Trying to take control of what I can, beginning with my emotions. As a woman, having sex with a man comes with a price, moreso for him. Thatās just how it goes. Iām beginning to really ask myself what he can do for me. You say you donāt want a girlfriend at the moment so what exactly am I doing in this picture? I find myself floating around and accepting these situations because when I really ask myself if Iām ready for a relationship or even truly want one I realize I donāt know. Does that excuse me continuing to see this man? I think itās okay to have fun but Iām not really built for casual relationships as someone whoās naturally very romantic and passionate. I enjoy dedicating myself to one person. But it doesnāt seem sustainable long term to do this. And I donāt exactly want to let you go. I think I like the idea* of being in a relationship vs the actual work that comes with one. I think this month will tell a lot. Weāre going to have less conflicting work schedules and honestly Iām really sad he hasnāt taken initiative to take me on a real date. I work so, so hard. I really deserve so much. And I shouldnāt settle. But I canāt tell you how many times Iāve cried from feeling so lonely. Iām in my last year of my 20ās, of course Iāve enjoyed being single. But Iām really craving another human being and that closeness at this point of my life. I want to be adored, respected, spoiled, loved. I want to get better at giving this to myself. Itās not that Iām expecting to be saved. I just want you to be that for me. But I canāt force things. And I need to mentally prepare for life to just do what it does. Crazy to think in general people are only here for seasons.
stormborns
origamiaround
titsay
ellievsbear
snowghoul
dededos
prguitarman
