Veldra Candlethorn sits in silence after the tragedy in Ul'dah (Spoilers for the end of ARR)
(I'm truly sorry, I cannot figure out how to add a cut, I promise I tried)
I went back and forth on drawing the actual scene for a long time, but ultimately I decided that I wasn't comfortable giving Nanamo's death the lighthearted ribbing I've given so many other parts of the story. I also wanted to take some time to get my thoughts down on the game, my journey to this point, and my overall experiences with ARR, and how this has affected my life and how I plan to approach things going forward.
But firstly, I want to give a disclaimer. Probably the same types of disclaimer you all have read or heard hundreds of times across the internet. The following opinions are just that: My opinions. I am not here to change the minds of those who disagree with me, and in fact I find genuine beauty in disagreement. I think as long as we respect each other, and make an attempt to understand why someone feels the way they do on matters of opinion, that's the only thing that's really important at the end of the day. I'm going to have some good things to say about the game, and I'm going to have some not good things to say. All I ask, should you choose to read my ramblings and musings, is that you try to understand where I'm coming from and why these are the opinions and conclusions I've come to.
But first, some backstory.
I started the Veldra Candlethorn project on an absolute whim. I decided I wanted to stream Final Fantasy 14 from beginning to end as a means to get me to stick with it. I also want to be candid, and say I did not come into this game with high hopes. I have actually had experience with the game before. Several times, in fact. I have a character with several level 90 jobs as a result of story skipping to Shadowbringers, and then proceeded to play through Shadowbringers, and then later Endwalker. My motivation for doing so was I wanted to play with friends. I had been invited to the game by a friend who loved it, and I just wanted to play with her. And the MSQ was an annoying, series of gateways preventing me from doing that in the capacity I wanted, so I used the tools Square provided to bypass that gateway, and that was that...or so I thought.
At some point in the past few years, I got it in my head that I want to beat every mainline Final Fantasy game. Order didn't matter, but I wanted to finish all of them, and fortunately or unfortunately, that also meant 14 was one of them. And I thought long and hard about what that meant, and ultimately decided that whether or not I liked the game, I cheated, and that simply wouldn't do. So I pulled up my sleeves, rolled up a fresh new character, and thus Veldra Candlethorn was born. I didn't lie when I titled my first drawing "Started playing ARR, decided to draw my character. Meet Veldra Candlethorn". This really was my first time playing through it. It was never supposed to become a part of my life like this, but it did. I did her very first drawing on stream, and posted it here expecting a tepid response and I was absolutely overwhelmed, everyone really loved her, and so I did another. And another. And pretty soon it became a regular part of my life. I stream for a few hours, and if anything noteworthy happened I did a silly little doodle of her and now I actually find myself looking forward to finding those moments in the story, which is a nice segue into the actual topic.
ARR was an interesting journey to be sure. I will come out and say, I do not think overall, ARR was a great story. I would hesitate to even call it good, but the moments it had that hit, they really hit. Ifrit's failed tempering is one of the first that stands to mind. The scene where Ultima Weapon solos the three primals is another. The game had so many great set pieces, and those were seriously hype moments. Then it also had The Company of Heroes, and so many other moments like it. Just so many "But first-" quests, I was increasingly frustrated by the end of that and similarly (though not as bad) Garuda's story arc. Then Post ARR happened, and things subtly shifted, which came with it's own problems but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
I found myself getting increasingly interested in certain plot threads. Learning about the riots in Ul'dah, the way Leviathan's fight and that sahagin priest's immortality led to the plan on how to kill the ascians, and of course everything with that little rat Teledji. However just as I would become interested in one thread, I would immediately get yanked out of it and forced to pursue another storyline that I wasn't invested in yet. I was getting frustrated with the runaround. For the first time I was really starting to see some of the sparks the community saw in the narrative, but it just felt like the game didn't trust itself or me to follow through on it.
And then the banquet. My god, what a gripping, amazing scene. I was screaming. Full on screaming, my jaw dropped, and all the plot threads that had led up to that point finally coalesced into one of the best cutscenes I've seen in any video game (well, the first half anyway, the scions sacrificing themselves was a bit contrived). Alphinaud was humbled, everything we'd built was taken away, and I felt genuinely outsmarted with having picked up that bottle of poison right before the banquet. It was masterful. Do I think that one scene was worth the slog that was ARR? Ehhh...I'm not entirely sold on that. But I do think it was incredible and I'm not letting ARR take that away from me.
As far as gameplay goes though...I can't bring myself to be as nice. So much talking to people, so much running around, so much nothing. And even the parts of the combat I got to do are very obviously neutered. I started as a Dragoon and was just bored out of my mind having nothing but a 1-2-3 combo for most of the journey. Even finally unlocking dragoon and only having Jump once in a blue moon felt like a slap in the face. While she was never depicted as one, I ran around as a Summoner as a bit and felt the kit's cohesion clicked much earlier than Dragoon's, though I suspect Dragoon continues to grow later in life where as Summoner doesn't really get more complex. I finally settled on Red Mage, which has enough texture even from level 50 to feel satisfying and complete. But the early game sorely needs to be looked at from all angles. Kits should not feel broken and disjointed for the entirety of the base game. Should there be tools gained later in the game? Yes, absolutely, no doubt about that. Should jobs feel complete from a much, much earlier level? Without question. A slow, plodding story combined with wholly unsatisfying gameplay makes for a truly miserable first 40+ hours and those hours deserve to be looked at with a fine tooth comb, it's the first impression of the game for new players and it's a poor one.
However it wasn't all bad. The post ARR dungeons and trials were all absolutely delightful. Snowcloak, Shiva, the Primal rematches, all fantastic and engaging. Genuinely the most fun I had in the game and it wasn't even close and I really find myself looking forward to the rest of what the game has to offer both narratively and mechanically. Would I say the game is fun? That's a hard question to answer. I've really enjoyed my community, I've already made some great friends who support me on stream and off, and the response to my doodles has been incredibly humbling and wonderful. I would say I'm having fun with everything surrounding the game. The experience would be a lot more hollow without the people who are supporting me every step of the way. It's hard to say if I'm having fun with the game itself, but I think I am leaning towards 'No'. However I have just hit Heavensward, I've only heard the game gets better from here, and like ARR, I'm willing to give it a fair, honest shot and will of course be chronicling Veldra Candlethorns amazing, epic, Very Serious adventures through Ishgard. Look forward to some of the best, most heartfelt art you've ever seen because it's definitely coming!
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