He roamed the hallways far away from where anyone he knew explored. For once, everything was silent. There were no drugs or alcohol to dim the dark thoughts and leave colors and feelings spinning but even the voices and horrid ideas he would get were quiet. He felt empty. There was sadness and rage mixing together somewhere but for now he just walked. It was the most peaceful he’s ever been since leaving his old beach. He just walked putting one foot in front of the other.
He almost would have continued that way. Unfeeling, only allowing himself to move forward. He might have continued until someone found him or perhaps until his body gave out.
But something stopped him.
Perhaps he noticed it out of the corner of his eye, perhaps it was a familiar smell drifting from it. Perhaps it was a part of him telling him to.
Whatever it was though, it made him stop and turn towards the door. Nothing remarkable about it. The same stainless steel door he’s already passed thousands of times since being condemned to this station. The only thing of any note was the door was not shut. Not completely anyway. The inside was nothing special. A little dark but by all accounts an unremarkable room.
A weight seemed to fall on his shoulders. Like his next decision was one of such great importance that even his very body was trying to warn him.
Gamzee stood at the threshold completely and utterly terrified. He wanted to run away. He wanted to drown this out with sopor and alcohol until his eyes made up colors for it, But mostly, he wanted Karkat or Kanaya to come for him. But they weren’t. And they never would.
He felt cold brush up against his cheek and hair, his first feeling of wind in months.
He lifted up one foot and placed it in front of the other. Over the threshold.
It was probably all a coincidence. Just good timing and foreshadowing.
He felt a huge, sharp pain wrack throughout his body. He doubled over, hands gripping at his stomach. Another, then another. Growing in strength. His claws dug into his skin through his shirt. He snarled at his own body, tears springing from his eyes in pain. The area around him slowly disappearing.
He reached out as if someone would take his hand, as if someone would grab it and save him.
But like every time before, all he grabbed was air.
And just like that. The clown was gone.
