Dreamer of Dreams by the Queen of Romania, Edmund Dulac
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Dreamer of Dreams by the Queen of Romania, Edmund Dulac
“Mostly I’d Like to Be a Spiderweb because in the rain I’d look like a cracked window without a church to belong to. You could look through me and see the world in front of us. One time, my ex-lovers made a road of tongues for me. I took my shoes off to feel the song a little better, and cut a note short with each step. I want to tell you how many churches I’ve built to praise little things that deserve more than their few seconds of existence. Like the time I opened my door, smelled hibiscus and knew you were home. Like the time a child told me there was a god And because he was smiling, I believed him. Mostly, I’d like to be a spiderweb to feel you walk through. To see if you’ll take me with you, despite the spider I bring.”
— C. T. Salazar, from micro collection This Might Have Meant Fire: Poems, INCH quarterly (no. 39, Summer 2019)
Sergio Sarri, ‘Lulu’, “Futura”, #19, 1985 Source
subkilmon
Home alone, Jesse Dayan
Langston Hughes (1902-1967), ‘Tired’, “New Masses”, Vol. 6, #9, Feb. 1931 Source
“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.”
— Hafiz of Shiraz
my mouth is full of dirt, my mouth is full of you
Metamorphosis IV.
«Others are noise. Their expectations of me have been tremendously misguiding. I lost myself for so long in their deafening noise.
The repetitive demanding, patronizing, demeaning voices that echo in my head as I lay myself to rest put me in a state of constant panic. Always wondering what “thing” I should do next, how much time I have wasted not being the person they want me to be. I say to myself “I have failed, again” …
Today, I dared ask myself “I failed whom?”
How do I convince myself that the failures I attributed to myself were not my own. I am a mere conglomeration of people’s expectations of me. But who am I to myself? At my core, what is it that truly drives me? How can I separate myself from the mold I have been forced to fit in?
I long for silence. Part of me wishes to leap into the void, to forget, to disappear…
How can I define myself? Who am I?
My mind wanders without destination or purpose, their voices are still trying to pull me in every direction, but I am lost and floating to nowhere.
I don’t want to be…anything.
I wish everyone around me would just be still and silent. Allow me to dwell in quietude, listen to my own voice for once.»
“Take the longing in these restless eyes and feed it to lonely swallows cruising an autumn cornfield, […]”
— John Fante, from Ask the Dust (Ecco, 2006; first published 1939)
“The world says: “You have needs — satisfy them. You have as much right as the rich and the mighty. Don’t hesitate to satisfy your needs; indeed, expand your needs and demand more.” This is the worldly doctrine of today. And they believe that this is freedom. The result for the rich is isolation and suicide, for the poor, envy and murder; for while the poor have been handed all these rights, they have not been given the means to enjoy them.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
“A swarm leaves the bee tree.” Among the forest people. 1898.
Internet Archive
Shin Taga