lightning in a bottle

[WIP] rp blog only!

[the-bradybrunch]

Halloween Day at school.

Me: "Are you sure you need blood? I mean, it really doesn't go."

Ava: "Dad. It's already decided 🙄"

Excuse me, I didn't know kids made the decisions.

[the-bradybrunch]

You're mistaking my sarcasm for sassiness. You also started this pretty war. You know you're beautiful, don't you? It's past their bedtime anyway. Come on. We can play hide the smoked meat.

Somehow it feels like both??

[candice-brady]

I've seen myself, felt myself. I know how I am when I'm at that level. The kind of level you, at times, push me to on purpose, you heathen. For a very long time now, Mr. Brady. Should've put something about it in your vows.

I'll compromise on the 60/40. You're only allowed to say it once a year. I think you've already used your coupon. The best thing we've ever done. Want to do it again?

[the-bradybrunch]

You're mistaking my sarcasm for sassiness. You also started this pretty war. You know you're beautiful, don't you? It's past their bedtime anyway. Come on. We can play hide the smoked meat.

Somehow it feels like both??

[candice-brady]

You risk your life for a potential thrill. What a brave man you are, husband. Hope the odds turn out to be in your favor this time. Only because I love you.

Excuse you??? I'm leaving it. That's not even a bargain, that's a ripoff. Shh. Just because we know it doesn't mean we need to say it out loud.

[emily-ibett]

They're innocent!

Unhand them!

[candice-brady]

I want that money for shoes. College comes second to mama's shoe addiction. He'll take care of it. He always does.

ALWAYS. We're trying, okay. I bet you would. You could find out if you and your husband would just buy a mini van. Then you could find out every night if you'd like.

[the-bradybrunch]

You're mistaking my sarcasm for sassiness. You also started this pretty war. You know you're beautiful, don't you? It's past their bedtime anyway. Come on. We can play hide the smoked meat.

Somehow it feels like both??

[candice-brady]

The hard road. You always take the hard road. I set that right up for you, too.

I won't ever say it out loud. Only because I know what you'll say when I do. That is not what I just said! 50-50 or bust. Mm, I don't think so. Try again with your answer.

[emily-ibett]

They're innocent!

Unhand them!

[candice-brady]

COLLEGE. I can't even. These babies better get themselves some scholarships cause it costs three fortunes just to get a degree.

My girl is back on her godbaby #3 agenda! I think you just want me to drive a minivan.

[the-bradybrunch]

You're mistaking my sarcasm for sassiness. You also started this pretty war. You know you're beautiful, don't you? It's past their bedtime anyway. Come on. We can play hide the smoked meat.

Somehow it feels like both??

[candice-brady]

Are you SURE that's the road you want to take? I want you to think long and hard about this.

I don't agree to falsehoods/flat out lies. Switch it back to my 50-50 and we'll finally have the truth. They were conceived that way because someone loves that fieriness so much we forgot protection.

[emily-ibett]

They're innocent!

Unhand them!

[candice-brady]

It's outrageous how much it costs nowadays. I can only imagine how much it's gone up even in the short time the girls haven't been in daycare.

Yeah, true! They're so fancy now. Wow, if that isn't me.

[the-bradybrunch]

You're mistaking my sarcasm for sassiness. You also started this pretty war. You know you're beautiful, don't you? It's past their bedtime anyway. Come on. We can play hide the smoked meat.

Somehow it feels like both??

[candice-brady]

.... do it and see what happens, Brady. I don't think you'll like the outcome very much.

Eh, that sounds inaccurate. Pencil in 50/50 and it might actually be right.

[emily-ibett]

They're innocent!

Unhand them!

[candice-brady]

Daddy has that $$$ I love *YOU*

It's crazy. Our accountant sat us down a few months ago to talk about projected spending for these kids. I nearly passed out when he told us what it could potentially look like.

Okay, so there's a lot of things. The lack of a mini van stands out as #1

[the-bradybrunch]

You're mistaking my sarcasm for sassiness. You also started this pretty war. You know you're beautiful, don't you? It's past their bedtime anyway. Come on. We can play hide the smoked meat.

Somehow it feels like both??

[candice-brady]

I'm pretty sure I know sassiness when I sense it. I do know it. When you say it...it just hits different. Like you hit different when you hit from behind. You are the absolute worst. I can't stand you. Put the kids to bed then come see what awaits you in ours.

Mixed bag of both, for sure.

[candice-brady]

These twins, I swear.

[candice-brady]

It's sassy. Trust me, I'd know. You can't call me pretty when our kids are still up. It does things to me.

Is it me getting you to blame it on my mom? Or are you outright admitting your MIL wears the crown?

[emily-ibett]

They're innocent!

Unhand them!

[candice-brady]

I can only imagine. Thank god I have a sugar daddy to support all these future after school activities and functions they'll be involved in. We call this....preparing for the future.

The only thing non-soccer mom about me is my vehicle.

[emily-ibett]

They're innocent!

Unhand them!

[candice-brady]

Mhm 😒

I'm so tired. I'm tired now when they're seven. It's only going to get WORSE.

Whatever makes them happy.

[candice-brady]

These twins, I swear.

[candice-brady]

The tone you have at times? Oooo that Matt-Sass is really something.

If it's anyone's fault, it's my mothers. She really takes the throne.

[the-bradybrunch]

Me? No way. Out of the two of us you definitely have the most. Don't let me forget to put down the toilet seat. Or take out the trash.

Ah, touche. You got me there.

[candice-brady]

You. Don't act like there's a halo above that pretty head. You know you get sassy. Comes out early in the morning before you've had your coffee.

Caught red handed, husband.

[emily-ibett]

They're innocent!

Unhand them!

[candice-brady]

Innocent.

You say that because they love and adore you.

[candice-brady]

These twins, I swear.

[candice-brady]

The tone you have at times? Oooo that Matt-Sass is really something.

If it's anyone's fault, it's my mothers. She really takes the throne.