the signs as things i heard at school today
aries: (you look like an elf on the shelf) you look like a bitch that's about to be dead
taurus: i'm gonna be late to class, please make sure no one jumps out the window. (what if i jump out the window?) fine, you can, but make sure no one else does.
gemini: he's probably going to become homeless from buying too many video games. and she's gonna die alone with her crystals
cancer: DUDE WE TALKED ABOUT WHY YOU CAN'T SAY FURRY
leo: I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING CALLED ANGRY. I JUST HAVE EMOTIONS. IM VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT SHIT. I WILL FIGHT A BITCH.
virgo: YOU'RE AN EGG. YOU'RE A FUCKING EGG AND YOUR FOREHEAD IS HUGE. YOU LOOK LIKE A TOMATO.
libra: let's vote her most likely to be a furry on broadway
scorpio: she only looks at sonic and my little pony porn on tumblr and i'm so tired of walking in on her scrolling through it
sagittarius: look i only smashed this raw egg against the desk to see if it was hard-boiled
capricorn: (completely out of the blue) i miss smoking
aquarius: *throwing lifesavers across the room* give me the fucking pizza
pisces: (how's ninth grade going?) well, i love my teachers and— (no, the NINTH GRADE PAGE FOR THE YEARBOOK) oh i forgot we're in yearbook right now
