SEMI-HIATUS; @calzoneguy-blog - Tumblr Blog

{ Gentle reminder that I’m over here these days. }

#{ i love y'all and i love ben }#{ but i just don't have time to be here these days :c }#{ so feel free to hmu over there uwu }#( out of ice clown; )

do-i-win-yet-archive

{ soo…. thisisathingnowplssupport }

#queue #{ please support my new project blog uwu }

do-i-win-yet-archive

{ soo…. thisisathingnowplssupport }

#( out of ice clown; )

trashybooksforladies

#queue

calzoneguy-blog

{ Okay, so… I’m gonna be taking a bit of a step back from Ben. Obviously my activity has been very low recently and it’s because I’m incredibly busy and my muse for Ben is at an all time low. I’m perfectly fine in myself (don’t worry!), it’s just my muse for him that’s gone poof. I’m not ditching Ben entirely because I love him too much, but consider this a hiatus and don’t expect replies very quickly at all. Sorry to do this, and if you want to find me, I’ll be over here much more frequently. }

#queue

{ Okay, so... I’m gonna be taking a bit of a step back from Ben. Obviously my activity has been very low recently and it’s because I’m incredibly busy and my muse for Ben is at an all time low. I’m perfectly fine in myself (don’t worry!), it’s just my muse for him that’s gone poof. I’m not ditching Ben entirely because I love him too much, but consider this a hiatus and don’t expect replies very quickly at all. Sorry to do this, and if you want to find me, I’ll be over here much more frequently. }

#{ love y'all <3 }#{ out of ice clown; }

qrady-archive-deactivated202008

⭐️⭐️⭐️ ^^

FOR EACH “⭐️” I GET, I’LL WRITE A HEADCANON ABOUT OUR MUSES.

@calzoneguy

1. Ben is one of the few people Owen really keeps in contact with after the incident. A lot of the different handlers go their separate ways but Owen tries to stay in contact with a number of them and Ben is the first one (besides Barry) that he really reaches out to.

2. They eat lunch together sometimes. It’s not very consistent, but if they see the other person eating somewhere, they know they’re more than welcome to just walk up, sit down and start up a conversation with them without having to ask. These lunches often turn into bitch sessions about the nature of human behavior.

3. Ben is one of the few outsiders that Owen willingly lets come around the paddock because he knows that he’s less likely than most to try and doing something dumb that might get him hurt/killed.

#{ yaaaAAASSS }#hcndler #{ headcanon; }#queue

Male-Aimed Pick-up Lines {Sentence Starters}

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

"Nice package. Let me unwrap that for you."

"Do these feel real to you?"

"Are you a candle? Because I wanna blow you."

"My body has 206 bones. Want to give me another one?"

"Give me your name so I know what to scream tonight."

"I lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Are you a rainstorm? Because I'm soaked."

"That suit is very becoming on you. Then again, I would be too!"

"You look like a hard worker. I have an opening you can fill."

"I don't need a spoonful of sugar to swallow you."

"There are no seats, can I sit on your face?"

"Is it wet in here, or is it just me?"

"They bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most handsome guy in the bar."

"If I told you I work for UPS, would you let me handle your package?"

"You're so handsome that you made me forget my pickup line."

"Do I know you? Cause you look just like my next boyfriend."

"Are you a magician? Cause A-bra-ca-DAYUM!"

"Are you going to kiss me or are you going to make me lie to my diary?"

"Are you a Boy Scout? Because you tie my heart in knot."

#queue

allthingsparksandrecreation

Am I the only one who thought this was hot

#{ no chris did too }#{ whaT WHO THE HECK SAID THAAAATT }#queue

a very descriptive and detailed profile of your muse. REPOST WITH THE INFORMATION OF YOUR MUSE, INCLUDING HEADCANONS, ETC. if you fail to achieve some of the facts, add some other of your own! when you’re done, tag 15 other people to do the same!

TAGGED BY: @hcndler

—————————————————————————-

NAME. Ben Wyatt AGE. 39 (but is verse dependent and the timeline is flexible) SPECIES. Human GENDER. Cis male ORIENTATION. Bisexual (closeted) PROFESSION. Indiana State Auditor

—————————————————————

PHYSICAL ASPECTS.

BODY TYPE. Small and compact like an Italian sportscar he’s short and pretty wiry. Just overall quite a small person. EYES. Very very brown. Like... hot cocoa brown HAIR. Dark brown and rigidly styled, it has some volume as he usually pushes it up slightly, but it’s kept pretty smooth and very tidy SKIN. Fairly pale but pretty clear HEIGHT. 5′10 WEIGHT. 154 lbs

—————————————————————————-

FAMILY.

SPOUSE. None by default (in one verse, it’s Leslie, and in another he’s engaged to Chris) CHILD(REN). None (yeah I know season 7 happened but I ignore it \o/) SIBLINGS. Stephanie and Henry Wyatt PARENTS. Julia and Steve ANY PETS ? No. Though in the verse where he’s with Chris, they end up getting a corgi called Lady and a rescue pig called Dr Ein-Swine. And for a while he feels partially responsible for (and has a certain fondness for) Champion while he’s living with andy and april

—————————————————————————-

SKILLS.

PHYSICAL PROWESS. Laughable. He can throw a punch but not without damage to himself - his hands and arms are particularly weak. There’s slightly more strength in his legs, but still... he’s not in the best shape. He was a shortstop on his high school’s baseball team and he enjoys playing frisbee. SPEED. Well actually, not too bad? I feel like people assume he just sucks at everything physical but Leslie was sort of right - he’s compact and streamlined, with legs longer than his body and stronger than the rest of him - he’s actually a fair runner. For short distances, at least. INTELLIGENCE. Very high. He’s not only got intelligence, but a huge amount of common sense and practical life knowledge. He’s also very perceptive and good at analysing and seeing various outcomes, as well as all sides of an argument. He’s one of the few adults who is actually comfortable adulting. He’s very good at life to be honest - the social aspect could use some work but other than that? u go fella

—————————————————————————-

LIKES.

COLOURS. He likes earthy colours to be honest. Maroons, warm browns and dark greens and blues... SMELLS. Melted chocolate, books, new shoes, pine FOOD. Calzones, most soups, sausage sandwiches, salad DRINKS. Water, weak coffee, orange squash is p. much his true love. Miller lite as far as alcohol is concerned

—————————————————————————-

OTHER DETAILS.

SMOKES ? No. DRUGS ? No. DRIVER LICENSE ? Yes. EVER BEEN ARRESTED ? If you count the time he punched the guy in the bowling alley (though that is in a different verse and later timeline) xD

—————————————————————————-

TAGGING: @clairebradlxy, @weaponsdonotweep, @arendelian, @governorknopes, @hellclaimed and anyone else reading this that wants to?

#{ headcanon; }#queue

calzoneguy-blog

{ so newsflash the mun is super hilarious and flamboyant okay take my word for it. So with this in mind… who wants to see a video of the time I got drunk and totally butchered improved natasha bedingfield’s ‘unwritten’? if i get 10 ‘♫’s, I’ll go ahead and post it wink wink nudge nudge ;) }

#{ who wouldn't want to see drunken karaoke lbr here }#( out of ice clown; )

♫

send that music symbol if u wanna see my awful drunken karaoke

{ 2/10 #momentum }

#imthelcstprincess

‘♫

{ 1/10 }

#{ i should mention that in addition to be drunk #i'm a terrible singer so this video is particularly wonderful }#escapedartgeek

promptsareus-blog1

For each “⭐️” I get, I’ll write a headcanon about our muses.

{ so newsflash the mun is super hilarious and flamboyant okay take my word for it. So with this in mind... who wants to see a video of the time I got drunk and totally butchered improved natasha bedingfield’s ‘unwritten’? if i get 10 ‘♫’s, I’ll go ahead and post it wink wink nudge nudge ;) }

#{ i feel like that video is the least y'all deserve }#{ there's also one of me being danny from grease so if i go over 10 i'll probs post that one too he he haw haw }#( out of ice clown; )

hcndler

“——Woah, hey!”

Large hands fumble as he tries to get a grip on the small animal that has just been handed to him. The time creature lets out a squeaky little meow as it settles onto Owen’s palm. The poor thing is so confused.

Now Owen doesn’t like to call himself a dog person though he has a personal soft spot for them, he’s an animal person. Not even a burly guy like him can resist a cute and innocent cat such as this. But surprise animals? That’s another thing all together.

A hand strokes the kitten gently as he holds it up to his face for closer inspection. He looks at Ben.

“Where the heck did this little guy come from?”

He’s not one to get angry easily. His temper is actually pretty level, it’s under control and he can stay composed. You learn that kind of thing from the stress of being an accountant, and then that entirely different kind of stress that came with being a keeper.

But now? He can’t remember the last time he felt as angry as this.

“Security,” he seethes, glancing around to make sure none of their superiors are around; he may be angry, but he’s not stupid. “I got him from security. They confiscated it from a guest. Who would be that stupid?!” As if Owen has the answers to that. His eyes come to rest on the cat, softening despite himself. He’s not an animal person, and he’ll readily admit that - but no cat deserves to be smuggled onto a damn island and then retained in security with no place to go.

“They don’t have the facilities to deal with this because... well, who would be that stupid?” he repeated, a little less furious and a little more irate. “So...” For a while, he’s quiet, just watching the tiny kitten in Owen’s palm. And then, a shrug. “You’re the biggest animal fan I know. And I didn’t want to... it didn’t seem right to just leave it there.”

#queue #hcndler #{ you can NEVER have too much of ben and owen with small animals }

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