Sugarbabies and Unprotected Sex: (how to insist on a condom)
I’m sure you’ve been faced with the scenario and if you haven’t I can bet you know someone who has.
Scenario: You’re starting to get closer with your SD/boyfriend and he wants to become intimate. But there’s a problem, he wants to have unprotected sex. You don’t feel comfortable with this and he may be pressuring you or you may simply feel like you will lose your connection/allowance if you do not become intimate with him.
I’ve been in this situation myself. I was 3 months into my relationship with my first sugardaddy and he brought up the topic of intimacy. I adored him as much as he adored me and my comfort was of the upmost importance to him, but he explained to me how he had this deep rooted desire to go ‘raw’ (bareback, condom less, naked) with his partners. This freaked the heck out of me as he was a very experienced sugar daddy and he had disclosed how many sexual partners he had had. He tried everything to convince me, like saying ‘his dick was too curved to sit well in a condom’ … sigh … ‘he was allergic to latex’ …again, *sigh* …to downright just saying ‘it kills the intimacy and just doesn't feel the same’.
Now when I think back to this time, I feel like gagging in disgust but at the time I was new to the sugar bowl, this was the first man to really treat me like I deserved (minus the whole sex thing) and I was so conflicted internally that it stressed me out on a daily basis. After a week of persistence I made my daddy aware that I was afraid I would catch an STD given his number of partners in the past. He could tell that I was really bothered about this so he suggested that he get tested, to show me everything was okay. I’ll tell you what happened at the end of this blog.***
I’m always suspicious of men who are so quick to go without a condom. I’m a bit of a condom manic (I literally have about 50 condoms in my room and keep at least three in my handbag when I go on POT/SD/Vanilla dates) so I never want to put the trust of my sexual wellbeing in someone else’s hands. I like to take responsibility for my own sexual health.
Of course people have different views on this, i.e. if they are in a committed relationship, if a woman is using contraception and her partner trusts her, he may decide to stop using protection himself.
But as a sugarbaby, I’d be suspicious of a man, who, not knowing you all that well, or who is not exclusive with you (i.e. he has a wife or your relationship is NSA) is willing to say he doesn’t want to use a condom. If I was these men, I would be driven by so much flippin fear, that I wouldn’t even consider such a thing.
Ask yourself why this man is so willing to not use a condom, as that to me just suggests bad judgement and a lack of concern for their health.
The second thing I would think about is, if he really doesn’t want to use a condom (fair enough, everyone is entitled to their own preferences when it comes to sex), what are your requirements for him not to use condom?
For me, the man would have to be in an exclusive relationship with me and be getting tested monthly for me to even consider going there with him. But let’s be realistic here. For men, it really sucks to get tested. A lot of men find it unpleasant to have the swab put in their penis (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, just google it) therefore, I know the probability of me finding a sugar daddy that is willing to get tested on a monthly basis is very, very low.
The final thing I consider is trust. Do you trust this man enough to believe that he is not having any other sexual partners? Girls, if you sugardaddy is married, do not trust him! No matter what, you need to always have your guard up. If he can cheat on his wife, what makes you think he won’t lie to you?
After reading the three points above, the majority of you will have decided (if you had not already seen the light) that you do not want to have unprotected sex.
So here’s how to broach the subject with your man.
“ I know it would feel wonderful and intimate to be able to connect with you in such a way but I really have to value myself and my health. I’m not saying that I don’t trust you (ahem..lies) it’s just that things happen and I can’t put my health in somebody else’s hands.” When you are saying this, make sure you put an emphasis on how you value the things he does for you and your connection but you value your health first. You cannot make compromises like this for any man just because he supports your lifestyle.
When not to bring this up: just before the act. Because the truth is when someone is horny, you are likely to get the least honest answer. But this doesn’t mean that you have to do it in a very serious manner either. I mean, I don’t want you going out to diner to discuss STD’s.
Ladies, a man will respect you more when you stand your ground in a classy way. A man will not value you if you cave into his outrageous demands just to build rapport with him or to keep your monthly allowance in check
And if he is scared off or stops your allowances because you refuse to have unsafe sex with him, then count your lucky stars that you got out of that relationship/ arrangement sooner rather than later. There are better men out there that will show a lot more understanding.
***What happened in the end… As some of you know I’m going to be a doctor in the future, so I started doing my research on STD’s such as herpes, gonorrhoea, HIV, genital warts.. you name it, I know the signs and symptoms. So once I learned about this, the pussy basically went on lockdown.
*I ended the relationship with this SD a few months later and I’m so happy didn’t lose my virginity to him. A blog post on being a virgin in the bowl is coming soon, so be on the lookout.
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