Oh wow another Genk/Bobbert post. Sorry there’s just a lot to talk about with them. Today’s topic. NSSI. Aka nonsuicidal self-injury.
I mentioned recently (unless I forgot to post it again), Genk gesticulates a lot during conversation in order to regulate his reactions. He is a person who in general is very physical+violent when expressing his emotions. Whether naturally or built up, he has a pretty good pain tolerance even as a child. He is prone to getting himself hurt consequently. This is usually unintentional but sometimes he does do things out of anger that are directly harmful to just himself. Ie he does things to hurt himself. Somethings “just happen” to hurt him but his desk slamming is a primary example of him absolutely just harming himself. There's a mini comic I have planned where you see this breakdown happen. Bobbert often has to work as a shield for him when he does this.
I think generally the self-harm he does is "minor". This might be getting a little tldr but you ever mess up on a project and just get the urge to destroy it, just ruin it because it's already "messed up"? Like, this thing is pissing me off and ruined anyways so just destroy it. I want to tear it apart, stomp on it, burn it, etc. I want to feel it break in my hands. He feels something like that. Smashing his fists (the side not the knuckles), slamming his hands, or kicking a desk/wall/etc. to the point he feels pain is similar for him. It's not just a need to destroy something but the physical sensation as well. It brings a catharsis to him. He doesn't really want it to hurt, which is why I say his self-harm is "minor". Because he is hurting himself, but he never goes far enough to cause more than bruises. That's why I said the squishy side of his fist or the palms of his hands. If he hits these parts they will not break or bleed after multiple hits like his fingers/knuckles would. His self harm tends to get more violent and direct when he's stressed about things he thinks are deficiencies of his (i.e. as his stressors become about things he did "wrong" the more major his sh is as they turn from bad stress relief to outright flagellation). Such as struggling with his homework for long periods of time, having his mother verbally berate him, or after multiple minor stressors pile up. He does not explicitly think of punishing himself when he does any of these actions, although he might call himself demeaning things as he does it. He might do them realising he is channeling his anger from an unacceptable target to a more acceptable one but he does not realise his more extreme behaviours are meant as self-punishment.