American Jedi

Sam Evans Hey! I'm Sam Evans and I'm 20 years old studying Game Design at Easthaven in Easthaven, Ohio! You might see me around, singing alongside the New Directions or tossing a football around with the football team!

[thesebastiansmythe-blog1]

Halloween being a couple weeks away is no excuse. But anyway, you’re in luck, because I’ve found a party and have been instructed to invite anyone and everyone I deem worthy. And a pretty face like yours is definitely welcome anywhere I am.

Save it, Blondie. I’ve heard the little siblings excuse before. You can admit you just want the candy and they’re your cover-up.

[callmesamiam-blog]

You did? Awesome! Where is the party and who is throwing it? A pretty face like mine? Oh! I am not gay. But I like gay people. Like my roommate.  In fact I consider myself a gay rights advertiser? Adventurist? ...ADVOCATE! That’s the word I was looking for. And it’s not that I don’t think you’re a pretty guy. I mean, you are and I can appreciate other dudes being pretty and I’m just going to shut up now...

It’s no excuse! Scout’s honor! I can’t afford to eat candy. It goes straight to my abs and makes them non abs and then what do I have? No abs! 

[grcnadine-deactivated20170604]

Ugh. Don’t get me started on those evil clown sightings that have been spreading like absolute madness, it would seem. I’m fearful to even glance near my dorm window at night in fear that one of them will have their overly painted faces staring directly into my soul. I’m not about that life. Though I don’t intend on even letting them get in the way of my plans. A busy life stops for no one. Not even evil clowns – a conversation I never thought I would be having. 

[callmesamiam-blog]

You’re scared of the evil clowns too, huh? I’m not so much worried about them as I am worried about the good clowns getting bad press for what the evil ones are doing right now. Which I’m not really sure what they’re even doing other than standing around and looking like they’re up to no good. Which I’m used to, because that was a common thing in the town I grew up...except people didn’t wear clown make up...

That’s a good attitude to have, Rachel! If you ever have an evil clown run in of your own, feel free to call me and I’ll come be your knight if shining armor! Not that you couldn’t handle your own or anything. I just think it’d be cool to be a knight. And you’re my friend.

[submissivelyava]

You’re Blaine’s roommate? Huh, never knew that! Although it definitely sounds like it works, especially with the mentions of candy and football and all (you better bring me some of that candy by the way!) Sam, come on..no offense, but it’d be impossible for you to not fit in your costume and look fantastic, so you don’t exactly have much to worry about. 

…Will you rescind your walk agreement if I tell you I don’t understand the reference at all? Because sorry but..I never really got into the Star Wars movies. I watched parts of one with my dad once because Hayden Christensen wasn’t bad to look at but..that’s about it. 

[callmesamiam-blog]

I am and it’s always a good time at Hero Hangout with Blam! That’s what Blaine and I call our apartment. Cool, right? I’ll let you in on a little secret...it’s because we have secret, superhero identities. I’ll bring you whatever candy Blaine doesn’t get his hands on, but don’t be too hopeful! He’s a garbage disposal! I don’t know where he puts it all! Thanks, Kurt! You really think so? Will you be dressing up for Halloween this year? I mean, you gotta! It’s Halloween!

Whoa! Really? I’d still go on a walk with you if you don’t mind me teaching you all things Star Wars and George Lucas! Hayden Christensen was a good choice for Anakin Skywalker and he’s not a bad looking dude so I guess I can’t blame ya. 

[vampirejeffarchive-deactivated2]

There’s got to be a way to tell the difference. If not by their makeup, because judging by their looks its probably wrong, maybe at least some sort of written clown test. Or we’ll get Buzzfeed to make one — ‘what’s your inner clown moral alignment?’ I mean, I’m sure you could get certified if your heart is really in it. But in my personal opinion? You’d totally be better off starting out slow and petitioning for clown rights first.  Get the message out there. Rome wasn’t build in a day, dude.

[callmesamiam-blog]

Maybe the evil clowns are actually just nice clowns trying to get in the spirit for Halloween...Since Halloween is supposed to be all about what’s scary rather than what isn’t and nice clowns aren’t scary. I don’t know, man...I’m not sure actual evil clowns would want to sit down and take a test. I’m not evil or a clown and I don’t even like taking tests. A petition? Huh! That just might work. There could be just enough time before Halloween to save the good clowns of the world. Good thinking! I’m Sam by the way! I don’t think we’ve met?

[blaineateasthaven]

All clowns are more than a little scary if you ask me… though I do agree that the good clowns don’t deserve to be hurt just for dressing like clowns. Then again, I suppose you can probably tell the difference, and if someone who looks like a good clown scares a person enough for them to feel they have to defend themselves through hurting them, they may not be such a good clown after all? Besides, with all of the evil clown sightings and incidents, I’m not sure many people will be dressing up as good clowns for Halloween this year. Regardless, as your best friend I have to ask you to please not try to approach any of the clowns, especially on Halloween, even if you’re trying to help. I, for one, do not trust them and I think it’s likely there’ll be a large number of the evil ones.

[callmesamiam-blog]

Hey! Didn’t your mom teach you never to judge a book by its cover? Maybe some of the evil clowns are misunderstood or something and aren’t evil but just look evil. What’s it my mom used to say? Something like beauty is in the eye of the boulder? This whole thing is a mess that is going to terrorize Clowntopia and its people! And just in time for Halloween. It’s a bummer if ya ask me. Because it’s not just people who are dressing up as clowns for Halloween, there are actual clowns who do it for a living and they could lose their jobs over this and you don’t think that’s sad? Imagine all the clownless birthday parties! I’ll try my best to avoid the clowns this Halloween but you know me, I like to help people and clowns alike. And if anything does happen, I’ll have my lightsaber ready to go! Vwoom ~ Vwoom! Those are lightsaber noises if you didn’t know...but you should, young Padawan.

[callmesamiam-blog]

With all the evil clown sightings I’ve read about online, I am worried for the safety of the nice clowns in the world come Halloween. What if someone mistakes a good clown for a bad clown and he gets hurt? Guys, I’m not sure if Halloween is a good idea right now...especially for the good clowns. And good clowns are cool. My lil brother Stevie had one at his birthday party when he was 7 and he could do a lot of cool things like balloon animals and make ink disappear like magic. I don't know what I could do to help. Maybe start an adopt a good clown program? But I’m not sure if I’m even certified to do that...

[callmesamiam-blog]

easthavensmythe:

So thinking of Halloween costumes is all fine and dandy, but the real question is where exactly I’m going to need to wear it? Clearly trick-or-treating is not an option — at least, not a sensible one once you’re over the age of twelve. Which is why I’m hoping at least someone around here is planning some sort of party where I can drink and most likely get laid, and get to wear a costume I’ll probably spend way too much time getting together. So, what’s the plan for the 31st, Easthaven? Don’t fail me now.

I haven’t heard of any parties just yet but that could be because Halloween is still a couple weeks away. Which seems weird when stores are already stocking Christmas stuff, which I always find stange...everybody knows that Halloween is the coolest day of the year and no other holiday can compete. Anyway -- if I hear of anything cool, if you want, I can let you now, but I’ll be out trick-or-treating. Not because I’m stuck in some paradox where I’m 12 or anything but because I usually take my lil bro and lil sis Stevie and Stacey out to do it. 

[submissivelyava]

There’s nothing better than digging out your boots and scarves and going for a nice walk around campus. The wind is blowing and the leaves are changing color and everything is just vibrant. I might seriously spend the rest of the day outside so if anyone’s bored and wants to go for a walk or something, I’d always welcome the company.

[callmesamiam-blog]

Kurt! Hey! I would love to join you for a walk on campus. My roomie Blaine has really embraced the Halloween spirit, which is cool and all but there’s tons of candy at our place and I’m afraid if I’m around it too long, I’ll get the calories whether I eat any or not and that wouldn’t be cool if I’m trying to stay on top of my game for football season! Plus, I want to be able to fit into my Luke Skywalker costume come Halloween so I can defend the galaxy against Darth Vader and other intergalactic enemies! Save me, Kurt Hummel, you’re my only hope! Save me, Kurt Hummel, you’re my only hope! You know! From Stars Wars Episode IV.