Autumn 💕🍂

She/her - bi - 29y/o 🥲 Notoriously bad at replying to DM’s. MDNI. Go away, you shouldn’t be here.

[caij9888]

Hello, a bit of an introduction post. Probably about time I write one of these.

This blog is my inner monologue/outlet. Things I wouldn’t likely say out loud under normal circumstances. My intent is to use this as an outlet, which includes my growing list of kinks. So when I say MDNI, I mean it. I will block if your age is not in your bio.

I have been lurking on and off for years, and I’m back for now. I don’t know how long it’ll last, but may as well have fun while I’m here, right?

A few of my likes:

- Soft cardiophilia - all aspects of it

- Listening/being listened to

- D/s

- CNC

Dislikes:

- Dark cardiophilia of any sort. The real risk on someone’s life is a major turn off for me

- Resus

- AI slop

I will never judge or shame anyone for what they’re into, unless it’s truly fucked up, so please don’t be offended by my dislikes 🫶

When I’m not doom scrolling, I am an avid reader of smut 😂 if there are any other girlies who read and want to chat books, hmu 📚. My favourite genres are dark romance, romantasy, contemporary romance, thrillers (when I want a break from dirty words).

I frequently write how I’m feeling in my notes on my phone, and it’s often rage based lol. Some of that stuff might end up here. Just ignore me 😅 I love to rant.

Also, I can be pretty shit at replying to DM’s. Okay, that’s all. Bye!

[caij9888]

You mine as well leave, AI slop and dark cardio is all this place is anymore

Yeah… You’re probably right

[caij9888]

Am I the only one terrified of aging? It feels like my world is ending as I near 30.

Why do I still feel so naive and like I have nothing figured out? On the contrary, I’m stable af, it just doesn’t feel like it.

Is this my midlife crisis? Feeling unfulfilled, like I’m failing at my ripe age of 29 (that sounds sarcastic, but I mean it whole heartedly).

I have my shit together. I own a home, have a stable career, but I just don’t feel like I’ve done anything substantial or worthwhile. It’s like, in a few months, my life will be over.

I have nothing truly to complain about. It is a privilege to age.

[caij9888]

Coming to the conclusion I had kinks was a bit of a whirlwind. Realising I loved the sound of hearts beating in more than a source of comfort was confronting. I thought I was messed up, lowkey still do, but I’ve come to the realisation that it’s the vulnerability that I enjoy.

When a heart pounds, it can’t be faked. That person is having a visceral reaction to what’s being done to them and I genuinely think it’s sexy af.

How are we supposed to convey our kinks to our sexual partners? I’ve never been able to do so, lumped in with the fact that I have a thing for being dommed. Like “please choke me daddy and listen to how you make my heart pound while you fuck me and tell me I’m a good girl,” I’d sound psychotic 🥲

[caij9888]

Quick recording of my “resting” heart rate.

I say resting because I was laying in bed doing nothing, but I think nerves overcame me 🫣

[legendarysuitpirate-deactivated]

[caij9888]

First post! I was at the gym earlier today and the stair master is a bitch… Sorry for the quality, I used my phone in the changing room to record and I was struggling for oxygen 🥲