Interview with Cat
Before New York shut down, before the nation shut down, I observed Catherines (Cat) words in class, from a distance. As she was always one of the more reserved and unassuming voices in the classroom. Although neither of us would have counted that our education would be halted. Or, that the both of us would later have to engage in an online conversation for nearly an hour with evenly broad and unfocused details about one another and the status of life. Before joining the zoom meeting with Catherine I had an inkling of uncertainty and nervousness in me. Having to assume the position of an interviewer at a moment in history like this. To try to investigate her and pry away the surface of her background and position in the world. It felt… challenging. I did not want it to be laborious for her. As well, the lights in my room only get so bright and at almost every online conference I can't help but to appear as a looming dark figure materializing from vibrating blank digital noise. My questions began as something simple, Where are you from? How have you been feeling? Are you a winter or summer person? Only to develop to points of, What do dreams mean to you? What do you dislike most about society? What has been your mental state lately? It was nearing the moment of digital meeting and I ran to the brightest spot I could find myself in this room as I did not want this conversation to be unmutually revealing. The call began and… the questions no longer held their weight and I realized, we were both placed in the same position. Being two strangers directed toward one another on an assignment to simply, talk.
Textualized from Voice Memo
Q: Where are you from originally?
A: I'm from Virginia. It’s a pretty small town, it started off as cow farms but its been pretty developed recently. It's kinda weird. The only other time I’d ever been to New York was touring SVA before I began living in the dorms. I was thinking, “Yeah I could just go here.”
Q: Was it overwhelming when you first arrived?
A: Well honestly, not really I was actually very comfortable, it just felt right.
Q: And how is where you grew up from different structurally, environmentally and socially than in New York?
A: Where I live it's very white, very republican. I’d say a lot of older people who are very close minded.
Q: What was the appeal then to move to somewhere like New York that seems so far and distant, location wise and socially?
A: I don't know. Just something about the city feeling magical in a way and the other schools which I could have gone to my siblings had already gone to and I didnt want to repeat what they had already done. I wanted to be my own person.
Q: What do dreams mean to you?
A: I’ve never really put much meaning or value into my dreams. Mostly because I don't remember them but, I do think it's fun to try to interpret them. When I was little I used to have a recurring dream.
Q: What was it?
A: In my house we have an unfinished basement so in this dream there was this scary old witch that would chase me, so that was probably about some type of anxiety.
Q: Have you been able to sleep lately amidst the anxiety surrounding this virus?
A: I’ve been fine because i've been doing so much work that when I stop I really just pass out. But, I do think about it a lot and it's hard to get your mind onto anything else.
Q: Especially if you're looking at the news all the time…
A: After I ate dinner I was just browsing the New York Times for live updates trying to see what was going on like how many people have died. And new york is right in the middle of it. It kinda makes sense, it's very sad. A week ago I had to drive back to New York from Virginia and move out of the dorms in like three hours and it was so erie. No one was on the street and hardly anyone was left in the dorm.
Q: How has your state of mind reacted to that?
A: Not very clear. I am having a hard time focusing and just stressed about literally everything. But, I am trying to see the light in the small places. Like when I walk my dog. But, my dad keeps saying this is gonna be the new normal.
Q: *Pause*
A: I was just reading something about how the Italian Renaissance came right after the black plague, so that would be a great way to reroute this whole thing.
Q: What do you dislike most about the nature of society?
A: I don't like how we have to fit a certain image and how we are told how to grow up. More specifically as a girl, like i've always felt like I never kinda fit the mold. Especially compared to my friends that fit that mold in my eyes. I don't like how things feel controlling in that way of people.