edd

[c0la-addict]

hello tumblr :D

this is the edd of @matt-the-beautiful

mod is @garblenon

[c0la-addict]

THE MONSTER!!

[c0la-addict]

such good pasta..

lots of bacon on it…

houghhh…

[c0la-addict]

hey, tord cloned himself and the clone went rogue

just a heads up

wait what?

[c0la-addict]

is tom visible today?

um

yeah?

[matt-the-beautiful]

i am the most beautiful living thing in this house! but if we weren't just talking about living things, i'd say my room is more beautiful, because of all of the pictures of me, and mirrors my face can be reflected in!

[c0la-addict]

ringo is more beautiful

[matt-the-beautiful]

nope!

[c0la-addict]

:(

[matt-the-beautiful]

i am the most beautiful living thing in this house! but if we weren't just talking about living things, i'd say my room is more beautiful, because of all of the pictures of me, and mirrors my face can be reflected in!

[c0la-addict]

ringo is more beautiful

[c0la-addict]

oh its fiiineee

...

yeahhhh... i'm sure i'll be fine!

but just in case...

WOOSH, SUPERHERO OUTFIT CHANGE!

there we go!

[c0la-addict]

just look for a building with 3 big v's on it

okay!

but.. wait...

didn't lucifer say to not leave the hotel?

[c0la-addict]

you should go to v tower

its fun trust

where’s that?

[kingofhell-morningstar]

i wanted to pet the kitty.

@c0la-addict

"yeah, well the kitty didnt wanna be pet. and that 'kitty' is a grown ass man."

[c0la-addict]

i don't see why him being a grown man should factor into this. sometimes grown men do want to be petted and loved and cuddled platonically, so i'm not in the wrong here at all. also, who are you and why are you short?

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, one, that man is clearly not very keen on physical affection, and two, I'm Lucifer. king of hell?"

[he doesnt answer the short question.]

[c0la-addict]

...i just really like cats...

huh. last time i saw hell it was really different. ..unless this is the hell of another dimension. that would make sense.

i'm edd! nice to meet you!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"yeah, no, i can tell— its nice meeting you too, edd."

[he circles him.]

"yeah, no..youre definitely not dead. how do non-sinners keep getting down here??"

[c0la-addict]

oh thank god! if i died, i'd be so sad, because i didn't get to say goodbye to my cat beforehand. she's my best friend and the soul inheritor of everything i own.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"trust me, bud, if you died, youd know. that guy you were petting? hes a prime example of what happens to people who die and go to hell."

[c0la-addict]

he's so fluffyyyy..

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, youll find that there are other people down here that are plenty fluffy! and more than half of them would kill you if you tried to pet them."

[c0la-addict]

aw...

but fluffy things are my favourite things to pet...

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, yeah, no, I totally get it, but people down here are the worst."

[c0la-addict]

well you don't seem so bad, considering you're the king of hell.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, ahah— I wouldnt say im half bad, at all."

[he seems proud of that— right. sin of pride.]

[c0la-addict]

i was raised catholic, but i've kinda forgotten everything about like.. all the heaven and hell lore since i moved out of my parents' house. especially since my friend matt is a vampire, so we can't go near holy stuff.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh shit, an actual vampire? huh!"

"well, all you need to know is heaven is full of a bunch of miss-prissy-pants', and hell is a shithole made because god wanted to punish me for giving humans free will."

[thats..definitelt not the full story, but..)

[c0la-addict]

oh, yeah, matt got bit by a vampire, so now he is one! but thankfully he's able to go in the sun and show up in mirrors unless he's hungry.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"lucky duck!"

[c0la-addict]

and i have superpowers! so our friend tom is the only normal one! except for whatever's up with his eyes, but that seems like nothing.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"whats wrong with his eyes?"

[c0la-addict]

so y'know how people usually have the white bit, the coloured bit, then the black bit?

his eyes are all black bit. or he doesn't have eyes.. it's hard to tell, because it's just blackness. empty.. dark.. void-like...

but it just seems to be some weird quirk, and he can't do anything that any normal person can't do.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"...you ever think he might be possessed?"

[c0la-addict]

what? no! haha! tom's not possessed! he even made a joke about being possessed one time, because it was halloween; he'd tell us if he actually was possessed!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

[LUCIFER just looks at him for a long minute, before patting his back.]

"..sssure, kiddo. sure."

[c0la-addict]

tom's one of my best friends! i know most things about him!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"I mean, yeah, but...you dont always know everything about the people you love. hell— I've hidden a lot of stuff from my daughter. private stuff. maybe its the same for this tom fellow..?"

[c0la-addict]

mmmm.. i think the only things i don't know about him are the things he doesn't know about himself. like who his real parents are.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well— that could also be part of why his eyes are like that. hm. yeah."

[c0la-addict]

yeah, it's probably just genetic.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"mmhm."

[he nods, before clapping his hands]

"...so! do you, uh, need any help getting back to your plane of existence, oorr.."

[c0la-addict]

um. yes. probably. ..yeah. i do.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, youre in luck, because im just the guy you need! though, uh...I dont guarantee itll be quick. ill need a bit to figure out where youre from, exactly, and that could take a few minutes, hours, a daaay....maybelongerr.."

[c0la-addict]

that's okay! i can wait!

[he is too pure. he will not survive in hell.]

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh thank god, I thought youd freak out more—"

[LUCIFER can see that. oh god. he worries for this man. hes like a cheerful little puppy dog. if given a human form.]

"Well! ill try to be as quick as I can, kid! while youre here, ah...I recommend not talking to much people. unless theyre— yknow, my daughter. shes awesome— have i told you about my daughter, Charlie, yet?"

[c0la-addict]

no, you haven't. is she nice? i like meeting new people; it's just swell!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, shes THE BEST. she actually runs this hotel! this entire hotel is dedicated to the idea of redeeming sinners so they get a chance to get into heaven— which, sounds ridiculous to ME, but Im not going to stop her from achieving her dreams. she is the sweetest girl you will EVER meet."

[c0la-addict]

oh i can't wait to meet her! she sounds amazing!!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"she is! and you should meet her girlfriend, too!— when she comes back around, of course. those two are so cute together. you can find charlie...hm...shes SOMEWHERE in the hotel, not sure where that girl is, right now...but shes here! I know she is!"

[c0la-addict]

that's great! i'll say hi if i see her. ..i'm assuming she looks like you.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"ive been told we look alike— ooh, wait, ive got a picture of her—"

[he pulls out his phone and shows him a picture of CHARLIE.]

[..they look ljke they could be twins.]

[c0la-addict]

oh, wow! you really do look alike!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"shes got her old mans looks!"

[he looks so proud, yet again]

[c0la-addict]

well, i'll be sure to say hi if i see her!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"good! and, ah, I dont suggest leaving the hotel. this place right here? yeah? this is the safest place you can be. so just...maybe stay here? until I can send you home?"

[c0la-addict]

sure!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"good! now, if youll ex-cuuuse mme, I need to go check on something in my room— you stay safe, now, kid!"

[he likes this guy. hes polite!]

[c0la-addict]

byeeee!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

i wanted to pet the kitty.

@c0la-addict

"yeah, well the kitty didnt wanna be pet. and that 'kitty' is a grown ass man."

[c0la-addict]

i don't see why him being a grown man should factor into this. sometimes grown men do want to be petted and loved and cuddled platonically, so i'm not in the wrong here at all. also, who are you and why are you short?

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, one, that man is clearly not very keen on physical affection, and two, I'm Lucifer. king of hell?"

[he doesnt answer the short question.]

[c0la-addict]

...i just really like cats...

huh. last time i saw hell it was really different. ..unless this is the hell of another dimension. that would make sense.

i'm edd! nice to meet you!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"yeah, no, i can tell— its nice meeting you too, edd."

[he circles him.]

"yeah, no..youre definitely not dead. how do non-sinners keep getting down here??"

[c0la-addict]

oh thank god! if i died, i'd be so sad, because i didn't get to say goodbye to my cat beforehand. she's my best friend and the soul inheritor of everything i own.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"trust me, bud, if you died, youd know. that guy you were petting? hes a prime example of what happens to people who die and go to hell."

[c0la-addict]

he's so fluffyyyy..

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, youll find that there are other people down here that are plenty fluffy! and more than half of them would kill you if you tried to pet them."

[c0la-addict]

aw...

but fluffy things are my favourite things to pet...

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, yeah, no, I totally get it, but people down here are the worst."

[c0la-addict]

well you don't seem so bad, considering you're the king of hell.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, ahah— I wouldnt say im half bad, at all."

[he seems proud of that— right. sin of pride.]

[c0la-addict]

i was raised catholic, but i've kinda forgotten everything about like.. all the heaven and hell lore since i moved out of my parents' house. especially since my friend matt is a vampire, so we can't go near holy stuff.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh shit, an actual vampire? huh!"

"well, all you need to know is heaven is full of a bunch of miss-prissy-pants', and hell is a shithole made because god wanted to punish me for giving humans free will."

[thats..definitelt not the full story, but..)

[c0la-addict]

oh, yeah, matt got bit by a vampire, so now he is one! but thankfully he's able to go in the sun and show up in mirrors unless he's hungry.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"lucky duck!"

[c0la-addict]

and i have superpowers! so our friend tom is the only normal one! except for whatever's up with his eyes, but that seems like nothing.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"whats wrong with his eyes?"

[c0la-addict]

so y'know how people usually have the white bit, the coloured bit, then the black bit?

his eyes are all black bit. or he doesn't have eyes.. it's hard to tell, because it's just blackness. empty.. dark.. void-like...

but it just seems to be some weird quirk, and he can't do anything that any normal person can't do.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"...you ever think he might be possessed?"

[c0la-addict]

what? no! haha! tom's not possessed! he even made a joke about being possessed one time, because it was halloween; he'd tell us if he actually was possessed!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

[LUCIFER just looks at him for a long minute, before patting his back.]

"..sssure, kiddo. sure."

[c0la-addict]

tom's one of my best friends! i know most things about him!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"I mean, yeah, but...you dont always know everything about the people you love. hell— I've hidden a lot of stuff from my daughter. private stuff. maybe its the same for this tom fellow..?"

[c0la-addict]

mmmm.. i think the only things i don't know about him are the things he doesn't know about himself. like who his real parents are.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well— that could also be part of why his eyes are like that. hm. yeah."

[c0la-addict]

yeah, it's probably just genetic.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"mmhm."

[he nods, before clapping his hands]

"...so! do you, uh, need any help getting back to your plane of existence, oorr.."

[c0la-addict]

um. yes. probably. ..yeah. i do.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, youre in luck, because im just the guy you need! though, uh...I dont guarantee itll be quick. ill need a bit to figure out where youre from, exactly, and that could take a few minutes, hours, a daaay....maybelongerr.."

[c0la-addict]

that's okay! i can wait!

[he is too pure. he will not survive in hell.]

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh thank god, I thought youd freak out more—"

[LUCIFER can see that. oh god. he worries for this man. hes like a cheerful little puppy dog. if given a human form.]

"Well! ill try to be as quick as I can, kid! while youre here, ah...I recommend not talking to much people. unless theyre— yknow, my daughter. shes awesome— have i told you about my daughter, Charlie, yet?"

[c0la-addict]

no, you haven't. is she nice? i like meeting new people; it's just swell!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, shes THE BEST. she actually runs this hotel! this entire hotel is dedicated to the idea of redeeming sinners so they get a chance to get into heaven— which, sounds ridiculous to ME, but Im not going to stop her from achieving her dreams. she is the sweetest girl you will EVER meet."

[c0la-addict]

oh i can't wait to meet her! she sounds amazing!!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"she is! and you should meet her girlfriend, too!— when she comes back around, of course. those two are so cute together. you can find charlie...hm...shes SOMEWHERE in the hotel, not sure where that girl is, right now...but shes here! I know she is!"

[c0la-addict]

that's great! i'll say hi if i see her. ..i'm assuming she looks like you.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"ive been told we look alike— ooh, wait, ive got a picture of her—"

[he pulls out his phone and shows him a picture of CHARLIE.]

[..they look ljke they could be twins.]

[c0la-addict]

oh, wow! you really do look alike!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"shes got her old mans looks!"

[he looks so proud, yet again]

[c0la-addict]

well, i'll be sure to say hi if i see her!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"good! and, ah, I dont suggest leaving the hotel. this place right here? yeah? this is the safest place you can be. so just...maybe stay here? until I can send you home?"

[c0la-addict]

sure!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

i wanted to pet the kitty.

@c0la-addict

"yeah, well the kitty didnt wanna be pet. and that 'kitty' is a grown ass man."

[c0la-addict]

i don't see why him being a grown man should factor into this. sometimes grown men do want to be petted and loved and cuddled platonically, so i'm not in the wrong here at all. also, who are you and why are you short?

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, one, that man is clearly not very keen on physical affection, and two, I'm Lucifer. king of hell?"

[he doesnt answer the short question.]

[c0la-addict]

...i just really like cats...

huh. last time i saw hell it was really different. ..unless this is the hell of another dimension. that would make sense.

i'm edd! nice to meet you!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"yeah, no, i can tell— its nice meeting you too, edd."

[he circles him.]

"yeah, no..youre definitely not dead. how do non-sinners keep getting down here??"

[c0la-addict]

oh thank god! if i died, i'd be so sad, because i didn't get to say goodbye to my cat beforehand. she's my best friend and the soul inheritor of everything i own.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"trust me, bud, if you died, youd know. that guy you were petting? hes a prime example of what happens to people who die and go to hell."

[c0la-addict]

he's so fluffyyyy..

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, youll find that there are other people down here that are plenty fluffy! and more than half of them would kill you if you tried to pet them."

[c0la-addict]

aw...

but fluffy things are my favourite things to pet...

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, yeah, no, I totally get it, but people down here are the worst."

[c0la-addict]

well you don't seem so bad, considering you're the king of hell.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, ahah— I wouldnt say im half bad, at all."

[he seems proud of that— right. sin of pride.]

[c0la-addict]

i was raised catholic, but i've kinda forgotten everything about like.. all the heaven and hell lore since i moved out of my parents' house. especially since my friend matt is a vampire, so we can't go near holy stuff.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh shit, an actual vampire? huh!"

"well, all you need to know is heaven is full of a bunch of miss-prissy-pants', and hell is a shithole made because god wanted to punish me for giving humans free will."

[thats..definitelt not the full story, but..)

[c0la-addict]

oh, yeah, matt got bit by a vampire, so now he is one! but thankfully he's able to go in the sun and show up in mirrors unless he's hungry.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"lucky duck!"

[c0la-addict]

and i have superpowers! so our friend tom is the only normal one! except for whatever's up with his eyes, but that seems like nothing.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"whats wrong with his eyes?"

[c0la-addict]

so y'know how people usually have the white bit, the coloured bit, then the black bit?

his eyes are all black bit. or he doesn't have eyes.. it's hard to tell, because it's just blackness. empty.. dark.. void-like...

but it just seems to be some weird quirk, and he can't do anything that any normal person can't do.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"...you ever think he might be possessed?"

[c0la-addict]

what? no! haha! tom's not possessed! he even made a joke about being possessed one time, because it was halloween; he'd tell us if he actually was possessed!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

[LUCIFER just looks at him for a long minute, before patting his back.]

"..sssure, kiddo. sure."

[c0la-addict]

tom's one of my best friends! i know most things about him!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"I mean, yeah, but...you dont always know everything about the people you love. hell— I've hidden a lot of stuff from my daughter. private stuff. maybe its the same for this tom fellow..?"

[c0la-addict]

mmmm.. i think the only things i don't know about him are the things he doesn't know about himself. like who his real parents are.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well— that could also be part of why his eyes are like that. hm. yeah."

[c0la-addict]

yeah, it's probably just genetic.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"mmhm."

[he nods, before clapping his hands]

"...so! do you, uh, need any help getting back to your plane of existence, oorr.."

[c0la-addict]

um. yes. probably. ..yeah. i do.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, youre in luck, because im just the guy you need! though, uh...I dont guarantee itll be quick. ill need a bit to figure out where youre from, exactly, and that could take a few minutes, hours, a daaay....maybelongerr.."

[c0la-addict]

that's okay! i can wait!

[he is too pure. he will not survive in hell.]

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh thank god, I thought youd freak out more—"

[LUCIFER can see that. oh god. he worries for this man. hes like a cheerful little puppy dog. if given a human form.]

"Well! ill try to be as quick as I can, kid! while youre here, ah...I recommend not talking to much people. unless theyre— yknow, my daughter. shes awesome— have i told you about my daughter, Charlie, yet?"

[c0la-addict]

no, you haven't. is she nice? i like meeting new people; it's just swell!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, shes THE BEST. she actually runs this hotel! this entire hotel is dedicated to the idea of redeeming sinners so they get a chance to get into heaven— which, sounds ridiculous to ME, but Im not going to stop her from achieving her dreams. she is the sweetest girl you will EVER meet."

[c0la-addict]

oh i can't wait to meet her! she sounds amazing!!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"she is! and you should meet her girlfriend, too!— when she comes back around, of course. those two are so cute together. you can find charlie...hm...shes SOMEWHERE in the hotel, not sure where that girl is, right now...but shes here! I know she is!"

[c0la-addict]

that's great! i'll say hi if i see her. ..i'm assuming she looks like you.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"ive been told we look alike— ooh, wait, ive got a picture of her—"

[he pulls out his phone and shows him a picture of CHARLIE.]

[..they look ljke they could be twins.]

[c0la-addict]

oh, wow! you really do look alike!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"shes got her old mans looks!"

[he looks so proud, yet again]

[c0la-addict]

well, i'll be sure to say hi if i see her!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

i wanted to pet the kitty.

@c0la-addict

"yeah, well the kitty didnt wanna be pet. and that 'kitty' is a grown ass man."

[c0la-addict]

i don't see why him being a grown man should factor into this. sometimes grown men do want to be petted and loved and cuddled platonically, so i'm not in the wrong here at all. also, who are you and why are you short?

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, one, that man is clearly not very keen on physical affection, and two, I'm Lucifer. king of hell?"

[he doesnt answer the short question.]

[c0la-addict]

...i just really like cats...

huh. last time i saw hell it was really different. ..unless this is the hell of another dimension. that would make sense.

i'm edd! nice to meet you!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"yeah, no, i can tell— its nice meeting you too, edd."

[he circles him.]

"yeah, no..youre definitely not dead. how do non-sinners keep getting down here??"

[c0la-addict]

oh thank god! if i died, i'd be so sad, because i didn't get to say goodbye to my cat beforehand. she's my best friend and the soul inheritor of everything i own.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"trust me, bud, if you died, youd know. that guy you were petting? hes a prime example of what happens to people who die and go to hell."

[c0la-addict]

he's so fluffyyyy..

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, youll find that there are other people down here that are plenty fluffy! and more than half of them would kill you if you tried to pet them."

[c0la-addict]

aw...

but fluffy things are my favourite things to pet...

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, yeah, no, I totally get it, but people down here are the worst."

[c0la-addict]

well you don't seem so bad, considering you're the king of hell.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, ahah— I wouldnt say im half bad, at all."

[he seems proud of that— right. sin of pride.]

[c0la-addict]

i was raised catholic, but i've kinda forgotten everything about like.. all the heaven and hell lore since i moved out of my parents' house. especially since my friend matt is a vampire, so we can't go near holy stuff.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh shit, an actual vampire? huh!"

"well, all you need to know is heaven is full of a bunch of miss-prissy-pants', and hell is a shithole made because god wanted to punish me for giving humans free will."

[thats..definitelt not the full story, but..)

[c0la-addict]

oh, yeah, matt got bit by a vampire, so now he is one! but thankfully he's able to go in the sun and show up in mirrors unless he's hungry.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"lucky duck!"

[c0la-addict]

and i have superpowers! so our friend tom is the only normal one! except for whatever's up with his eyes, but that seems like nothing.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"whats wrong with his eyes?"

[c0la-addict]

so y'know how people usually have the white bit, the coloured bit, then the black bit?

his eyes are all black bit. or he doesn't have eyes.. it's hard to tell, because it's just blackness. empty.. dark.. void-like...

but it just seems to be some weird quirk, and he can't do anything that any normal person can't do.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"...you ever think he might be possessed?"

[c0la-addict]

what? no! haha! tom's not possessed! he even made a joke about being possessed one time, because it was halloween; he'd tell us if he actually was possessed!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

[LUCIFER just looks at him for a long minute, before patting his back.]

"..sssure, kiddo. sure."

[c0la-addict]

tom's one of my best friends! i know most things about him!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"I mean, yeah, but...you dont always know everything about the people you love. hell— I've hidden a lot of stuff from my daughter. private stuff. maybe its the same for this tom fellow..?"

[c0la-addict]

mmmm.. i think the only things i don't know about him are the things he doesn't know about himself. like who his real parents are.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well— that could also be part of why his eyes are like that. hm. yeah."

[c0la-addict]

yeah, it's probably just genetic.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"mmhm."

[he nods, before clapping his hands]

"...so! do you, uh, need any help getting back to your plane of existence, oorr.."

[c0la-addict]

um. yes. probably. ..yeah. i do.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, youre in luck, because im just the guy you need! though, uh...I dont guarantee itll be quick. ill need a bit to figure out where youre from, exactly, and that could take a few minutes, hours, a daaay....maybelongerr.."

[c0la-addict]

that's okay! i can wait!

[he is too pure. he will not survive in hell.]

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh thank god, I thought youd freak out more—"

[LUCIFER can see that. oh god. he worries for this man. hes like a cheerful little puppy dog. if given a human form.]

"Well! ill try to be as quick as I can, kid! while youre here, ah...I recommend not talking to much people. unless theyre— yknow, my daughter. shes awesome— have i told you about my daughter, Charlie, yet?"

[c0la-addict]

no, you haven't. is she nice? i like meeting new people; it's just swell!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, shes THE BEST. she actually runs this hotel! this entire hotel is dedicated to the idea of redeeming sinners so they get a chance to get into heaven— which, sounds ridiculous to ME, but Im not going to stop her from achieving her dreams. she is the sweetest girl you will EVER meet."

[c0la-addict]

oh i can't wait to meet her! she sounds amazing!!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"she is! and you should meet her girlfriend, too!— when she comes back around, of course. those two are so cute together. you can find charlie...hm...shes SOMEWHERE in the hotel, not sure where that girl is, right now...but shes here! I know she is!"

[c0la-addict]

that's great! i'll say hi if i see her. ..i'm assuming she looks like you.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"ive been told we look alike— ooh, wait, ive got a picture of her—"

[he pulls out his phone and shows him a picture of CHARLIE.]

[..they look ljke they could be twins.]

[c0la-addict]

oh, wow! you really do look alike!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

i wanted to pet the kitty.

@c0la-addict

"yeah, well the kitty didnt wanna be pet. and that 'kitty' is a grown ass man."

[c0la-addict]

i don't see why him being a grown man should factor into this. sometimes grown men do want to be petted and loved and cuddled platonically, so i'm not in the wrong here at all. also, who are you and why are you short?

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, one, that man is clearly not very keen on physical affection, and two, I'm Lucifer. king of hell?"

[he doesnt answer the short question.]

[c0la-addict]

...i just really like cats...

huh. last time i saw hell it was really different. ..unless this is the hell of another dimension. that would make sense.

i'm edd! nice to meet you!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"yeah, no, i can tell— its nice meeting you too, edd."

[he circles him.]

"yeah, no..youre definitely not dead. how do non-sinners keep getting down here??"

[c0la-addict]

oh thank god! if i died, i'd be so sad, because i didn't get to say goodbye to my cat beforehand. she's my best friend and the soul inheritor of everything i own.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"trust me, bud, if you died, youd know. that guy you were petting? hes a prime example of what happens to people who die and go to hell."

[c0la-addict]

he's so fluffyyyy..

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, youll find that there are other people down here that are plenty fluffy! and more than half of them would kill you if you tried to pet them."

[c0la-addict]

aw...

but fluffy things are my favourite things to pet...

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, yeah, no, I totally get it, but people down here are the worst."

[c0la-addict]

well you don't seem so bad, considering you're the king of hell.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, ahah— I wouldnt say im half bad, at all."

[he seems proud of that— right. sin of pride.]

[c0la-addict]

i was raised catholic, but i've kinda forgotten everything about like.. all the heaven and hell lore since i moved out of my parents' house. especially since my friend matt is a vampire, so we can't go near holy stuff.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh shit, an actual vampire? huh!"

"well, all you need to know is heaven is full of a bunch of miss-prissy-pants', and hell is a shithole made because god wanted to punish me for giving humans free will."

[thats..definitelt not the full story, but..)

[c0la-addict]

oh, yeah, matt got bit by a vampire, so now he is one! but thankfully he's able to go in the sun and show up in mirrors unless he's hungry.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"lucky duck!"

[c0la-addict]

and i have superpowers! so our friend tom is the only normal one! except for whatever's up with his eyes, but that seems like nothing.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"whats wrong with his eyes?"

[c0la-addict]

so y'know how people usually have the white bit, the coloured bit, then the black bit?

his eyes are all black bit. or he doesn't have eyes.. it's hard to tell, because it's just blackness. empty.. dark.. void-like...

but it just seems to be some weird quirk, and he can't do anything that any normal person can't do.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"...you ever think he might be possessed?"

[c0la-addict]

what? no! haha! tom's not possessed! he even made a joke about being possessed one time, because it was halloween; he'd tell us if he actually was possessed!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

[LUCIFER just looks at him for a long minute, before patting his back.]

"..sssure, kiddo. sure."

[c0la-addict]

tom's one of my best friends! i know most things about him!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"I mean, yeah, but...you dont always know everything about the people you love. hell— I've hidden a lot of stuff from my daughter. private stuff. maybe its the same for this tom fellow..?"

[c0la-addict]

mmmm.. i think the only things i don't know about him are the things he doesn't know about himself. like who his real parents are.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well— that could also be part of why his eyes are like that. hm. yeah."

[c0la-addict]

yeah, it's probably just genetic.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"mmhm."

[he nods, before clapping his hands]

"...so! do you, uh, need any help getting back to your plane of existence, oorr.."

[c0la-addict]

um. yes. probably. ..yeah. i do.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, youre in luck, because im just the guy you need! though, uh...I dont guarantee itll be quick. ill need a bit to figure out where youre from, exactly, and that could take a few minutes, hours, a daaay....maybelongerr.."

[c0la-addict]

that's okay! i can wait!

[he is too pure. he will not survive in hell.]

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh thank god, I thought youd freak out more—"

[LUCIFER can see that. oh god. he worries for this man. hes like a cheerful little puppy dog. if given a human form.]

"Well! ill try to be as quick as I can, kid! while youre here, ah...I recommend not talking to much people. unless theyre— yknow, my daughter. shes awesome— have i told you about my daughter, Charlie, yet?"

[c0la-addict]

no, you haven't. is she nice? i like meeting new people; it's just swell!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, shes THE BEST. she actually runs this hotel! this entire hotel is dedicated to the idea of redeeming sinners so they get a chance to get into heaven— which, sounds ridiculous to ME, but Im not going to stop her from achieving her dreams. she is the sweetest girl you will EVER meet."

[c0la-addict]

oh i can't wait to meet her! she sounds amazing!!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"she is! and you should meet her girlfriend, too!— when she comes back around, of course. those two are so cute together. you can find charlie...hm...shes SOMEWHERE in the hotel, not sure where that girl is, right now...but shes here! I know she is!"

[c0la-addict]

that's great! i'll say hi if i see her. ..i'm assuming she looks like you.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

i wanted to pet the kitty.

@c0la-addict

"yeah, well the kitty didnt wanna be pet. and that 'kitty' is a grown ass man."

[c0la-addict]

i don't see why him being a grown man should factor into this. sometimes grown men do want to be petted and loved and cuddled platonically, so i'm not in the wrong here at all. also, who are you and why are you short?

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, one, that man is clearly not very keen on physical affection, and two, I'm Lucifer. king of hell?"

[he doesnt answer the short question.]

[c0la-addict]

...i just really like cats...

huh. last time i saw hell it was really different. ..unless this is the hell of another dimension. that would make sense.

i'm edd! nice to meet you!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"yeah, no, i can tell— its nice meeting you too, edd."

[he circles him.]

"yeah, no..youre definitely not dead. how do non-sinners keep getting down here??"

[c0la-addict]

oh thank god! if i died, i'd be so sad, because i didn't get to say goodbye to my cat beforehand. she's my best friend and the soul inheritor of everything i own.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"trust me, bud, if you died, youd know. that guy you were petting? hes a prime example of what happens to people who die and go to hell."

[c0la-addict]

he's so fluffyyyy..

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, youll find that there are other people down here that are plenty fluffy! and more than half of them would kill you if you tried to pet them."

[c0la-addict]

aw...

but fluffy things are my favourite things to pet...

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, yeah, no, I totally get it, but people down here are the worst."

[c0la-addict]

well you don't seem so bad, considering you're the king of hell.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, ahah— I wouldnt say im half bad, at all."

[he seems proud of that— right. sin of pride.]

[c0la-addict]

i was raised catholic, but i've kinda forgotten everything about like.. all the heaven and hell lore since i moved out of my parents' house. especially since my friend matt is a vampire, so we can't go near holy stuff.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh shit, an actual vampire? huh!"

"well, all you need to know is heaven is full of a bunch of miss-prissy-pants', and hell is a shithole made because god wanted to punish me for giving humans free will."

[thats..definitelt not the full story, but..)

[c0la-addict]

oh, yeah, matt got bit by a vampire, so now he is one! but thankfully he's able to go in the sun and show up in mirrors unless he's hungry.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"lucky duck!"

[c0la-addict]

and i have superpowers! so our friend tom is the only normal one! except for whatever's up with his eyes, but that seems like nothing.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"whats wrong with his eyes?"

[c0la-addict]

so y'know how people usually have the white bit, the coloured bit, then the black bit?

his eyes are all black bit. or he doesn't have eyes.. it's hard to tell, because it's just blackness. empty.. dark.. void-like...

but it just seems to be some weird quirk, and he can't do anything that any normal person can't do.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"...you ever think he might be possessed?"

[c0la-addict]

what? no! haha! tom's not possessed! he even made a joke about being possessed one time, because it was halloween; he'd tell us if he actually was possessed!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

[LUCIFER just looks at him for a long minute, before patting his back.]

"..sssure, kiddo. sure."

[c0la-addict]

tom's one of my best friends! i know most things about him!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"I mean, yeah, but...you dont always know everything about the people you love. hell— I've hidden a lot of stuff from my daughter. private stuff. maybe its the same for this tom fellow..?"

[c0la-addict]

mmmm.. i think the only things i don't know about him are the things he doesn't know about himself. like who his real parents are.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well— that could also be part of why his eyes are like that. hm. yeah."

[c0la-addict]

yeah, it's probably just genetic.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"mmhm."

[he nods, before clapping his hands]

"...so! do you, uh, need any help getting back to your plane of existence, oorr.."

[c0la-addict]

um. yes. probably. ..yeah. i do.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, youre in luck, because im just the guy you need! though, uh...I dont guarantee itll be quick. ill need a bit to figure out where youre from, exactly, and that could take a few minutes, hours, a daaay....maybelongerr.."

[c0la-addict]

that's okay! i can wait!

[he is too pure. he will not survive in hell.]

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh thank god, I thought youd freak out more—"

[LUCIFER can see that. oh god. he worries for this man. hes like a cheerful little puppy dog. if given a human form.]

"Well! ill try to be as quick as I can, kid! while youre here, ah...I recommend not talking to much people. unless theyre— yknow, my daughter. shes awesome— have i told you about my daughter, Charlie, yet?"

[c0la-addict]

no, you haven't. is she nice? i like meeting new people; it's just swell!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, shes THE BEST. she actually runs this hotel! this entire hotel is dedicated to the idea of redeeming sinners so they get a chance to get into heaven— which, sounds ridiculous to ME, but Im not going to stop her from achieving her dreams. she is the sweetest girl you will EVER meet."

[c0la-addict]

oh i can't wait to meet her! she sounds amazing!!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

i wanted to pet the kitty.

@c0la-addict

"yeah, well the kitty didnt wanna be pet. and that 'kitty' is a grown ass man."

[c0la-addict]

i don't see why him being a grown man should factor into this. sometimes grown men do want to be petted and loved and cuddled platonically, so i'm not in the wrong here at all. also, who are you and why are you short?

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, one, that man is clearly not very keen on physical affection, and two, I'm Lucifer. king of hell?"

[he doesnt answer the short question.]

[c0la-addict]

...i just really like cats...

huh. last time i saw hell it was really different. ..unless this is the hell of another dimension. that would make sense.

i'm edd! nice to meet you!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"yeah, no, i can tell— its nice meeting you too, edd."

[he circles him.]

"yeah, no..youre definitely not dead. how do non-sinners keep getting down here??"

[c0la-addict]

oh thank god! if i died, i'd be so sad, because i didn't get to say goodbye to my cat beforehand. she's my best friend and the soul inheritor of everything i own.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"trust me, bud, if you died, youd know. that guy you were petting? hes a prime example of what happens to people who die and go to hell."

[c0la-addict]

he's so fluffyyyy..

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, youll find that there are other people down here that are plenty fluffy! and more than half of them would kill you if you tried to pet them."

[c0la-addict]

aw...

but fluffy things are my favourite things to pet...

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh, yeah, no, I totally get it, but people down here are the worst."

[c0la-addict]

well you don't seem so bad, considering you're the king of hell.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, ahah— I wouldnt say im half bad, at all."

[he seems proud of that— right. sin of pride.]

[c0la-addict]

i was raised catholic, but i've kinda forgotten everything about like.. all the heaven and hell lore since i moved out of my parents' house. especially since my friend matt is a vampire, so we can't go near holy stuff.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh shit, an actual vampire? huh!"

"well, all you need to know is heaven is full of a bunch of miss-prissy-pants', and hell is a shithole made because god wanted to punish me for giving humans free will."

[thats..definitelt not the full story, but..)

[c0la-addict]

oh, yeah, matt got bit by a vampire, so now he is one! but thankfully he's able to go in the sun and show up in mirrors unless he's hungry.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"lucky duck!"

[c0la-addict]

and i have superpowers! so our friend tom is the only normal one! except for whatever's up with his eyes, but that seems like nothing.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"whats wrong with his eyes?"

[c0la-addict]

so y'know how people usually have the white bit, the coloured bit, then the black bit?

his eyes are all black bit. or he doesn't have eyes.. it's hard to tell, because it's just blackness. empty.. dark.. void-like...

but it just seems to be some weird quirk, and he can't do anything that any normal person can't do.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"...you ever think he might be possessed?"

[c0la-addict]

what? no! haha! tom's not possessed! he even made a joke about being possessed one time, because it was halloween; he'd tell us if he actually was possessed!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

[LUCIFER just looks at him for a long minute, before patting his back.]

"..sssure, kiddo. sure."

[c0la-addict]

tom's one of my best friends! i know most things about him!

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"I mean, yeah, but...you dont always know everything about the people you love. hell— I've hidden a lot of stuff from my daughter. private stuff. maybe its the same for this tom fellow..?"

[c0la-addict]

mmmm.. i think the only things i don't know about him are the things he doesn't know about himself. like who his real parents are.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well— that could also be part of why his eyes are like that. hm. yeah."

[c0la-addict]

yeah, it's probably just genetic.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"mmhm."

[he nods, before clapping his hands]

"...so! do you, uh, need any help getting back to your plane of existence, oorr.."

[c0la-addict]

um. yes. probably. ..yeah. i do.

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"well, youre in luck, because im just the guy you need! though, uh...I dont guarantee itll be quick. ill need a bit to figure out where youre from, exactly, and that could take a few minutes, hours, a daaay....maybelongerr.."

[c0la-addict]

that's okay! i can wait!

[he is too pure. he will not survive in hell.]

[kingofhell-morningstar]

"oh thank god, I thought youd freak out more—"

[LUCIFER can see that. oh god. he worries for this man. hes like a cheerful little puppy dog. if given a human form.]

"Well! ill try to be as quick as I can, kid! while youre here, ah...I recommend not talking to much people. unless theyre— yknow, my daughter. shes awesome— have i told you about my daughter, Charlie, yet?"

[c0la-addict]

no, you haven't. is she nice? i like meeting new people; it's just swell!