Writing Advice: Smut
After just shy of a decade writing shipping fan fiction I’m dipping my toes with my Shadowgast fic into the realm of smut. Still not fully explicit but extremely close. I’ve never written anything quite like this so I was hoping to share the scene in question and get some feedback.
For context the characters have just recently reunited after a heated fight and are supposed to be discussing said fight but obviously don’t get to finish just yet. The characters are Essek and Caleb, but Essek calls Caleb Bren. When I post this with the rest of the chapter the Zemnian(German) and Undercommon translations will be at the bottom so that’s where they’ll be here as well.
Let me know your thoughts:
Quickly Caleb washed up, changed and made his way downstairs. There he found Essek still in one of his night shirts, one shoulder sticking out, comfy pants, an apron, and was humming something softly as he was finishing up the second batch of scrambled eggs. He hadn’t seemingly noticed Caleb yet.
Caleb grinned mischievously and playfully snuck up behind his Drow and wrapped his arms around his waist and under his shirt, he placed a kiss right below his ear, his beard rubbing up against Essek’s earlobe. All these simultaneous actions earned Caleb a flustered gasp from Essek.
“Guten Morgen, meine Drow, der mein Herz gestohlen hat,” whispered Caleb against Essek’s currently bare ear.
One of Essek’s hands stayed on the spatula to keep moving the eggs, while the other joined Caleb’s under the shirt.
“Good morning, I didn’t hear you get up,” said Essek while trying to focus on the food but was also leaning into Caleb’s kiss. Any witnesses observing would think he was just trying to bring them closer together, but Caleb knew Essek was just seeking friction from his beard on his ear.
“Liar,” Caleb whispered as he began leaving lingering kisses upward along the skin between his hairline and ear, Caleb’s beard tickling Essek’s ear on the way up.
“Bren-“ Essek tried to whisper, other hand dropping the spatula.
He continued upwards with his mouth, and Caleb’s hands also began to climb higher, cupping one of Essek’s pecks and giving it a squeeze. Essek’s hips shifted backwards slightly into Caleb’s own.
“Fuck-“
Finally he put his mouth where Essek really wanted it and licked a line down the backside of his ear while finding a nipple and gently twisting it. A moan slipped out of Essek that sent a shiver down Caleb’s spine.
“Raggath, Bren, wael, lil caballin.”
Caleb was impressed at how quickly he rendered his love solely to his native language, but at once he fulfilled Essek’s request and backed up to give him space to finish cooking.
“Sorry,” said Caleb sheepishly, “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Essek let out a breathy sigh, trying to compose himself.
“No, that was very much wanted,” it was clear Essek was still struggling to get his words out in Common. “Just not right now, not while I’m cooking.”
“Of course,” Caleb affirmed as Essek transferred the eggs to a plate, they both started bringing things to the table. “How come you are so cozy today, not that I’d ever complain.”
Essek smiled softly as they both sat down, his cheeks slowly returning to their normal colour.
“You promised we’d talk this morning, I wanted us to be comfortable,” a small amount of mischief seeped into his smile, “but I can of course go change if what I’m currently wearing is to distracting.”
“Nein, you are always distracting to me regardless of what you are or are not wearing, Liebling. Let us eat and then talk.”
The last two weeks Caleb had cooked every meal at the Brenatto’s, so it was instantly more enjoyable to eat a breakfast that had been prepared for him. As they ate Caleb looked lovingly at Essek, when the Noble Shadowhand Warcriminal had moved in permanently he could barely reheat leftover soup, but instead of teasing him Caleb had used cooking lessons together as the activity for several date nights, and now Essek almost exclusively made the two of them breakfast.
When they finished Caleb cleared off the table and set everything aside for him to clean in a little while. As he went to sat back down out of the corner of his eye he caught what he believed to be Essek adjusting himself, but didn’t want to assume and so just sat down.
“I wanted to go first,” said Essek calmly and as empathetic as he could. “I am deeply sorry for accusing you of cheating, Bren. My fears about you leaving me clouded my observations, but that’s no excuse. I should have addressed each of my observations, but instead I hurt you and I am deeply sorry.”
“Apology accepted, it does still sting, but knowing it was from a place of fear and not jealousy does ease my mind. And for my part I apologize for not telling you what was troubling me. I was trying to spare your feelings but instead I helped worsen your fears.”
Essek nodded, there was some deeper emotion hidden in his eyes, but it appeared he was trying to stay on topic.
“I regret that it took what happened in the Heirloom Sphere for me to pay closer attention to your mood, I wasn’t being an attentive partner. I also need you to know that referring to myself as your ‘ball and chain’ is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. There is nothing I can do to make up for that.”
That really had been one of the more heart wrenching things that had been said, and it did cause Caleb to wince. Caleb tried for a sly smile.
“I’m sure there are a few things you could think of.”
Essek playfully rolled his eyes, but Caleb’s suspicions hadn’t been wrong, Essek’s eyes landed on and wouldn’t leave his lips.
“I’m trying to be serious Caleb. I hurt you, and that deserves more of an apology than what I think you’re implying.”
With their relationship likely on the mend, over two months of pent up tensions and wants were now flooding through Caleb, and seeing the sexist man he’s ever known seemingly being affected in a similar way was not helpful in keeping this conversation on track.
“Perhaps not, but on the topic, while we discussed it briefly over Sending, I wanted to address that the pause on intimacy had everything to do with me and nothing to do with you. While I know you can fluctuate with how much intimacy you crave, I want you to know I have never not desired you Essek, and I’m so very sorry if in the last few months I ever made you feel otherwise.”
There was no doubt about it, Essek was on a razors edge but was holding back because he thought this conversation was vitally important to Caleb, that without it happening right now everything would end. Caleb watched Essek bite the inside of his bottom lip and dig his nails into the table so hard it left scratches. Caleb couldn’t take it much more, his blood was practically boiling.
“I appreciate that,” began Essek, his eyes transfixed hungrily on Caleb’s lips. “There was also the matter of where we see our relationship long term, as I would-“
“Essek, oh bitte, lass das kein Irrtum sein,” Caleb broke. “Tell me no if you need to, don’t take this the wrong way but despite how important this conversation is I desperately need you to shut up and tear all my clothes off. Sofort!”
Thankfully Essek didn’t say no, instead he used his gliding Cantrip to lunge over the table to land in Caleb’s lap and straddle him, and proceeded to follow Caleb’s command to the letter by using his sharp nails to rip the shirt on his chest into a vest. It was like Essek was a savage beast who escaped its cage, and Caleb was already moaning at being the prey.
He was going to scream out Essek’s name but was cut off by the hungry Drow attacking his lips. Two could play at this savagery and Caleb reached out with his hands to firmly grasp both ears and started messaging them. The sound that spilled out of Essek between their connected lips was absolutely divine to Caleb. Essek got his own revenge by taking advantage of the newly exposed skin and kissed a line down from Caleb’s neck to the top of his chest, his hips involuntarily bucked upward in response.
“Essek,” Caleb gasped, he was having trouble thinking straight, all the blood in his brain had pooled southward and was replaced with an adrenaline-oxytocin-endorphin cocktail.
“Mhm,” was all Essek could reply as he brought his mouth to one of Caleb’s nipple’s and teased it with a fang.
Caleb growled, that was the only verbal response his primal brain allowed him to make. It did snap Essek ever so slightly back to his senses, as he sat up, and spoke between hungry kisses to Caleb.
“Usstan ssinssrigg whol dos, Bren. Usstan ssrig'luin dosst norrs pholar usstan khel. Usstan ssrig'luin z'har dos. Raggath usstan nin!”
Caleb understood none of what Essek said but knew what he had asked instantly. Caleb stood, wrapped his arms around Essek’s neck, and Essek hooked his legs around his waist (the hover Cantrip helped too), and whispered the only two words he could think of as he moved them towards the stairs.
“Bett! Sofort!”
~~~
Translations:
Guten Morgen, meine Drow, der mein Herz gestohlen hat=Good morning my Drow who stole my heart
Raggath=love (sexual context)
Raggath, Bren, dos wael, lil caballin=Love, Bren, you fool, the food
Nein=no
Liebling=Love (my love/my darling)
oh bitte, lass das kein Irrtum sein=oh please, let this not be a mistake
Sofort=now
Usstan ssinssrigg whol dos, Bren. Usstan ssrig'luin dosst norrs pholar usstan khel. Usstan ssrig'luin z'har dos. Raggath usstan nin=I lust for you, Bren. I need your mouth on my body. I need to ride you. Love(sexual) me now!
Bett! Sofort!=Bed! Now!
If further context is needed it can be found here.
