i say fuck your degree.

RYDER JONATHAN LYNN  18 || Football Player || Gamer Depression, Body Dysmorphia, PTSD, Self-Harm. "I guess this is where it all ends..."

[brokenkhummel]

Do you want me to read it to you?

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

And embarrassed in the process? I think I’m good, Kurt. I’m just mad at myself.

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

Nothing makes you feel worse when your brother sends you a letter to make me feel better and I can’t read most of it...

[ivyschu-blog]

Where do I even begin with this? Okay, so as some of you know I’ve dealt with mental health issues in the past… But, due to seeing something that hit very close to home, I got triggered into a relapse. It became really hard for me to keep working here, so I left for a couple weeks and tried being on an out-patient plan but it seems I need a lot more help than that…

So, what I’m trying to say is, I’m back! Just now I’m a fellow patient, rather than your nurse. If anyone needs me I’ll be hiding in my room.

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

Oh...well,welcome back Ivy. It must feel weird being on the other end of the job.

[druggeduphunter]

you’d think after being locked away in isolation for a few weeks I’d be a little more happy to see my bed. I’m not happy. Stupid nurses rearranged things again.. Stupid stupid stupi-

I need to breathe.

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

You know, if you wanna talk I’m here? But like, I still get the impression you don’t really like me soooo....you probably shouldn’t

[druggeduphunter]

With each day getting closer to Halloween I wonder how many childish people in here think it’s okay to dress up as something ridiculous and idiotic. You’re not twelve, you’re not in middle school anymore and as far as I know, there’s no reason to dress up. You’re just making everything sadder for everyone else.

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

Are you always this much of a mood killer or are you just very happy today? I’m assuming you never did Halloween? 

[loyal-lulu-blog]

In less than a month from now, it’s gonna be my one year anniversary of bein’ stuck in this fuckin’ place. I think there should be parties for that sort of thing. Not like it’s somethin’ to celebrate, but I know I’d feel better if there was a bouncy castle and some kind of gift presented to me at the end of this ridiculous year.

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

A year...that’s something.

[awhitelightermumu-blog]

Ah you see my good friend I have thought it be fun, but its nice to be around people.

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

That’s cool. What brings you to this place specifically?  Are you a good actor? 

[gustxxssnarchive]

I’m sorry to hear. Is there anything I can do to help?

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

I dunno. Take my mind of it? But I don’t know how you’re going to do that.

[lonerroderick-deactivated201709]

I’m sorry to hear that.. I would suggest talking to someone who would be of more help.. but I don’t think you want to talk to any of the therapists or staff members.. 

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

Yeah, probably not. Talking isn’t...I don’t know how to talk about my problems to other people. It’s normally people talking to me about theirs.

[grievingadam-blog]

Angry at yourself.. I know that feeling. Although most of the time I’m angry at the world. If I manage to feel anything at all. Anything but sadness, but I’d rather not feel anything than that.

Anyway, what are you angry at yourself for?

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

Thanks for understanding. That’s kind of how I’m feeling. You are a nice guy, Adam. I’d hate to see you sad.

I just try to do what’s best for the people and it backfires in my face. Bites me in the ass. Whatever. It makes me think the universe is out to get me.

[awhitelightermumu-blog]

Hello fellow thespians. Oh wait that isn’t right. I’m not a actor anymore. But have you missed this magnificent therapist, I am here to listen to your problems once again. You are my true fans, 

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

Not an actor anymore? Why’s that? You seem like you love it.

[brokenkhummel]

I don’t want to annoy you, but what happened?

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

I’m just tired of disappointing people,man.

[lonerroderick-deactivated201709]

I’m no therapist.. but is everything okay?

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

As much as I want to say yes and I’m great, dude. I’m really not okay.

[mackallen]

Hey, it’s Ryder, right? Ryder… I’m going to need you to take a breath for me… and try and tell me what’s happened?

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

I’m a shitty friend, that’s what happened. I don’t know how I can let this happen. I don’t break promises.

[fallenraebberry-deactivated2016]

Hello to you too, ray of sunshine, who pissed in your coffee?

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

The fact you said pissed in my coffee makes me think you couldn’t really give a shit. So, I wouldn’t. 

[calebfowell]

Open FTF

[calebfowell]

“Ryder?” Caleb responded, the relief clear in his voice. “No, no, it’s… it’s fine. I suppose I’m a little on the jumpy side today.” He chuckled softly, trying to work out where exactly the other was standing so he could face him properly. It was a habit he’d picked up to make people feel more comfortable when it came to talking to him in person. “What can I do for you?” 

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

“The only an only my very handsome friend!” He cheered as he spoke to him face to face as Caleb changed his possitioning. “Well, you aren’t busy are you? Because I’d really like to hang out with you. Do something. Just get to know you better because you are one of the few friends I have here.”

[grievingadam-blog]

Sorry… I’ll try to stay out of your way.

[ryderlonerlynn-blog]

It’s just a long story, sorry. Nothing to do with you,man. Promise. I’m just so angry. Kinda pissed at myself too.