aidan, she/her

poet’s muse

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

You know,

I’m starting to think love isn’t really like I thought it was.

Like I thought for a while (most of my life, I think) that the infatuated feeling — that ecstasy that I think draws a lot of people into the game to begin with — was what it was about, but

I think love is a bit more gentle than that.

Like how do I know I know I love you?

Well, we’re doing this, aren’t we?

Yes, we are.

I know I love you because I want to do this.

The game continues only as long as we want to play it, and I am having a blast with you.

Sorry this one wasn’t so poetic or dramatic. Sometimes it’s not like that. It’s more like — I finished that candle you gave me. Thank you. I loved the candle. I hope you’re having a good day, and I love you.

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

the inevitability of it all

you say “are you sure you love me?”

i say yes.

you say “why do you love me?”

and i sigh and roll my eyes with a smile, perhaps not as charitable as i could be

“hell if i know”

the inevitability, the inevitability of it all

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

sometimes when i say i love you it feels like an observation

it feels like when you see a dragonfly hovering by

no one’s ever really looking for dragonflies

it’s just one of those things where you notice it, like “oh, hey, look— a dragonfly.”

“oh, hey, look— i love you. look at that.”

other times when i say i love you, it feels like a confession

like i’ve been holding it in for so long and, damnit, i’m finally going to tell you: i fucking love you.

and it feels like that first time i said it, in that shitty apartment, all nervous, asking you permission — permission — to tell you those three massive, scary, beautiful words. i asked if you’re sure it’s okay if i say it. you said yes. i said i love you! you said i love you too!!! and then we rolled around on my bed, just holding each other and giggling to ourselves like a couple of (what else?) mad lovers. dissolving into a little bubble of oxytocin and serotonin and all that good stuff.

it feels like that, and i love you. over and over and over again, i love you

[fromedennn]

long distance—

“new york” by snow patrol // “spirit hold” by holly warburton // all about love by bell hooks // “505” by arctic monkeys // “untitled” by michael mao // “from eden” by hozier // “the fruit garden path” by amy lowell // “the ghost of you” by kiravieshiaArt // “as it was” by hozier // “corpse song” by margaret atwood

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

sometimes when i say i love you it feels like an observation

it feels like when you see a dragonfly hovering by

no one’s ever really looking for dragonflies

it’s just one of those things where you notice it, like “oh, hey, look— a dragonfly.”

“oh, hey, look— i love you. look at that.”

other times when i say i love you, it feels like a confession

like i’ve been holding it in for so long and, damnit, i’m finally going to tell you: i fucking love you.

and it feels like that first time i said it, in that shitty apartment, all nervous, asking you permission — permission — to tell you those three massive, scary, beautiful words. i asked if you’re sure it’s okay if i say it. you said yes. i said i love you! you said i love you too!!! and then we rolled around on my bed, just holding each other and giggling to ourselves like a couple of (what else?) mad lovers. dissolving into a little bubble of oxytocin and serotonin and all that good stuff.

it feels like that, and i love you. over and over and over again, i love you

[candromeda]

oh god. I really like this one :)

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

It’s been a while since I’ve written about you

(you know how school can be)

but know that our love still breathes

and my heart still beats in every word I

have written for you

/write for you

/will write for you.

and you sneak through my mind like a little thief

and I will still, on occasion, leave words on the windowsill

for your taking

gifts for my beautiful thief

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

be honest. Do you like me?

even worse. i love you

[candromeda]

my bf is so pretty

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

when i was younger, i’d always hoped i’d find and love someone like you

and i’ve done both and i was right to hope for this

gentle love

i will hold you as the tears fall

mine or yours— what’s the difference?

i will miss you

i will hold you as the tears fall

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

should that the sky be filled with such love for you as my heart, my bird, the four winds would fight to grace your wing

the clouds would pour themselves out, desperate to be close to you in each soft little drop

the stars would linger at daybreak, and

it all would pause to listen closely to your song

and you’d hear it echo off the blanket of the sky

and in the echo find the accompaniment:

i am listening

i see you, bird

i watch your flight

yours is my favorite

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

How to Write a Love Poem: A Step-by-Step Guide by frip

1.) stop

2.) because no matter what you say

3.) or how you say it

4.) the word “love” is not what pulls the heart—

5.) she pulls it

6.) slowly

7.) but ceaselessly.

8.) know that in your bones

9.) and in your chest

10.) and when you feel it in your lungs, take a

11.) deep

12.) breath

13.) and write

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

this weekend, I saw your house for the first time.

I met your parents, your dog, your cat, your brothers

I saw your shadows stretching around the same walls they’ve been stretching around since you were— three, I think you said.

and I tried to think of how you’re my girlfriend and how you got there from your parents, your dog, your cat, your brothers, and those walls

and I imagined shadows on the walls of you playing Rook or the piano, or eating, sleeping, or walking from one room to another

and then I started to think about how I know you a little bit more now, and how our love is a breathing love

and we grow on each other like vines, tangled, supported only by the other’s desire to support

“look, love— even our shadows are holding hands.”

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

when i think of you at work, i try to keep it in my head as if it’s a secret. unfortunately for me, the secret wanders, pink, down my cheeks and drips around my fingers. my love shows in sloppily bent wires and poorly drilled holes. my thoughtless handiwork bears witness just as the suspicious wrinkles and mischievous you-shaped creases in my bedsheet (there i go again). in my slipshod craftsmanship i give myself away like a child, giggling to themself, in a game of hide and seek. i hope i never get found.

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

i was thinking today of writing another poem for you, but with stress wedged between the little gears and belts in my brain, all of my silly little words and abstract thoughts refuse to map onto a page—

i miss you.

i am thinking of you.

[candromeda]

“it isn’t a crazy sweet one or anything” stfu this is beautiful

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

sometimes my worries fry and bubble up inside of me and sometimes it makes me feel like there’s a pressure cooker in my chest, sitting atop a hot fire in the pit of my belly, and for the love of it all i cannot find the release valve, and i know and i can feel it quaking and nearing to burst and where is the release valve and i am not good enough and i will never be and no one knows that yet but they’re about to figure it out and when they do they’ll hate me and then-

and then i remember a fact so simple i forget it like i forget my keys: you love me

there it is

and i feel my lungs where i took a pressure cooker to be and i take a deep breath, and i feel the pressure release

and the quaking turns into my pulse.

and the fire in my stomach turns into butterflies.

and i remember: i love you too.

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

you left your sweater on my bed

when i made my bed the morning after you left, i laid it on my neatly-folded blanket

like a shrine to our love.

i didn’t fold your sweater as if it was being packed away or put on display— i laid it on my bed like it was something you took off when you arrived. something unfinished, to be picked up where you (we) left off

and in my mind i whisper and i look at my quiet shrine to our love and i pray—

come back to me

come back to me.

when ten days or a lifetime passes, my heart, come back to me

[fripdippingserendipity-deactiva]

i’d no clue you would be such a big part of me

i guess that’s just how things work out sometimes