I have a few things I just need to type out and I know no one will read it on here so this is where I came. I've been really down lately, in a bad funk I dont know how to get out of. It came out of nowhere but now I dont sleep qnd I feel like any self confidence I developed got whisked away by the wind. And it just really sucks you know because I go through these periods of time where I feel really good and happy and then all it takes is a good look in the mirror or a snide comment and I'm right back down. Or even just too much time alone. I never sleep to the point or not being able to live my day to day life without a coffee and the effect wears off to a point that half way through my day I just feel irritated the rest of the day. I feel like I'm just in a life crisis right now. I have a nice job but I feel confused if this should be where I am for the rest of my life. All of a sudden I hate all of my clothes and I dont even know where to start to get new ones not like I have money right now to do that. I just feel like I'm discovering I dont like who I am and I dont even know how to begin to change that. I feel myself having constant panic attacks about the fact that imngonna die one day and I cant even stand to joke about it. I feel like my friends just sweep me under the rug most times. I'll be talking to someone and I get interrupted and the conversation never resumes. Like people dont xare about what I have to say and that hurts a lot. Makes it harder to leave my house most days or be around anyone I'm not with all the time. Going to family events or even being around family makes me feel worthless. I feel like I'm just the thing that people could do withput. That if I wasnt around no one would notice or care qnd they would live their lives just fine. And that just really sucks.