Crit-A-Boy

Big bad Soda Pop boy!

[carbonatedmenace]

What’s good you bunch of idiots! Crit-A-Boy has arrived on the scene to answer your dumbass questions! and maybe randomly talk about something i guess-

[carbonatedmenace]

Who's this purple shit? Does he bleed like everyone else?

@brutal-sniper

OH PAL! YOU ARE CROSSING A FINE LINE WITH CALLING ME A “PURPLE SHIT”

I can drink a single thing and immediately lay you out like a fucking PANCAKE you DUMBASS!

And don’t worry i’ll get help, i got two people to help actually! my left fist! and my right fist!

[brutal-sniper]

Can fists stop you from blades skewering you? I'd like to see you try! And once you're dead, maybe I'll go find your doctor friend and see how he'll fight without you

[carbonatedmenace]

Don’t you DARE bring Dok into this… you are so lucky i’m being forced to be nice today because i would NOT hold back…

Plus all i’d have to do is drink Bonk and then boom! i’m completely invincible!… for like a couple seconds but i have a whole cooler of it! what then Christian DUMBASS Sniper!?

[carbonatedmenace]

Who's this purple shit? Does he bleed like everyone else?

@brutal-sniper

OH PAL! YOU ARE CROSSING A FINE LINE WITH CALLING ME A “PURPLE SHIT”

I can drink a single thing and immediately lay you out like a fucking PANCAKE you DUMBASS!

And don’t worry i’ll get help, i got two people to help actually! my left fist! and my right fist!

[carbonatedmenace]

*then run up to you, tackle you in a hug, put a bracelet with a warm color scheme and the word 'sunny' on it made of beads on your wrist, and run for their life*

HEY WHAT THE-

[He looks down in shock and looks back at the anon running away]

WHAT THE FUCK???

WHAT IS THIS?…

[He looks at the bracelet and covers it embarrassingly]

OH SHIT-

No one can know about this…

[carbonatedmenace]

*bites you*

OKAY! OW! first of all-

and second of all-

GO FUCK YOURSELF FOR DOING THAT

[carbonatedmenace]

you got any piercings bubble boy? if you don't, have you ever thought about getting any?

Why da hell would i get piercings? i think they’d look bad on me, tainting my BEAUTIFUL body and face

No hate on those who do though! you guys fucking ROCK that shit

[carbonatedmenace]

i wont die if i eat chalk ya doofus, i've eaten all sorts of inedible stuffs like chalk and glue i'll be FINE!!

Listen pally your funeral! that i’m probably gonna set ablaze!

[carbonatedmenace]

we're both clueless, let's drink chalk together

Yea pal- Uh- i think you’d DIE-

But ‘ey who knows fuck it right? you only live once!…

Yea YOU DO i can die as much as i want!…

I think-

[carbonatedmenace]

critty have you ever tried grinding up chalk and throwing it into soda imagine drinking carbonated chalk dude.... i should ask dok about this

… Damn beat me to my own suggestion! Listen pal, i don’t know EVERYTHING that’s gonna happen to me-

Always just ask Dok-Dik for any of those questions because i am fucking CLUELESS pally

[carbonatedmenace]

these DELECTABLE cans of POP are all YOURS! three enormous cans of soda emerge out of my pockets have fun DRINKING and come back SOON!!!

Oh you absolutely BET i will enjoy these you weird salesman!

[carbonatedmenace]

now that the DEAL is SEALED i'll give you three of these DELECTABLE POPS for only $19.97!! you heard correct my SODA DRINKING man! only three for the PRICE of $19.97!!! how does THAT sound to YOU?

I don’t knowwww….

Sounds like an absolute STEAL!!! i’ll take your entire stock!!!

[carbonatedmenace]

HI CRIT! I-

*they hit off your hat. As it falls to the ground they see you atrociously messy hair; and next thing you know, you're being held down and they're brushing it*

How does it even get this bad? Crit, brush your fucking hair dude..

HEY YOU-

Listen pal i don’t know who you are but you keep do-doin…

….

Stop it…

[He is holding back a lot of joy right now]

It’s- I- Listen pal i don’t… like doin’ all that self care stuff okay?… gets in the way of my routine…

[carbonatedmenace]

CRIT GET TF OFF MY SOCIAL STUDIES WORK

NO I’M AN EVER OMNIPRESENT BEING!!

Your fault for drawing me on there DUMBASS

[post-man-sans01]

DAMMIT CRIT, IM CALLING THE WIZARD ON YOU B AHH

[carbonatedmenace]

NO WAIT PLEASE DON’T DO THAT HE SCARES ME

[carbonatedmenace]

i'll stop trying to sell you my TELEVISION SETS AT 50% THE PRICE!! what about a PERFECTLY carbonated can of POP my GOOD MAN?

NOOWWWW WE’RE TALKING BUSINESS!!

[carbonatedmenace]

CRIT GET TF OFF MY SOCIAL STUDIES WORK

NO I’M AN EVER OMNIPRESENT BEING!!

Your fault for drawing me on there DUMBASS

[carbonatedmenace]

THINK FAST!!

*they throw a plushie of a certain sunny friend at you! It's hand made!*

WHO THA HELL-

Oh it’s like a- little plushie of my pal Mr Sunshine!

…

I-I’m gonna keep this okay?

I’mma put it in my cooler…

[carbonatedmenace]

STOP SELLING ME CRAP, I DON’T WANT YOUR 50% OFF TELEVISIONS GUYS.