H. Someoneās greatest fear/Carlisle and Esme please āŗļø I love your blog and writing !
Thank you my luvlie! Anon also asked for Carlisle + H!Ā
Watching Jasper charge Esme was difficult for the Cullens to watch. The wolves watched from the shadows, learning everything they could about the way the vampires fought so that they could best prepare for the upcoming battle. Carlisle did not blame them - if he were in their position, he would be paying careful attention, too. He had watched with a sharp eye as Jasper had sparred with Rosalie, with Emmett, Edward, and Alice, but this was different. This was Esme. And Esme was no fighter.Ā
At his side, Rosalie grasped his hand. They both winced when Jasper locked his arms around her neck and grasped her head as if to rip it from her shoulders. She wasnāt as fast as the others and she wasnāt as strong. She didnāt have the abilities that Edward and Alice did that put them at an advantage over their enemies, and she didnāt have Emmettās strength, or Rosalieās vicious determination, or Jasperās skill. She was the weakest, the most vulnerable. When Jasper grabbed both of her arms behind her back and pressed his foot between her shoulder blades as if to tear her limb from limb Carlisle could stomach it no more.Ā āEnough!ā
Jasper had already let her go and was beginning to explain how she could have avoided it, and everyone looked at the patriarch in surprise.Ā āCarlisle, she needs more training than anyone else,ā Jasper pointed out.Ā
She clenched her teeth and nodded.Ā āHeās right. I wonāt be a burden, I want to know how to my part.ā
Carlisle looked down at the forest floor, keenly aware of the audience they had. He nodded. Rosalie squeezed his hand again when the sound of Jasper crashing into his mother echoed around the clearing.Ā
After the wolves had taken their scent and taken their leave, and Edward had taken Bella home, Carlisle could barely look at Jasper. For the sake of their guests, Carlisle had maintained an air of easiness, comradery, and congeniality, minor outburst aside, but now it was just the family, he let his weakness overcome him. This presented itself initially as silence. Emmett and Jasper were in high spirits after the sparring and even Aliceās mood was much improved. They ran off ahead of Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme who kept a more moderate pace, and after a few miles of intolerable silence, Rose darted off after them.Ā
When they were alone, Esme stopped.Ā āWill you look at me?āĀ
Carlisle looked at the forest floor. He looked at the undergrowth, the trees, the leaves, the sky, and at last, he looked at his wife. She was upset.Ā
āIām sorry if I embarrassed you back there,ā she said quietly.Ā
That surprised him.Ā āEmbarrassed? Why would I be embarrassed?āĀ
āBecause Iām not fit for this. I cannot protect our family like the rest of you. I am the weak link. I know it was hard for you to see, I saw you look away.āĀ
āOh, God, Esme.ā He went to her and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair.Ā āIāve never been anything but proud of you. Tonight included. God, no, it wasnāt an embarrassment. It was seeing my greatest fears come to life.āĀ
She hugged him tight around his back and pressed her face into his shoulder.Ā āItās easier for me to believe that you are embarrassed.ā
āBecause if I die in the coming battle, I canāt bear to think about what that would leave behind.ā
āYouāre not doing to die.ā
āI might. Iām a poor fighter. I donāt want to kill anyone and I take no pleasure in it, even if itās to protect the family.ā
When Carlisle pulled away and cupped her face in his hands, he looked ragged.Ā āEsme, you are not going to die. Youāre not. I wonāt allow it.āĀ
Her lip trembled.Ā āPlease prepare yourself to know that I might. You need to be prepared to live if it should happen.ā
āStop it.ā His voice was close to begging and it looked like he would cry, if he could.Ā āI canāt even... God, no, It wonāt... I canāt... not without you, Esme.āĀ
She swallowed thickly.Ā āI donāt know what to do. Iām frightened. I donāt think I can do this.āĀ
āYou can. We can.ā He held her tight again, as if he was scared to ever let her go.Ā āWeāll ask Jasper for more help. Weāll learn how to fight together as a team. I wonāt let you do this alone. You wonāt fall. I wonāt let you.āĀ
