Cameron TNT

he/she

[contemptible-scoundrel]

dude he's a pro and he's dating a noob, it's a problematic skill gap, it's not a healthy pwnage dynamic

[necromancelena]

Instead of using butter for your grilled cheese, you should switch to linux. You can set up a virtual machine to try out various distros to see which ones work best for your needs

[schlimdog]

“sitting at tge poker table”

me: all in ! (PUSHES PILE OF SOIL INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE)

guy: who fucking invited this guy. he always pulls some shit like this i’m so tired of it

me: looks like things are getting Dirty!

guy: that’s barely a pun. i think i’m straight up going to kill you now

me; erm… yikes! (I START STUFFING MY JACKET WITH THE SOIL TO LEAVE)

mob boss who invited me: ey now… you made a bet…. you see the cards, you play em…

me: wha… ga… but…

(MOB BOSS REVEALS A FLUSH. I ONLY HAVE A TWO PAIR)

mob boss: well… heh heh… guess that’s the way the Gabagool crumbles… (BEGINS TO PULL THE SOIL TOWARDS HIM & SNEAKS A LITTLE BITE OF IT)

guy and me in unison looking at camera: hooy capunkus…

MORAL OF THE STORY: i don’t actually know what gabagool is i assume it’s like a dessert of some kind

[baddywronglegs]

Learn to read backwards and you too can waste hours of your fucking life trying to pull open glass push doors

[stardial]

there’s just something about the word cock that makes me think of penis

[bbyhog]

STOP!!!!

[bbyhog]

this is acgually a symptom of ADHD

[vsingers]

new favorite tweet

[taelusive555]

im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names

[goomba-stomper]

friend of mine got torn apart by wild dogs. they begged me to stomp them but I just said I don't know how. theyre not goombas I dont know how.

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

I tried distracting a vampire by throwing rice at him, but I only had two grains with me so it didn't work. He counted them instantly. Then he asked me what I was even doing with exactly two grains of rice, and I explained how a bowl of rice tastes better if you spread it out over an entire day. I asked him if he was gonna suck my blood but he said no, he just had a lot more questions about the rice thing.

[evangelionreference]

i can’t stop thinking about the time my roommate and i asked our insanely ripped neighbor brian who wore flip flops year round and sunglasses on the back of his head for help with carrying a solid wood dresser up to our apartment. he wanted to get his son who was home from college to come help too so he takes out his phone and goes, “siri, call christian christianson” and turns speaker phone on while we stand there sort of stunned by the name and after a few rings cc answers, “what the hell do you want” and brian just hangs up without responding and is all, “kids, am i right” then carries the dresser up four flights of stairs pretty much by himself. we offered him a six pack of rainier as thanks which he immediately opened in our kitchen and downed 2/6 beers in 10 mins while telling us about his 1989 dodge ram 1500 he was trying to get his son to restore with him to no avail. really nice guy. we never saw his son before he went back to school but any time i ask my roommate for help with lifting stuff or reaching something he says, “siri, call christian christianson” and we reminisce about brian and his truck.

[parkchanwoohoo]

Incredible

[rslashrats]

Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

[rslashrats]

[phantomknights]

i think people are starting to forget what the LA in LARP means

[asterism343]

*nodding sagely* Los Angeles Role Play

[virtualgirladvance]

okay gang lets find that son of a bitch markiplier

[nyancrimew]

guy who does buddhism slightly wrong and ends up in nevada after he dies

[tatters-the-bat]

Reports say Windows 15 will be "a transparent pane of glass" that will be installed into frames on a wall; Lead developer comments, "finally, we got it right. Somehow we kept making operating systems instead and it was getting really frustrating."

[cryptotheism]

Fucking what.

What.

It's crazy but yeah they stopped making episodes of Edd Ed and Eddy more than ten years ago now.

[chillyfeetsteak]

my mom told me this story tonight about my grandfather. she said when he was a little boy he was afraid robbers would break into his house in the middle of the night and try to abduct him out of his bed. he thought that they would be able to feel that he was the shape of a little boy under the covers and know to grab him. so he would try to fall asleep in the shape of a letter of the alphabet. so that they would feel for him and be like "oh it's just the letter R, not a kidnappable child"