Cara

[caracactus]

[caracactus]

I no longer miss you, you were a poison pen writing a love letter.

[caracactus]

I heard your voice, my heart raced, hands shook. I remember it all. The beginning, the middle, and the end. The end, the end, the end, what was the end again? How did this end? Who hurt who? Did we hurt? I am hurting now. I think I’m remembering the end, the end, the end. You left. Faded into darkness, consumed. Hearts raced, hands shook, like the beginning. But it was the end.

[caracactus]

Love is a silly word. My mouth forms the words “I miss you” but my heart says ”I love you”

[caracactus]

I woke up from a dream of kissing you last night, startled awake, when I reached conscientiousness I realised my arms were stretched out with tears on my face begging you don’t go.

Maybe it was more than a dream

[caracactus]

And just like that, it’s gone.

[caracactus]

5:46 am. I wait. I sleep through my alarms and refuse to be drug out of bed but when I know it’s for you I rise.

[caracactus]

You said you loved me as though it was your favourite magic trick. The magician of innocent vulnerablity. It rolled off your tongue like you’ve preformed it 100 times over. In the mirror, trying to search for my reaction. Did you see the tears well up in my eyes behind my sunglasses as I whispered in your ear “i love you more.” Did you feel it too?

[caracactus]

To be unlovable is a nasty feeling

[caracactus]

I wish I could paint the emotions I feel when I hear a song that speaks to me

[caracactus]

Love is that funny word, the kind of term that’ll either put a smile on your face or make the tears roll down you cheeks like a thunderstorm on a 90 degree day.

[caracactus]

And this time, I hoped for him to feel the same way

[caracactus]

I don't think you should hold me, I don't think you should know me, I don't think you should love me because I always feel so lonely knowing that nothing will ever last forever.

[caracactus]

I dream of a man who will put his hand on my scars and forgive me

[caracactus]

I forget to exist, to be present, to be alive.

[caracactus]

I feel exquisitely lost trying to describe my life after you, happy yet lost I suppose. I've come to terms with our ending and the closure has started yet I can never find the words of my new life after you.

[caracactus]

Every morning, we slowly wake up together with coffee, your right hand placed on my left knee. You mean everything to me