You're in technicolor brightness

Caleb Fowell || 20 || Blind, PTSD, fear of the dark

[onefcrthepain]

Cane… glasses… It only took a moment for Oliver to catch onto what was going on in front of him. He’d run into a blind resident, clearly. Well, this was going to be fun. He tilted his head slightly, weighing up the situation. “Oh, just checking on my patients. I’ve been assigned to you and I was just coming to meet you in the therapy wing. Is everything alright Mr… Oh gosh, I’m terrible with names. I get all up in a pickle. Remind me?”

[calebfowell]

Caleb hesitated. How hard could it be to remember the one blind patients name? Especially if he’d been assigned... But he gave the other the benefit of the doubt for now. “Caleb.” He responded. “Just Caleb is fine... I didn’t know they were giving me a new carer...” He trailed off, leaving it completely open to see how the other took it. Caleb hated how hard he found it to trust people, bt he’d never been assigned anyone that he wasn’t informed about first before.

[onefcrthepain]

Cane… glasses… It only took a moment for Oliver to catch onto what was going on in front of him. He’d run into a blind resident, clearly. Well, this was going to be fun. He tilted his head slightly, weighing up the situation. “Oh, just checking on my patients. I’ve been assigned to you and I was just coming to meet you in the therapy wing. Is everything alright Mr… Oh gosh, I’m terrible with names. I get all up in a pickle. Remind me?”

[calebfowell]

Caleb hesitated. He was usually told when a new nurse would be around, but it wasn’t completely unlikely that they’d just forgotten, right? “Caleb...” He decided to answer anyway, hand tightening around his cane slightly. “They didn’t tell me I was getting a new nurse. Do you know why?” He asked, his posture changing as he got more and more nervous.

[onefcrthepain]

Oliver couldn’t put his finger quite on what had triggered the switch but he frankly didn’t care. This person - this state - cared very little about that sort of thing. Details were for people with boring lives who needed to fill their time with boring facts and tedious conversation. All that this person - Alistair he called himself - actually cared about was the here and now, if you could call it caring. It was more of a tolerance. The knowledge that to make things interesting, he actually had to bother with the ins and outs of what was going on around him. Which was why, when he spotted someone passing him in the hallway, a smirk quirked up to his lips. “Well hey there.” He greeted, putting himself in the other’s path. “Where are you rushing off to?”

[calebfowell]

Caleb had been heading back to his room from a therapy session when he suddenly heard a voice directly ahead of him. His cane tapped on something that wasn’t the wall and he immediately knew someone was there in front of him... But he didn’t recognise the voice. Charlie was at her weekly training class to help her adjust to helping him around the facility and the dangers he ight face there, and so he was completely alone. “I was just returning to my room...” He responded, hesitating before continuing. “Is there something I can help you with?”

[calebfowell]

Open FTF

[kodafitz]

Keep reading

[calebfowell]

Caleb was confused at first. What was going on? All he knew was that Koda was close, and that he could hear them letting out noises that sounded like they were in pain. “Ko-?” He started, but his hand was being taken and guided and his heart stopped. It didn’t take long for him to work out what had happened. Though they were different, he’d felt his own burn enough to know what his fingers were brushing over.His lips parted to speak, but nothing would come. He could feel his eyes brimming with tears, but before they could fall, his arms were moving. He pulled his hand free, but only to brush it up and over Koda’s shoulder, gently pulling them into a hug. One arm situated around them, while the other rested at the back of their head. There were no words... just the hug for now.

[gustxxssnarchive]

I’m back from iso, and I think it was worth it? I can’t tell what’s what anymore. My mind has been in a constant state of “eh”. 

Did I miss anything interesting? 

[calebfowell]

Nothing’s worth Iso. What happened?!

[calebfowell]

Open FTF

[druggeduphunter]

“He knows.” He stated, running a hand through his hair. “Trust me. He knows. It’s why I basically had to tell him to leave me the hell alone so he wouldn’t get hurt..” He trailed off, swallowing thickly. This was hard. It was really hard and he couldn’t figure out why. He had pushed people away because of his father before. Why was Blaine so different? 

[calebfowell]

Caleb nodded slightly, taking a breath. “Hunter...” He started, not sure where to go from there. He was worried, that was for sure. “Is everything... Are you okay? You’re... You’re safe, right? If there’s anything I can do...” He trailed off, biting his lip. “I’ll keep an eye on Blaine anyway, but I mean anything else... If there’s anything else I can do.” 

[onefcrthepain]

I have a question...

When do you think was the last time this place cleaned the windows? I’m pretty sure there’re tongue stains from the last person to try and lick ‘em…. I’m only slightly joking.

I’m Oliver Knight for anyone I haven’t run into yet. I’d say it’s good to be here, but is there any point?

[calebfowell]

Oh, erm... they’re pretty hot on hygiene from what I can tell so I imagine not long ago. Oliver Knight... I’m going to throw it out there and say you’re new? It’s lovely to meet you. I’m Caleb.

[calebfowell]

Open FTF

[kodafitz]

Koda vocalized a “yeah” then guided Caleb’s arm around their own, then began walking. They fiddled with the hem of their sleeve as they walked, consciously looking around to make sure that nobody could eavesdrop. If anyone heard what they were going to tell him they’d be thrown in psych for sure; taken away from the things that made them feel.. anything. Once in his room they shut his door and guided him over to his bed, standing in front of him. “I-I-I-I’ve d-d-done a b-b-bad t-t-thing..”

[calebfowell]

By this point, Caleb was getting a little worried. Actually, more than a little. All he could think about was that Koda didn’t seem like their usual self and Caleb had no idea why. “A bad thing?” He asked, sitting down carefully before focusing his attention in the direction he was pretty sure his friend was standing.

[calebfowell]

Open FTF

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

Ryder thought it’d be a good idea but like most things he did, he didn’t fully think it through. “Just your favourite guy on the entire planet!” He chuckled. “It’s Ryder” He said as he moved his hands back to his sides. “Didn’t mean to sneak up on you or anything like that, man. I keep doing that, apparently.”

[calebfowell]

“Ryder?” Caleb responded, the relief clear in his voice. “No, no, it’s... it’s fine. I suppose I’m a little on the jumpy side today.” He chuckled softly, trying to work out where exactly the other was standing so he could face him properly. It was a habit he’d picked up to make people feel more comfortable when it came to talking to him in person. “What can I do for you?” 

[calebfowell]

Open FTF

[druggeduphunter]

Hunter sighed and shook his head. He understood why Caleb was so hesitant, but hesitance was the last thing he needed. “Caleb, I really need you to do this. I.. I can’t be around Blaine. For his safety and my own. It’s.. It’s not right.. I can’t..” He felt his breath start to pick up and he fisted his hand, pressing it hard against the wall. “It’s not a mistake. Please, just… For fuck’s sake, I’m not gonna beg but please do this without feeling sorry for yourself because you’re not me.”

[calebfowell]

Caleb didn’t need to see Hunter to know that the other was getting worked up. It was all in his voice. “That’s... not what I meant.” He answered softly and calmly. “I simply meant that... I can be there for him but I can’t promise that it’s going to be enough. If he still chases you there’s not much I can do about it.” He paused and took a breath. “But... I’ll try. Just so long as you sort out whatever it is you’re struggling with and you keep either me or him updated. You at least owe him an explanation”

[calebfowell]

Open FTF

[kodafitz]

They felt his hand in theirs and they sighed, squeezing their eyes shut. They didn’t want to tell him. They wanted to keep it a secret for as long as possible. But he deserved to know. He was the closest thing to a best friend they had– since her after all, and now she was back and things flipped upside down– he deserved to know what was going on. “I-I-I-I n-n-eed t-t-to t-t-te-ll y-y-you s-s-somet-t-hing..” They started, removing their hand from his. “C-c-c-ould w-w-e g-g-g-o t-t-to y-y-your r-r-r-oo-m?”

[calebfowell]

Caleb missed the feeling almost as soon as their hand had been moved but he didn’t comment on it, simply nodding in response to going to his room. Why he’d been craving physical contact recently was beyond his knowledge, but he was and he needed to do something about it... another time. “Of course. Lead the way?” He asked as politely as possible. He could work out his own way, of course, but it would make things faster for sure.

[calebfowell]

Open FTF

[gustxxssnarchive]

Blaine caught his bottom lip between his teeth, unsure of what to say. He wanted to point out how it was sort of hypocritical to avoid someone and claim to worry about them at the same time, but he decided to keep that thought to himself. He didn’t want to argue, didn’t want to be mad. “I’ve noticed. I haven’t seen you around much… or at all. I started thinking that maybe you’d gotten out,” he thought out loud. “A week is… interesting? I’ve had naps, or whatever. Just not… quality sleep. But it’s fine.”

[calebfowell]

“Sadly, no. I’m still as much of a prisoner here as anyone else.” Well, that wasn’t entirely true. With a good enough argument he could potentially get out if he wanted to, but he knew he needed the help. If not from here, then from somewhere. But he was comfortable here, give or take a few things. “You need to sleep properly. You can get sleep deprivation whether you’ve been having naps or not.” and considering he’d been told to keep an eye on Blaine, he supposed that would be a good place to start. “What’s been stopping you?”

[calebfowell]

Open FTF

[druggeduphunter]

“I’ve already pushed him away. I don’t think after what happened he’ll want to talk to me.” He explained, slipping his hands into the pockets of his jeans. This was awkward, he never accepted defeat but he didn’t want Blaine to get hurt. If that meant pushing someone he once disliked onto his friend.. then he’d do whatever it takes. “Please, Caleb. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he got hurt because of me.”

[calebfowell]

Caleb took a breath almost as though it would help him think straight again. Of course, it didn’t exactly help. “Blaine is a very forgiving and understanding person. If you apologised he’d be fine. Hell, he... is head over heels for you so I imagine he’d probably be fine without an apology too. Which is why, quite frankly, I think you’re making a mistake. But if you truly do need me to keep an eye on him, then I will. But I’m not you, Hunter. I’m not going to be you for him.” and wasn’t that just a painful thought. 

[calebfowell]

Open FTF

[kodafitz]

“N-n-n-pb-b-body? T-t-t-hat-t-’s w-w-eird.” They started, keeping their head against his back. It was comforting. “I-I-I uh, d-d-def-f-fine a-a-al-l-r-right-t?” They asked, chewing on their lip. They had kept a secret for a while; nobody else knew. But maybe they could trust Caleb enough to tell him. He had proven to be quite trustworthy, after all.

[calebfowell]

Caleb had to admit that although he’d never been hugged from behind like this before, he was definitely enjoying it. It was an odd feeling... a warm, nice one, but odd all the same. “Alright being you feel okay. That you could smile without any force behind it or someone having to make you laugh first... But by your answer, I’m going to assume you’re not alright and ask what’s happened?” He asked, gently slipping his fingers between Koda’s so he could squeeze their hand.

[calebfowell]

Open FTF

[gustxxssnarchive]

“Remember me?” Blaine prompted, as an answer to the question, forcing a small smile despite the fact that Caleb couldn’t see him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to spook you. I’m being strange. I haven’t slept in… a week?” He shook his head at himself, allowing him a few seconds to take in the sight of his friend before letting his hands fall to his sides. “I had to check if you were real or if I’m only imagining you, because I was starting to worry.” 

[calebfowell]

Caleb recognised the voice immediately, taking a breath to calm himself down as soon as he had. “A week? That’s... Blaine...” Caleb started, voice soft and filled with worry. Every single little part of him that had forced himself to distance in the past couple of weeks was screaming at him to stop this. To push Blaine away again but this guy was addictive in the best and worst ways. “You need sleep... I’m fine. I’m just... keeping to myself. Concerned about you.”

[calebfowell]

Open FTF

[druggeduphunter]

Hunter sighed softly, then glanced around to see if anyone was eavesdropping. “I… need a favor from you. My.. My father has been keeping an eye on me and..” He closed his eyes, letting out a breath. This was harder than he had thought. “and he doesn’t approve of Blaine. I can’t be around him.. I’m basically banned from seeing him so..” He reached out hesitantly, gently placing a hand on Caleb’s arm. “Can you please.. just.. keep an eye on him? Shit- that sounded wrong.. Fuck..” 

“Someone’s gotta be there for him.. and it can’t be me..”

[calebfowell]

Caleb should’ve known it was to do with Blaine. He’d thought he’d been doing a rather good job at removing himself from the other’s life so far, but apparently that wasn’t going to be the case for much longer... because as painful and heartbreaking as it was going to be, he knew he couldn’t leave Blaine alone if Hunter was skipping out on him. “So you’re essentially leaving him alone because daddy says so?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow slightly. “While I’m sure he appreciates what you’re trying to do, I’m not you. It’s not going to be enough for him.” 

[calebfowell]

Open FTF

[kodafitz]

They were never good with contact, touching and all that. Even on the streets contact was almost minimal unless they had to do it to get a meal that night. But they knew the moment they saw Caleb they wanted to hug him, so their hands moved from his arms to wrap around his waist (because they couldn’t exactly wrap their arms around his shoulders from behind) and pressed their face against his back. “I-i-i-t’s j-j-just m-m-me, K-k-ken-n-ai.”

[calebfowell]

Caleb immediately relaxed when he realised just who it was. His almost fearful frown twisted into a relieved, genuinely happy smile and the tension in his shoulders left. “Well, if it isn’t little bear.” He returned, his arms going to rest over where theirs were. “I probably should’ve known. No one else has come to see me... is everything alright?”