading. LINK HERE. this link has a ton of great resources to educate yourself. read at least one.
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