Untitled

[captivatedgal]

January 3rd, 2021

I can't believe it's less than 100 days. It should be about 95 days until he gets out and come home. 3 months. I can't believe it's finally here, and yet I can. I have been wanting to write something for a month to express how I feel, but I don't think I'll be able to say everything I would want to remember. I'm excited and nervous, I'm so happy and yet I'm worried about how I've changed in the last few years. As I get older my physique shifts and changes, but my love grows deeper. I'm eager to be unbound and unrestricted to show my love, to let him feel just how much I have missed him and I think I'll never want to let him go. I get worried we will get tired of each other's company quickly after learning to be alone and learning to adjust to lonely routines and waiting. Always feels like we're waiting. But I'm hoping soon that nothing will get in our way and we'll be able to create our own happy little world like we have been dreaming about for so long.

[captivatedgal]

2-26-20

I finally moved back! Finally I'm same state where my boyfriend is at, just a few hours away from his facility.

I can't believe I'm finally here! And I can't believe things fell into place so quickly. I have been trying to get back the last 2 years, but finances and vehicle issues have been big obstacles.

My boyfriend only has 1 more year of time to finish his sentence and I have been feeling antsy to be able to get back to get things ready for him to get out.

It was so good to see him last month, it was amazing, really. And I know people know what I mean when I say it hurts to have to leave your loved one, whether you live far or close.

I started applying for jobs again and within less than a week I got offered a position, and suddenly I was packing up my dad's truck (I still don't have a car yet, will figure that one out soon) and quitting my old job and moving back here. I've only been back a few days but it's been so good already.

I am so excited to be just a few hours away from him, instead 1500 miles. I'm hoping I'll be able to see him in the next few weeks, but we'll see how it goes with the new job hours.

[captivatedgal]

Visiting 1-26-20

Wow. I can't believe I'm actually here and I'm getting to visit him for the 3rd time in 2 weeks. I wanted to write just before my first visit a week ago, but honestly I was too nervous and excited, it had been a little over a year and a half since I have seen him and he had been moved to a new facility location.

I was fretting over every detail trying to make everything as perfect as I could, but the best part was just seeing him walk through the door and seeing meeting each other's eyes and smiling.

Yesterday we even got to take pictures together that we ordered, so hopefully those come out good!

I flew 1,500 miles to embrace him as tight as I can and remember what it's like to kiss him, and to re-memorize the details of his face and hands while we sit across from each other.

It means so much to me to actually be able to see the words "I love you" come out of his lips, and not just hear it over the phone. To see his smile get wider and not just hear it in his tone, and when he tries not to laugh, seeing his eyes light up with anticipation at how I might react.

It feels magical, honestly, being able to finally connect with the person you choose to be with and knowing it means just as much to him as it does to me.

[myheartisfree]

[captivatedgal]

8-23-19 About 20 more months 💕

[life-of-a-prison-wife]

[wedotimetoo]

When he keeps calling throughout the day just to say… “I MISS YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU” =P

[captivatedgal]

5-28-19

Yeah things feel a lot better than last week, I was going through a slump in general and this week seems easier for me to just ramble on and chit chat about whatever like normal. 😊

[captivatedgal]

5-22-19

Our short phone calls are the highlight of my day and keep me going. My heart feels lighter just hearing his voice.

He's been a bit more quiet lately though, mostly listening and I get worried that I'm running out of things to randomly talk about.

Lately my life is so boring because I don't do anything but work and come home, so I don't have anything interesting to talk about, and it's not like he's expecting me to be funny all the time or putting pressure on me at all to find things to talk about.

I know it's a temporary thing because once I move back to where I have friends and more family I'll actually have things to do and things to talk about.

We're both playing the waiting game, him doing his time, and me stuck at a terrible job saving up to move back close to him.

I hate running out of things to say because it's also not in my personality. So I know it's a result of me struggling with my situation and being tired, but I hate being in that funk or slump that gets me like this.

I think I get scared that if I don't have things to talk about he'll call less. Which is totally unfair for me to think that way because it's just as important to him to feel connected with the outside world.

So that's my rant for now. I know it'll get better, it's just frustrating.

[prisonwife1985-blog]

I miss u baby.

[omg-relatable]

[hisprisonwife]

Every time I leave him at visit…

[zepolassilem]

I feel a tear run down my face As I sit in this quiet lonely place I think of you and need you here I wipe away my falling tear I hit the floor on bended knee I ask, I beg, I start to plead Please bring him home  God, no longer do I want to be alone Is there an Angel you could send to us And give us a miracle in God I trust He’s done enough time, he needs to be free Please God bring him home to me We believe in love, I believe in you Please God is there something you could do I’ll make it up to you God, you know I will I’ll be good and honest, grateful and true So please send us an Angel, is all I ask of you I’ll say this prayer each and everyday Until he is in my arms and home to stay.

[captivatedgal]

This is one of my favorite things I've ever read, seriously. It's beautiful and I feel this deeply from the bottom of my heart ❤️

[captivatedgal]

A little about myself...

So I'm starting this account because it can be really difficult to find others to talk to or relate to about loved ones who are inmates in jail or prison. I want to find posts and make posts about finding hope during those times when you miss the ones you love most and have to basically just wait.

It's May 2019 and my boyfriend has been in prison for 2 years, and has about 2 years left to go. We have been officially dating (long distance) a year now but we met back in 2016 almost 6 months before his court date.

It's been a whole new experience for me, because of having to learn the rules, the limitations, the lock down schedules, the fact that it's long distance, he's also a handful of years younger than me so that's different for me, having timed conversations and visits.... But it's also been totally different in an amazing way from my previous relationship and experiences because we are there for each other. We talk and write when we can, and we're just honest and open with each other.

Learning to make the most of short conversations and cherishing a hand written letter because it was something they actually touched and held.

It took me almost a year to tell all of my immediate family that I was dating someone incarcerated, because I come from a very modest and conservative family, but I wanted to be open about what's going on in my life.

So yeah to all of you out there missing an inmate you love, I hope that you find comfort and strength to keep holding on. I hope it's not too long that you have to wait before holding them in your arms again or hearing their voice and telling them you love them with all your heart ♥ Whether they are your child or your boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse. Stay strong, things will work out.