Claire Keane
NASA
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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trying on a metaphor
Today's Document
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izzy's playlists!
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@capsulelily-blog
I am feeling nothing. I wish I could feel nothing and happy at the same time...
When was the last time I made a wish?
Maybe when I was still innocent, I didn't know what happiness is or loneliness, or time.
I remember, I wanted a stuffed bear.
Once upon a time I was so filled with warmth. Everything was a lie. I was foolish.
・
I know I would get it. My last wish. I will.
They yell at me because I can't see what they see. Nobody can explain to me why my eyes work different than theirs. Nobody can make it stop.
Wintergirls
I want to go to sleep and not wake up, but I don't want to die.
Yet.
- Wintergirls
There's only three types of emotion. Null, sorrow, and happiness.
I have my third one in locked in another world... And there exists no key.
I dont want to stop crying. When I do, I forget reality and I drift deep into my dreams till I'm dressed in a puffy, pink victorian dress drenched in perfect flowery perfume, tiptoeing on the cliff of candies and chocolates and sugar and buttersticks and cookies, so full of happiness. Then I suddenly and fall over, down the sea of piercing cold water, where wicked creatures with sharp teeth lives. They'll gnaw me raw, alive with lifeless eyes until they lastly swallow my wind pipe. I'm scared to stop crying, but I don't want to wake up. I am addicted in my own beautiful dream of nightmare. I cant stay alive, I wont stay alive without a soul... The unreality inside me.
Wrong place. Wrong people. Wrong body. Wrong time. Wrong time. Wrong name. Wrong heart.
Mister M. once said to us that if a person answers their own questions, they are crazy. And I do.
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I want to puke myself to death every time my mind whispers that "You and this thing are alike.". I know it is very normal for a person to create this thought. But it sickens me. Nothingisaliketomyinsides.nothingisaliketomyinsides.nothingisaliketomyinsides.theydontknoweverything.mybraincellsdoesntknowme.nothingknowseverything.nothingisaliketomyinsides.
Before everything. If you hate me, we feel the same way. I hate me too. I hatex∞ the fact that i've became a person I least dreamed of. Condolence to me. Amen.
But I know this. If they shrink my head any more, or float me away on an ocean of pills, I will never return.
- Wintergirls
My papa bought me an expensive wrist watch. It's probably the most expensive gift i've ever received. And the worst gift ever. I fear time to death. It makes me want to puke, I even attach paper patches on my phones just to not see time. Papa, thanks for giving me something to sell.
I close my eyes and see it. Me, at the bottom of the bathtub with my hair flowing out in all directions. For once in my life, I'm beautiful.
- By The Time You Read This I'll Be Dead
Awkward moment when you can recite all details you read from wiki
but not your classmates' names. Lol.
POUR RED FOOD COLORING
TO JUST EVERYTHING!♪♪:D
Why I do this, the problem is. I dont feel anything. I so know that nobody loves me and nobody would. But people somewhat likes me for my appearance, so I guess thats all I have. The only thing I enjoy is food. I don't enjoy people. I always want to eat and eat all the sweets, but I can never be full. The sweet taste is the only thing that warms my soul. When I eat I forget everything because I am so happy. Then it fades. And I get hungry again. But I cant get fat, the sole reason im accepted in this society is because of my appearance and name. If I broke this one I know that my daily life would be more unstable than daily puking. Socializing is very crucial, or atleast, to me. It may provide a person her/his lunch for the day, to billion dollars, or death- this one's not that much rare. To be a person of good will wont work for me, ive seen enough of this world to know that right wrong correct false good evil is only a word invented by humans. And this is all why I cant get fat. But what would become of me? I cant live feeling lonely and empty every second, i cant tolerate it, why live if then? Happiness is food, food is sweet, food is love, food fills me up. BUT I CANT GET FAT.