Stunt-Show Reporting In

Former Harrison Armory Stunt pilot. Now exceptionally handsome mercenary and CEO of the Shooting Star Private military company. You want air superiority established? I’m your huckleberry. ((Independent roleplay blog for lancer character. Mun is @skullman2033

[callsign-stuntshow]

“Fucking Horus tech messing up my Omni-net connection. Alright. Open broadcast this is Callsign Stuntshow. Setting up friendly ident to all nearby pilots. I repeat. Flashing friendly identification to all nearby pilots. How copy?”

Independent Lancer roleplay account.

Mun is 28. With several years of roleplay experience

Early thirties muse. He/him

Formerly a Stunt Pilot and celebrity under contract with Harrison armory. Cancelled his contract after a fight with another pilot caused by them saying he wouldn’t last five seconds in real combat.

Not a real blonde. He had it dyed for his work.

Extremely arrogant. Flies as close to analogue as possible.

Basically Johnny Cage in a mecha. Self absorbed, arrogant Jerk. Trash talks his enemies constantly. Still a good guy

Currently Pilots a GMS Everest Flight pattern, called “Wild Blue Yonder.” Seen here.

[cmdr-noah-colorado-reed]

One of the worst sins of HA is reinventing Gacha Games. They were dead for ten thousand years, why is the sexism casino back?!

[callsign-stuntshow]

<<On one hand. I had BETTER be UR+. On the other hand. If I AM in the Gacha. HA is probably using one of the facsimile flash clones of me they have.>>

<<And that means you won’t have me with you. So then you’re just worth SR at best..>>

[callsign-stuntshow]

<<So THIS is what you’ve been hiding from me!>>

<<Not hiding. Just didn’t think you’d care to type copilot on my blog.>>

<<Nonsense! What kind of agent would I be if I wasn’t optimizing fan engagement to the best of my masterful abilities?>>

<<Oh bull. You just wanna bask in my spotlight too.>>

<<Also true. It’s where people like us belong after all!>>

<<Well Mai. The floor is yours. Introduce yourself to the crowd.>>

<<Of course, boss.>>

<<Greetings Omni-Net. I am TLALOC-CLASS NHP Designation Mai Agent. Weapons System Operator and general assistant to the owner of this blog. I look forward to seeing all of you be blinded by our combined Star-power!>>

[pissfuckhorus]

1 TH1NK IM STARV1NG 2 DEATH

I WAS R3ALLY H0PING THAT THER3E W0LD BE C00L HALUCINTINZ

BUT M0STLY ITS JUST ST0MACH HURTING AND TIR3D

B0R9MG

[onehellofavulture]

>// I leave for just a couple of days to focus on finishing the training of the new guys and what do I return to?

>// Apparently Styx can shrink now

>// Colorado is going fully into the body mods

>// You are lost and starving

>// Photon lost Omninet connection and is only now getting back

>// Ilfrith is being Ilfrith

>// And I am pretty sure I saw a post floating about regarding HA Yuri, which…..

>// Based

>// But that’s besides the point

>// What happened, why is everything so chaotic right now?

>// Why does everything interesting happen when I am not here to comment on it?

Callsign:VULTURE

[cmdr-noah-colorado-reed]

HA Yuri? What about Horus Yaoi or IPS-N Bara (and the lesbian equivalent)

SSC has hetero vibes.

[onehellofavulture]

>// HA Yuri, Horus Yaoi, IPS-N Bara, while SSC is hetero?

>// Yeah, Sure I’ll incorporate all that into my view of those groups

Callsign:VULTURE

[callsign-stuntshow]

<<I can almost feel frown lines growing micrometers on Harrison III’s Face grow every time someone says “HA Yuri.”>>

<<Needless to say. All the more reason to keep the phrase circulating.>>

<<SSC Hetero seems too simple though.>>

<<We’d need something more snappy and marketable than “Eyes wide shut” levels of freak.”>>

[callsign-stuntshow]

Ooc post for yapping purposes. I wanted to loredump about Collelo in the form of Miscellaneous fun facts.

His full name is Kevin Vincenzo Collelo.

Back when he worked for Harrison Armory. Part of his contract said that should he end his service early. HA would still hold the rights to use his likeness for propaganda purposes for a period of time. Somewhere there are flash clones impersonating him, He knows this, and intends to kill them all.

He also Dyed his hair blonde. And still continues to do so even though he could simply get it changed. If asked, he’ll say that looking as good as he does NEEDS to take effort. In reality it’s because he’s genuinely terrified of genetic modification. Like in a “scared of needles” kind of deal

He has blue eyes. Really bright, vibrant. Downright beautiful blue eyes. He absolutely hates them. And covers them with his aviator shades. In his words it’s because they make him look like a baby

He tries way too hard to be a good boss to those who work for Shooting Star PMC. He’s angling for that “Best Boss ever” Mug and by RA he will have it.

Smokes Cannabis Cigars. He has a specific pocket for a scent-proof holder in his jacket for them.

Doesn’t drink alcohol. DOES drink inordinate amounts of soda though. Preferring local craft brands of whatever system he’s in at the time. (He likes collecting the bottle caps.)

[onehellofavulture]

{//Trainees//}

>// I would hardly say I am an ‘elite pilot’

>// Even though I am called a Lancer a lot of the time

>// I specialize in tracking and capture as well as area lock down

>// Hands of Hounds PMC pays me well, even if I dislike my Contractor

>// After returning from my most recent leave, they wanted to put my assignment as prison guard on hold for a bit

>// So they could…. Put me on Training detail

>// Because despite advertising their ‘surplus of lancers’

>// There wasn’t a single other fucker capable of training these rookies with stars in their eyes and dreams of making it big as mercenaries

>// However,

>// And mean so so so politely,

>// THEY ARE SO FUCKING STUPID

>// ALL OF MY TRAINEES ARE MORONS

>// YOU DON’T NEED TO CALL OUT YOUR ‘MOVES’

>// CLOSE YOUR COMMS, YOU DON’T NEED TO TALK TO THE ENEMIES

>// AUGH

Callsign:VULTURE

[callsign-stuntshow]

<<“Dont Call out your attacks”>>

<<“Don’t shit-talk the enemies over comms”>>

[onehellofavulture]

>// Callsign is ‘stuntshow’

>// wants to shit talk and show off

>//…

>// Checks out

>// But my thing is they aren’t lancers, just pilots

>// If you are a lancer, eh, I’m sure you are skilled enough to get fancy with it

Callsign:VULTURE

[callsign-stuntshow]

<<Oh well that changes things.>>

<<Yeah if they REALLY aint earned their stripes then they gotta keep their traps shut. Open Comms is adult swim>>

<<And I mean ACTUALLY earned their stripes. Not just top of their class at some academy.>>

[onehellofavulture]

{//Trainees//}

>// I would hardly say I am an ‘elite pilot’

>// Even though I am called a Lancer a lot of the time

>// I specialize in tracking and capture as well as area lock down

>// Hands of Hounds PMC pays me well, even if I dislike my Contractor

>// After returning from my most recent leave, they wanted to put my assignment as prison guard on hold for a bit

>// So they could…. Put me on Training detail

>// Because despite advertising their ‘surplus of lancers’

>// There wasn’t a single other fucker capable of training these rookies with stars in their eyes and dreams of making it big as mercenaries

>// However,

>// And mean so so so politely,

>// THEY ARE SO FUCKING STUPID

>// ALL OF MY TRAINEES ARE MORONS

>// YOU DON’T NEED TO CALL OUT YOUR ‘MOVES’

>// CLOSE YOUR COMMS, YOU DON’T NEED TO TALK TO THE ENEMIES

>// AUGH

Callsign:VULTURE

[callsign-stuntshow]

<<“Dont Call out your attacks”>>

<<“Don’t shit-talk the enemies over comms”>>

[onehellofavulture]

{//Song//}

>// Which Pre-Fall Song would you use to describe yourself

>// This totally isn’t an excuse to get more pre-fall music without going through 100 different archives

>// Personally, the song I chose is ‘No Culture’ By Mother Mother

>// And not just because one of the lyrics is ‘I am A Vulture’ lol

Callsign:VULTURE

[callsign-stuntshow]

<<I have a whole ass playlist>>

Collelo's Ego.

Collelo's Ego.

[callsign-stuntshow]

<<A fun thing about missiles is that their guidance systems all use advanced 360• cameras. These cameras all send back live data to the chassis black box. I can then go through those files and take screenshots out of them.>>

<<End result is this lovely shot of My Everest. The Wild Blue Yonder.>>

((I made Stuntshows Everest using the customization mode in Gundam Breakers 4))

[dawn-will-break]

What do you think of IPS-N mechs?

This is less nice to come back to...

I feel like I'm being trolled being asked this specifically cause I've made my opinions on IPS-N pretty clear.

Buuuuuuuut dunking on them isn't something I'll refuse so sure let's do this.

Starting by... Oh gods great the fucking Blackbeard...

This? One of the reasons I hate this stupid corpro state. "Oh yeah guys we've made an anti piracy mech isn't it great?"

Then why the fuck is your "anti piracy" mech named after the most famous pre-fall pirate? Why is it so good at piracy, y'know, the one thing you said it was gonna help prevent?

Pure hypocrisy disguised as good intentions. 0/10 hate it.

OK next up, the Drake.

I... Actually kinda like the Drake.

I mean it's not at all my style, I would hate piloting this, but it's honest and I can respect that.

It's got a big gun and a big shield and it doesn't pretend to be anything more than a big wall of metal.

It does help that the Drake pilots I've met IRL or online are very nice people, so bonus points on that. Pretty firm 8/10 no dislike here from me.

After this it's the Lancaster!

It's a support and I think you have to be heartless to not appreciate someone who's willing to risk their life for you, so I can't dislike it.

I guess I would probably appreciate it a lot more if I was teammates with someone who used it, but since I don't it's gonna stay at a 7/10 for me.

Next up, Nelson!

Same thing as for the Lancaster, but you'd have to be heartless to dislike the Albatross.

I can also 100% understand the need to zoom around the field, so the whole concept gets the Photon seal of approval, which is worth like... I'll buy you some tea if we ever meet?

Anyways I like it a lot, 9/10.

After this it's the Raleigh.

I... I respect the Raleigh.

Being a massive commercial failure for IPS-N doesn't make it bad, and I think people tend to forget that.

I've met a Raleigh on a mission, and I like everyone else thought it was going to be pretty easy to ignore. I mean it reloads half the time right? No biggie.

But that chest cannon it has pretty much invalidates that whole claim, cause sure it's reloading the others guns, but that one is ready to fire.

I managed to bait it into full sending everything, and after that yeah it was pretty much how I originally expected it to be.

Sooooooo, 5/10 I suppose? It's got my respect at least.

Next up, Tortuga.

I don't like the idea of the Tortuga.

Granted, never met one (THANKFULLY), but something about a mech made to block hallways in ships to prevent anyone from escaping resonates very very badly for me.

It just seems made to massacre people trying to flee. 3/10.

I feel like the quality is going down, cause next up is the Vlad.

Like really, what the hell is this?

It looks like you asked a child what would make a mech scary and intimidating and they said "oh just add a bunch of spikes!" and you did just that.

I mean never met one, maybe it's an absolute monster on the field, but it looks stupid, 1/10.

We're finishing this with a big one, the Caliban.

If you pilot this, or were involved in designing this thing, I hate you and hope your soul burns in every single version of eternal torment we as a species have imagined since the dawn of time.

I want you in Hell, in Tartarus, in the Duat, if we wanna get local I want your soul to be struck by the Curse of Wandering and spend eternity in the Ifnir Deadlands.

I hate you.

-10000000000/10.

[quixote-ngc]

I suppose now would be a bad time to mention I have a Caliban license?

It isn't my primary, I mostly requested the license so I could slap some Rapid Maneuver Jets on my Nelson, but I have piloted it and have worked alongside people who have piloted it. Its reputation as a murder machine is undeserved.

Was it designed specifically to kill people? Yes. But so is everything else.

The Genghis isn't a portable heating unit. The Monarch doesn't launch care packages for orphans. The Everest didn't become the galactic default because it's a humane way of deescalating problems, it became the default because it is good at dishing out every possible kind of violence in almost every possible scenario.

Caliban is an aggressive, scary little bastard with a big gun, but let's not moralize like it's some kind of walking war crime. It doesn't set people on fire. It doesn't eat people alive with nanites or pull them apart with magnets. It won't go feral and start attacking everything in reach. It can't melt your brain with memetics or throw you into an alternate dimension.

As for the rest...

Vlad is actually another popular Albatross frame. I admit the spikes aren't appealing, but they weren't included as a fashion choice. Vlad is an upgrade to the Yi-Sun-Shin, which was itself based on converted mining units. That's why most of the kit is based around spikes and drills: IPS-N took what people were already using and just upgraded it to mil-spec.

Tortuga is designed to block corridors during boarding actions, but not to cut off retreat. It's way too slow for that. The point is for the Tortuga to act as a shield and barricade for the squashy marines and support frames coming behind it. It's a guardian, not a pursuer.

Blackbeard...

Look. It's an unfortunate truth that anything good at anti-pirate boarding operation is also going to be good at pirate boarding operation. Pirates specialize in stealing things, and they tend to go out of their way to steal things that are be good for piracy. Things like the Blackbeard. As someone who was nearly killed by a stolen Blackbeard, I can promise that we don't like it any more than you do.

I agree that the entire marketing team should have been fired though, preferably into deep space. Have you seen the original blurb for Sekhmet? Holy shit!

[dawn-will-break]

Rad has censored the start of your answer under the pretense that it would be better for all of us,

IT REALLY IS.

so I can't respond to anything specific there, though I do have my suspicions... But I kinda disagree with your point.

I know we're not really innocent, we do pilot things that were originally made with the full intent of killing people and of commiting violence, but we're not limited to just doing that.

An Everest or a Monarch could be used for something that doesn't involve killing people (don't ask me what because I don't know, but they certainly could.) Does that fundamentally change that they're made for war? No! Are they incapable of doing something more peaceful? Also no!

But what could a Caliban do that isn't "kill more people"? That also applies for the Genghis, what else could it do that isn't "burn stuff"?

Because that's why I dislike it so much. There's nothing else it could ever do that isn't more violence, more death, more pain.

And can we really say something is OK because something else could kill you in a worse way? Sure I'm not being eaten alive by nanites, doesn't help the fact I'm now a bloody stain on the wall.

Anyways apart from that...

I didn't know about Vlad being popular with the Albatross? That's uh, interesting I suppose? My opinion still is that it looks dumb and that a child trying to be too edgy could have made it though.

And my point for Tortuga was more that I don't like the idea that it could gun down someone on foot that's just trying to flee. Maybe it's never used and like that and I had the wrong image in my head, but the fact that's the first thing that came to mind still isn't a great sign in my opinion.

At least I'm glad we can both agree the Blackbeard is an asshole. I didn't even think about Sekhmet when writing that and just...

Ew. New score for Blackbeard, -10/10.

[quixote-ngc]

With respect, it sounds like the problem you (and many other people) have with the Caliban isn't that it's optimized for violence. It's that the Caliban doesn't bother to pretend it isn't.

I could go on to explain the Yenanova Problem, list the history of the frame, give examples of how it gets used, draw comparisons with other frames, but...

Look.

If you started this by saying that you hate the Caliban because it's an ugly, aggressive little bastard of a frame, I'd probably have agreed with you. We all have favorites/unfavorites, and the Caliban is an ugly, aggressive little bastard. But that's not the same thing as saying "Anyone who designed and/or pilots the Caliban should rot in the nearest available Underworld."

That kind of black and white bullshit is the sort of thing that does worse than get you killed: it gets other people killed.

If you're working a rescue op with a team of other pilots, and one of them pilots a Caliban, would you trust them? With your life? With the lives of the people you're trying to save? Would you be ready and able to best leverage the Caliban's weapons and abilities to help complete your mission?

Or would you conclude that only a psycho would willingly pilot a Caliban, and act accordingly?

[dawn-will-break]

...

CHILD IF THIS IS GETTING YOU IN SUCH A FOUL MOOD I WILL DISCONNECT YOU FROM THE OMNINET.

Nono I'm fine... I'm just trying my best not to turn this into a screaming match.

UH HUH.

Oh shut up...

Anywaysssssss... I don't even know why I bother because I feel like you're misinterpreting what I mean on purpose.

Honestly, if you can tell me what the hell can a Caliban do that isn't just blowing people into bloodstains, consider me impressed. Challenge also extends to the Genghis.

I'm gonna drop that argument because that last point just annoyed me more.

Remember this? Your words not mine.

So instead I'm asking you, did you trust that Caliban pilot?

With your life?

With the lives of the people you're trying to save?

Because I wouldn't.

[quixote-ngc]

If we're going to quote each other, I'd like to point out that you were the one who insisted that frames like the Everest and Monarch had civilian applications despite openly admitting that you couldn't think of what those applications might actually be.

Still, I'll play along.

The Genghis has an obvious civilian application: firefighting. It's completely fireproof, and the license comes with a variety of useful chemical throwers. Replace the incendiaries with fire retardants or water cannons and the Genghis is an amazing firefighter. It's also great at deforestation, because officially that was its original purpose. It was supposed to use fire and chemicals to quickly clear thick jungles.

As for Caliban, why not an asteroid miner or ship breaker? It's small, so it can fit through gaps, and it has optional jets for null gravity maneuvers. It's designed to carry swords and cannons larger than it is, so take away the shotguns and give it a mining drill. Or keep the shotguns and use them to blast in mining spikes or blow apart structural supports.

Moving to the sadist I mentioned earlier, you're mixing up cause and effect.

The Caliban has a reputation (deserved or not) as a murder machine. That makes it very attractive to the sort of psychos who want to murder people. This creates a cycle: the Caliban has a violent reputation -> violent people seek it out -> they commit acts of violence with their Calibans -> the Caliban gets an even more violent reputation.

You can see the same thing happen with the Blackbeard, White Witch, Balor, Enkidu, etc.

My problem wasn't that this asshole picked a Caliban. It's that he was a sadist who picked it because he thought it would be fun to shoot people with a howitzer at point blank range. It's actually a good thing he picked a Caliban: if that psycho had gone Tortuga and gotten his hands on a Daisycutter he'd likely have misted half our marine contingent with friendly fire.

Focus less on the Frame and more on who's inside it.

My central point, however, is that being designed for violence isn't unique or even a bad thing.

The Metalmark is an invisible assassin. The Sherman is a walking laser cannon. Do you think SSC and HA designed those frames with non-lethal applications in mind? Do you think the Dusk Wing's burst launchers are there to put on firework shows?

I'm a combat pilot, and presumably you are too. When I kick in a door full of people that want to do incredible violence to me and my friends, it doesn't matter if the Frame I'm driving can't be used to build homes or dig a well, because that's not what I need it to do. I don't need a medical transport or a hazard disposal unit or something that wins Pankrati matches. I need something that will stack bodies like fucking cordwood.

If you want a frame that can build, get a construction mech. If you want something that can look cool and put on a show, go talk to @callsign-stuntshow. But if you're going into combat and you need something that can kill the other guy before they kill you, there's nothing wrong with a Frame designed to do exactly that.

[callsign-stuntshow]

<<I’m a mercenary and worked for the armory BEFORE THAT so I don’t feel I truly have any right to weigh in on whatever you’re all talking about. But thank you for acknowledging me as the expert in Fancy Flight that i am.>>

[kazsartcorner]

A standard issue IPS-Northstar Cream soda ration for crew, cheap to print and brew, easy to find in any IPS-N affiliated store or vending machine.

[callsign-stuntshow]

<<I prefer my sodas to be local craft. But these are still good.>>

[skullman2033]

Is this anything? I feel like this should be something and it would be sick as hell.

[ch4r4d3-scheherazade]

v// i was nearly eaten alive by worms today.

v// Can't say i recommend it.

v// However

v// I have my husband back. I don't think my body's caught up yet, but I can feel the tears behind my eyes.

v// No one is getting out of this alive. I will not allow useless pirates who should have died like the roaches they are to touch the things I have to live for.

[callsign-stuntshow]

<<glad for you, but also How the fuck did “i was almost literal wormfood happen?>>

[callsign-stuntshow]

// NHP x Pilot relationship: Two Equally matched Egoists form a mutually supportive power couple born of the shared belief that they’re just that fucking awesome.

Is this anything?

[quixote-ngc]

My due date has now officially come and gone. I should have known a kid conceived on a warship would subscribe to the classic naval philosophy of "hurry up and wait".

Suffice to say I am extremely irritable, extremely uncomfortable, and still extremely pregnant, so I wanna bitch about something.

Tell me about the worst person you've ever had the displeasure of having to work with.

For me it's probably a three-way tie between the Caliban riding sadist, the anthrochauvinist HA-wannabe, and this one rookie who never should have been allowed into the field.

[callsign-stuntshow]

<<I knew a guy with a who entombed himself in a goblin after convincing both himself, and the OSIRIS he worked with that they, along with the goblin they both were inside, were some kind of holy trinity of man, machine, and artificial intelligence. Creating a sort of self perpetuating feedback look of delusions of godhood. >>

<<And people say I have an ego..>>

[callsign-stuntshow]

//Did. Then REDID the character inspiration meme for Collelo. Just to give others a better idea of what they’re getting into with him. It should be stated. Of all the characters that inspire him. The biggest inspiration is infact Johnny Cage.

[callsign-stuntshow]

“Fucking Horus tech messing up my Omni-net connection. Alright. Open broadcast this is Callsign Stuntshow. Setting up friendly ident to all nearby pilots. I repeat. Flashing friendly identification to all nearby pilots. How copy?”

Independent Lancer roleplay account.

Mun is 28. With several years of roleplay experience

Early thirties muse. He/him

Formerly a Stunt Pilot and celebrity under contract with Harrison armory. Cancelled his contract after a fight with another pilot caused by them saying he wouldn’t last five seconds in real combat.

Not a real blonde. He had it dyed for his work.

Extremely arrogant. Flies analogue as a testament to his skills

Basically Johnny Cage in a mecha. Self absorbed, arrogant Jerk. Trash talks his enemies constantly. Still a good guy

[styx-class-nhp]

What kind of ra forsaken rig are you using where the flash for "nearby" friendlies reaches me on another planet???

[callsign-stuntshow]

<<I think a Lanny pilot i worked with one time actually upgraded my transmitters when they were fixing them. Certainly not complaining, but I have no clue how far signal is broadcasting.>>