Professional Friend Kisser

It/they/any (in order of preference)

[caprisunizgud]

Howdy hey!

I’m Capri, glad to meet you :D

I’ll get straight to the point and start out listing things, I’m bad at talking about myself otherwise -w-;

Fandoms!

I LOVE dark souls, be it the gameplay or the lore, I fucking LOVE THAT SHIT

Uhhhhhh… Writing? I guess?

Faggot ass furry :3

Sonic the hedgehog (Metal my beloved)

Things I like!

Pasta (been getting into cooking recently)

Music recommendations

Singing (hurts my throat but it’s fun)

Talking with my friends (tumblr give us group chats PLEASE)

I enjoyed doing freaky things with people for a while but I did NOT go about that in ANY good way leading to me manipulating a lot of people without meaning to, it was bad, but what matters is that I’m not gonna do that anymore.

Things I HATE!

Child predators

My government (America)

Intolerant people in general (homophobes, racists, etc)

If you disagree with any of that, FUCK OFF AND DIE. Thank you kindly :3

*quick addition!

I have mental disorders:

Autism and ADHD are the only two confirmed, but I’m pretty sure I have HPD, BPD, and an actual victim complex. I don’t like having these, it sucks, but I’m trying to get better. There’s probably more than these, but I dunno what they are yet.

I think that covers most of the necessary bases. Moot list time!

@shoshialyakward @fist-full-of-feathers @yanboygirlthing @thepossumest-awesome @odeggy @asillybillyperhaps (<- I think? I forgor) @g1rlinterruptzc @vincian4 @garden-of-runar @st4rboyloser @rainystarsx @somemismatchedsocks @perpetually-uninterested-cat @idkwhattoputbroo @vita-min-buniii @by-pr0xy (<- pretty sure) @evilalienmush @emofuker @northwxrds @kaihasmoreswagthanyou3 @th3-y3llowb-1k3 @ghostlybluetrain @sour-echinacea @pearchip @aciddbandyeentrio @dude-who-likes-dudes @im-so-needy @beyerstatic @aceofblades222 @sonic-the-hedgehog-offical @ririwithrice @thedeadskincellsonyourpillow @the-rat12 @laciffo-natas @loser-37 @purple-dinosaur27 @holymolyyikes @knifetheloserboy @do-not-u-dare @forgthetheaterkid @empress-azrae1 @the-queen-of-kaumidy @an-insane-alt

Hoo boy, I think that’s everyone :D

[caprisunizgud]

Making people feel good is so fucking rewarding, deadass

[petorahs]

would you still love me again?

[tenoart]

If ur in the epic discord you've seen this dumb thing already but here it is again

[batcavescolony]

Odysseus: I am different, I am no longer the man you married, it's been 20 long years but if you could just fall in love with me again?

Penelope: if you can do something for me

Odysseus: anything

Penelope: move my wedding bed.

Odysseus: I can't, it's made out of a living tree, to move it I would have to destroy it. How can yo-

Penelope: oh, I thought we were asking each other stupid questions?

Odysseus:

Penelope: 'FaLl iN lOvE wItH mE aGaiN' to do that I would have had to stop loving you.

[fangirling-phoenix]

Can we please appreciate Odysseus being a silent stalker in the shadows, taking out suitors with his bow, not deigning to speak to them as he takes them out one by one

until some of them go "we have to strike him in the darkness too! we know the halls of this palace! the odds can be tilted!"

and Odysseus, built this palace with his very hands, has to step out of the shadows like "are you this fucking stupid"

[pumpkinhrat]

[saturnsconstellation]

Men use “I’m just a man” to cheat on their wives. Odysseus uses “I’m just a man” to kill, slay and torture people to get back to HIS wife. They are not the same.

[mascingtape-deactivated20230626]

[four-leafer]

Lesbian and the Link without the hat, or Rosalina if that's not available

[violet-hady]

For simplicity’s sake let’s say straight, and Rosalina.

[someones-here-for-sure]

Biromantic Aceflux, and Ink boy or whatever,

[thedeadskincellsonyourpillow]

currently questioning but previously omnisexual and luigi or rosalina

[caprisunizgud]

Pansexual and I played Mario kart once before so I guess I’ll go with dry bowser

[homosexuality-offical]

reblog to tell prev they’re gay

[caprisunizgud]

I’m kinda anxious about my vacation being used by my partners to distance themselves from me

It’s probably irrational, I know, but I’m still feeling it :(

[aromantic-goldfishdeactivated202]

Instead of a stoic hero and a chatty villain or a chatty hero and a stoic villian imagine if they’re both chatty. Just, the villian trying their best to kill the hero while the two of them have a in-depth discussion about their opinion of pumpkin spice

[aromantic-goldfishdeactivated202]

Villian: *shoots laser* No but seriously orange is a really fun color

Hero, dodging: but your entire room? I’m not painting my entire room orange

Villain: *stabs at the hero and misses* well then why did you ask my opinion on paint colors if you’re not going to listen

[anastasia1marie]

The Princess Bride

[aromantic-goldfishdeactivated202]

Holy shit

[heroofthreefaces]

[lumpatronics]

SERVICE DOG PSA

So today I tripped. Fell flat on my face, it was awful but ultimately harmless. My service dog, however, is trained to go get an adult if I have a seizure, and he assumed this was a seizure (were training him to do more to care for me, but we didn’t learn I had epilepsy until a year after we got him)

I went after him after I had dusten off my jeans and my ego, and I found him trying to get the attention of a very annoyed woman. She was swatting him away and telling him to go away. So I feel like I need to make this heads up

If a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and in need of help

Don’t get scared, don’t get annoyed, follow the dog! If it had been an emergency situation, I could have vomited and choked, I could have hit my head, I could have had so many things happen to me. We’re going to update his training so if the first person doesn’t cooperate, he moves on, but seriously guys. If what’s-his-face could understand that lassie wanted him to go to the well, you can figure out that a dog in a vest proclaiming it a service dog wants you to follow him

[thetenderpassion]

[demilypyro]

gameoverse seems fun enough. but the cynical feminist in me can't help herself. all the male characters are like, cartoon blobs, which is contrasted strongly by the two major female characters in this pilot, both of whom are hour-glass shaped humanoid women who spend most of their screentime in swimsuits. and like that's not an outright dealbreaker but i *am* staring into the camera with my eyebrows raised.

[demilypyro]

idk i'm getting really tired of this "connecticut clark and malfina" type shit where male characters get to be Silly Abstract Little Guys but women have to be women shaped. it's this male-as-default thing that i hate where you don't need to add anything to a character design to imply male-ness but the woman better have wide hips and booba or else yknow like idk it's not outright Offensive but it is tiring

[another-cliche-title]

how it feels seeing a woman depicted in any media

[the-haiku-bot]

how it feels seeing

a woman depicted in

any media

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[caprisunizgud]

Crab girl. It also takes place in video games, which are very well known to have such dimensions for characters. There’s also Ross himself, who just likes drawing women

[caprisunizgud]

To each their own and all that, but if you like incest to any degree, even if it’s fictional, get tf away from me pretty please. I honestly don’t even care if you’re a friend of mine, unfollow me.

[cholerascum]

"erm! actually! I'm not comfortable calling people it/its! it just makes me uncomfortable I feel dirty and icky and mean! why not just use they/them? sending love!" doesn't feel good reading once. reading it 12000 times on 4 different posts? fucking explode. leave it/it's users alone. you really don't have to share that someones chosen pronouns makes you uncomfortable. you sound like a transphobe.

[caprisunizgud]

To each their own and all that, but if you like incest to any degree, even if it’s fictional, get tf away from me pretty please. I honestly don’t even care if you’re a friend of mine, unfollow me.