The Last Time We Say Goodbye by Cynthia Hand
I recently just finished this book and let me tell you guys something, this is a book that completely touched my soul. Yes that sounds ridiculous and corny and you can hate me all you want for that, but it is very true.
I am not one for a “touchy feels” sort of book. I love horror and books that mess with your head. I love books that make you think about things you would never truly think about. Books that make you say, if this really happened we would all be seriously screwed in life. I am also a fan of science fiction and plenty of fantasy.
So this book is no where near what I usually read but it was recommended to me by someone I am very close to so I gave it a whirl.
Here is what the back of the book says….
THERE IS DEATH ALL AROUND US. WE JUST DON’T PAY ATTENTION. UNTIL WE DO.
Since her brother, Tyler, committed suicide, Lex has been trying to keep her grief locked away. But memories of Tyler haunt her every step, and there’s a secret she hasn’t told anyone – a text Tyler sent, that could have changed everything.
Lex’s brother is gone. But Lex is about to discover that a ghost doesn’t have to be real to keep you from moving on.
I am going to warn everyone right now, there will be spoilers ahead, but you have been warned so you can’t complain to me if I ruin anything for you.
So that is it. You get get to really live through the life of Lex and see how she is doing post-loss of her brother.
Throughout the book you really get a sense of who she was. You see that she is a young girl, senior in high school, and a total brain. She has her life completely ahead of her with plenty of options for a future and college. She has friends, a boyfriend, a loving mom, and she was pretty close to her brother.
The book starts with her brother already gone, so you hear all of these accounts and memories from Lex. You see that she did have a life, but it shattered the second she heard the news.
You hear about her struggles and how she closes herself off from the world. Her grades start to slip, she avoids her friends, and her mom is skipping out on work and drinking and taking pills which makes Lex worry about her.
It is all well and good listening to Lex tell about her story, sharing memories of Tyler. She is so wrapped up in her grief that she even believes she is seeing Tyler around the house, she can smell him, and she even sees him in the back seat of their car. Lex believes that Tyler is trying to tell her something, trying to get her to do his unfinished business.
The greatest thing about this story is you really see her grow as a person. She is in such a deep hole that it seems like she will never get out of it. Like she won’t be a survivor of loss. But then, slowly but surely, she starts to climb out of the hole.
She gets close with her old best friend from when she was little, Sadie, who helps her and listens to her. She receives a letter from MIT which she has been dreaming about her whole life. She gets close to one of Tyler’s old friends, Damian, who helps her realize it is not her fault that Tyler committed suicide and that the only one that could help Ty was Ty himself. She mends things with her father, who is not in the picture much. She becomes much stronger even though she was broken to her very core.
Throughout this whole story you realize that, yes, loss hurts. Yes, sometimes it is SO hard to continue on. Yes, it does look like there will never be a bright day after someone you love is gone. But…
YOU WILL! It will get better. It will get easier. It will become brighter. You can make it through any dark day. You can make it through the worst of times, you just always need to remember that there will be better times.
If you have experienced any sort of loss, you should read it. It is a wonderful and soul touching.
If you haven’t lost someone, still read it, because it is still a beautiful story.
If you have thought about making the same choice Tyler has, please don’t. People love you, even though you might not realize it or feel that way. Someone’s world will come crashing down if you are no longer around. You are beautiful in every way. Also, if you need someone to talk to, please message me. I will never turn a deaf ear.
