H. Someone’s greatest fear/Carlisle and Esme please ☺️ I love your blog and writing !
Thank you my luvlie! Anon also asked for Carlisle + H!
Watching Jasper charge Esme was difficult for the Cullens to watch. The wolves watched from the shadows, learning everything they could about the way the vampires fought so that they could best prepare for the upcoming battle. Carlisle did not blame them - if he were in their position, he would be paying careful attention, too. He had watched with a sharp eye as Jasper had sparred with Rosalie, with Emmett, Edward, and Alice, but this was different. This was Esme. And Esme was no fighter.
At his side, Rosalie grasped his hand. They both winced when Jasper locked his arms around her neck and grasped her head as if to rip it from her shoulders. She wasn’t as fast as the others and she wasn’t as strong. She didn’t have the abilities that Edward and Alice did that put them at an advantage over their enemies, and she didn’t have Emmett’s strength, or Rosalie’s vicious determination, or Jasper’s skill. She was the weakest, the most vulnerable. When Jasper grabbed both of her arms behind her back and pressed his foot between her shoulder blades as if to tear her limb from limb Carlisle could stomach it no more. “Enough!”
Jasper had already let her go and was beginning to explain how she could have avoided it, and everyone looked at the patriarch in surprise. “Carlisle, she needs more training than anyone else,” Jasper pointed out.
She clenched her teeth and nodded. “He’s right. I won’t be a burden, I want to know how to my part.”
Carlisle looked down at the forest floor, keenly aware of the audience they had. He nodded. Rosalie squeezed his hand again when the sound of Jasper crashing into his mother echoed around the clearing.
After the wolves had taken their scent and taken their leave, and Edward had taken Bella home, Carlisle could barely look at Jasper. For the sake of their guests, Carlisle had maintained an air of easiness, comradery, and congeniality, minor outburst aside, but now it was just the family, he let his weakness overcome him. This presented itself initially as silence. Emmett and Jasper were in high spirits after the sparring and even Alice’s mood was much improved. They ran off ahead of Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme who kept a more moderate pace, and after a few miles of intolerable silence, Rose darted off after them.
When they were alone, Esme stopped. “Will you look at me?”
Carlisle looked at the forest floor. He looked at the undergrowth, the trees, the leaves, the sky, and at last, he looked at his wife. She was upset.
“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you back there,” she said quietly.
That surprised him. “Embarrassed? Why would I be embarrassed?”
“Because I’m not fit for this. I cannot protect our family like the rest of you. I am the weak link. I know it was hard for you to see, I saw you look away.”
“Oh, God, Esme.” He went to her and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair. “I’ve never been anything but proud of you. Tonight included. God, no, it wasn’t an embarrassment. It was seeing my greatest fears come to life.”
She hugged him tight around his back and pressed her face into his shoulder. “It’s easier for me to believe that you are embarrassed.”
“Because if I die in the coming battle, I can’t bear to think about what that would leave behind.”
“You’re not doing to die.”
“I might. I’m a poor fighter. I don’t want to kill anyone and I take no pleasure in it, even if it’s to protect the family.”
When Carlisle pulled away and cupped her face in his hands, he looked ragged. “Esme, you are not going to die. You’re not. I won’t allow it.”
Her lip trembled. “Please prepare yourself to know that I might. You need to be prepared to live if it should happen.”
“Stop it.” His voice was close to begging and it looked like he would cry, if he could. “I can’t even... God, no, It won’t... I can’t... not without you, Esme.”
She swallowed thickly. “I don’t know what to do. I’m frightened. I don’t think I can do this.”
“You can. We can.” He held her tight again, as if he was scared to ever let her go. “We’ll ask Jasper for more help. We’ll learn how to fight together as a team. I won’t let you do this alone. You won’t fall. I won’t let you.”
