Caption: [Okay yeah I got that. So from me, as a transfeminine nonbinary person, I’m not a man. Nothing about me, I’m just not a man. It just never happened. I was too young to become a man when I started transitioning and being nonbinary. I just never have become a man, I never was a man.
However, I learned how to be myself by watching and being a gay boy. That was who I was. Gender nonconformity, the first way I found access to that was by being a gay boy. And none of you are going to take that away from me.
I feel like there is a deep part of me that is still that, like gay boy who I used to be. There is a big part of me that’s why I really love the word faggot even though I’m not a gay man. But I’m transfeminine and I’m nonbinary. And that was- and is in a lot of ways because it’s still me.
I can’t just erase my old me. I'm still- I've got parts of that still that built me and I’ve built upon it and morphed and changed growing away and off of that. And so yeah, there’s no part of me that is referencing, like straightness when it comes to my own like femininity.
And like my femininity and how I learned to be like transfeminine comes from trans women, it comes from queer women, lesbians, femmes. It comes from drag queens. I learned how to be a woman more from drag performers more than I did from my own mom in a lot of ways, right? From gay men’s femininity is my femininity.
Like, whatever semblance of womanhood I have I’ve pieced together from queer men, queer women, queer people beyond the binary. Its... it's... womanhood and these identities don’t belong to any one group. No group is a monolith and- I don’t know, if you are a trans man and lesbianism was a big part of your life and who you were first and it’s formative. Like, I don’t know why you wouldn’t be able to claim that.
You have been that, you were that. It's- same with me. I love the word- I love the f-slur, I love the word fag. Because for me, it's who I was and I'm not going to relinquish that. Even though I'm no longer a man, I'm not a gay man.
I am a transfeminine person who... is of fag experience if you will. Like, yeah. So I'd say its more complicated. Queer relationships to gender and sexuality are far more complicated than words could ever account for.
And if you are going around policing queer people on gendered terminology and... and sexual labels, all these things, maybe consider if you are- have some internalized transphobia and heteronormitivity going on there. I think, yeah. Anyways have a great day.]
NOTE: The original video was by @/owynwade where basically he was talking about how he felt that his attraction/relationships with women were different than cis het men's due to having experiences that related more with queer women and why he feels some connection/relationship with the label lesbian (now no longer uses that label).
Obviously all trans people have a different experience with labels and identity and there are some who will have no connection to certain gendered words while others may feel differently.
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