Cannot For The Life of Me @cannotforthelifeofme - Tumblr Blog

When my ex tries to talk to me like we’re back to being friends

and I’m like...

When a relative tells me that all they want for Christmas is for me to get a boyfriend

and I’m like...

When someone announces that their tweet went viral after receiving 100 likes

and I’m like...

When parents giggle & think it’s cute that their child forms letters incorrectly at the age of 7

and I’m like...

When your friend gets married, divorced then announces her new engagement & you’re still single

and you’re like...

#marriedfriends

When a friend posts a photo where they look great and you look like a monster

and you're like...

#cannotforthelifeofme #stupidfriends #fuckyou

When my friend thinks her 5 month old infant can talk

and I'm like...

#cannotforthelifeofme #peoplewithkids

When my friend tells me that my life must be easy because I don't have kids

and I'm like...

#cannotforthelifeofme #stupidpeople

When someone involves themself in a conversation they know nothing about

and they're like...

and I'm like...

#cannotforthelifeofme #weirdpeople

When people make posts on Facebook for things they do for other people

and I'm like...

#cannotforthelifeofme #attentionseekers

When you realize you've taken your online stalking to a whole new level

#cannotforthelifeofme #stalker #helpme

When the bride spots her wedding guest wearing a white dress

and I'm like...

#cannotforthelifeofme #shitsabouttogodown #stupidguest

When someones baby is crying in the middle of a conference/assembly and the mother just rocks the baby

and I just want to be like...

#cannotforthelifeofme #babies #stupidparents #getout

When a friend complains about the amount of marriages and pregnancies that are happening

and I'm like...

#cannotforthelifeofme #marriedfriends #pregnantfriends #amen

When my friend points out the divorcee who wants my number

and I'm like...

#cannotforthelifeofme #divorcedmen #nothankyou

When my friends ask me why I always stand around the food when I'm at a wedding

and I'm like...

#cannotforthelifeofme #marriedfriends #fatty

When my friend asks me if I'd like to be set up with a guy who is just like her husband

and I'm like...

#cannotforthelifeofme #ihateyourhusband #marriedfriends

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Cannot For The Life of Me