POETRY

[candicecart]

haunted

I know you are haunted

My voice echoes in your head

Aching space in your bed

Filled with words you never said.

And when you are out

Trying to forget

You think you see me in the crowd

And when you realize it’s not me

You are filled with relief

And then disappointment.

[candicecart]

Bodies

We are given these bodies

Our tangible selves

People obsess over them

Trying to preserve what they're given

Our bodies are poisoned

 Everyday in this world 

From the air, the food, the cigarettes and alcohol

"Your body is a temple"

My body is an extension.

It is the most pulpent thing of my being.

It is so I will experience living.

All the wears and tears of life

I will flaunt proudly.

 As women cry over crow's feet,

I will laugh at my scars, 

My tarnished skin.

Proof, at once, it was all real.

[candicecart]

Dreams

I keep having dreams of places far away

And I never want to go home

I don’t have a thing to do, a thing to say

And I am always alone

If I go I’ll miss my friends and family

But I already do everyday

I don’t know why I feel this way.

No songs inspire me anymore

You won’t find me on the dance floor

I’m sick and sour and tired all the time

My everything hurts but I’m fine

I keep having dreams of places far away

Last night I found myself watching my mother crying in the car

Driving as far as she could

And I felt the same.

[candicecart]

Walls

I can’t feel

Something that isn’t real

I can’t see 

Without luminosity 

Cut me and I can’t bleed

Cook for me and I won’t feed

No more want and no more need

Another egg, another seed

Another human that will breed.

There is not one beam of light

There is not one final fight

There’s swimming stars in the night

We fight dirty- scratch and bite.

We pull and pluck the imperfections

So much love that lacks affection

Scowl at your very reflection

Cling to numbness for protection.

[candicecart]

Now I don’t want to talk to anyone at all,

I’m collecting hardships and hanging them on my wall.

Please tell me you won’t miss me when I leave,

That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.

[candicecart]

Breathe the Water

Take another bite,

It’s the last you’ll ever get.

I had a grip on my peace of mind,

but the angels drowned with it. 

What’s left is the horror and broken bones,

Long yearning, echoing moans,

This empty lot is now a home,

Where street signs point to the unknown.

What remains is dark long slideshows,

It’s a circus and we’re all sideshows. 

Our main attraction is nuclear reaction,

Adding the hopes with subtraction.

Take another breath,

It’s the last you’ll ever get,

Before you see the end and when it hits,

You’ll remain a smile on all the faces,

Of those forgotten and covered traces.

Loneliness is so unknown, 

For those who have forgotten and grown,

To know the life that they know now,

People drown in the past anyhow.

[candicecart]

Feels Like January

Creativity is a trait of the youth

Wisdom is not, I have the proof.

Dear, my love, you’re never the same

But darling, I’m no good at the enemy game.

Playing friendstruments to call a cab

Can’t read music, but there’s always tab.

I’m just another one trying to look,

balance me out and I’ll balance the checkbook.

I’ll either boycott or sell out and buy in,

An alien on earth so we put him in prison.

Girls socialized to reach for his wallet,

And I’m sinking in, soon I’ll reach for a bullet.

If you’re self-absorbed and called a whore we’ll have a lot in common,

From the brewer, to the sewer, to a suicide bombing. 

When God shot up the American Dream,

Nothing was viewed as it would seem.

[candicecart]

Taking it back

I'm taking it back

Everything that was done to me.

The wounds on my body

The words that echo in my mind

The hair you pulled

The lies you told

The objects you threw across the room

The power you held over me

Physically Emotionally Subconsciously

Im taking it back

As my wounds heal

As those words are silenced in my mind

As my hair falls to the floor

As I seek truth

As those objects may be broken, but I am not

As I hold the power For you to never hold over me again

Physically Emotionally Subconsciously

I'm taking it back, And it feels beautiful.

[candicecart]

Pain

With all the hurt in the world, there’s no time for quiet voices. With all the pain in my soul, it’s hard to make good choices. I’m the first one to say “life’s not fair, get over it.” But i’m stumbling home, can’t even stay sober for it. There’s power between my legs, why would I keep them crossed? On the way home, I got lost. Got shamed, blamed myself and something else. I am nothing without that love on the shelf. In the cabinet i find peace, In your bedroom I find release. In my heart I find illness, In your eyes I find realness. Hold me close, quiet my thoughts, While the skeleton in my closet rots. It’ll get better, as they say, I want to believe it, day by day. Instead, I’ll wait for those tiny moments that soothe me. As I writhe in pain, I still find beauty.

[candicecart]

Life’s a party that ended at 2 am but now it’s almost 4, and everyone’s either gone, or passed out on the floor. And I’m sitting on a couch that seems to be stained with vomit and bad choices and the only voices I hear are past ones echoed from the conversations I have had earlier that night that I really wish I didn’t have. I wish I was the type of person who could leave the party early but I don’t have the guts and I’m filled with obligation that’ll probably end in annihilation. My ride left me hours ago and now I’m here sitting on my god damn phone and I really could use more pizza but that’s life.

[bleachgoth]

I think about you Wonder what your daily routines may be. I want to breathe the air you breathe Sitting in your car In the night with the radio on We could talk about everything.

I wonder if you could smile with your eyes If I’d ever be around to see If your hand was soft, if your face was warm I don’t think I’ll ever know these things

[candicecart]

pink machine

baby, i love it when you call me machine

the computer with a keyboard and a little touch screen.

yes, it's so much better when the girl doesn't feel.

she does all the right things we'll pretend that it's real.

i am the metal that clanks

i am the money in your banks

i am the weapons and the tanks

i am the highest in the ranks

i'd much rather pretend i don't think

i'd much rather puke in your kitchen sink

shut the mind up with another drink

tell me how good i look wearing pink.