“Who the fuck are you?” “Major fuckups”

E : they/them : 27 Now with sparkles! Header by @vaxildab

[wanderingcas]

when you get an ao3.org comment where someone quotes fic lines back to you?? unparalleled. brain exploding. best feeling in the world

[newtype-lila]

rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

[gojira007]

[hinoneko]

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

getting followed by porn bots is weird and that’s coming from a guy with multiple 🥵 concubines

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

this is really resonating with the subjects

[qin-shi-huang-di]

step aside you old cut-sleeve, i shall court these maidens!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

I’m an emperor actually @chasingtheskyline

[qin-shi-huang-di]

the marquis of homo WISHES he had a fraction of my imperial glory!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

right so i’m one of the most well regarded emperors in the history of china and you’re the guy who had to put “shut up about the mercury” in his bio

[qin-shi-huang-di]

I AM NOT OWNED! I AM NOT OWNED!!!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN EARN THE LOVE OF MY CITIZENS!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN ADEQUATELY PREPARE MY SUCCESSOR!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN ESTABLISH A STABLE DYNASTY!

[diet-poison]

the Terracotta Army guy?

[qin-shi-huang-di]

🙄 you build ONE funerary complex with 8000 life-sized statues of soldiers, horses and generals and suddenly you’re “the terracotta army guy.” 🙄 execution.

[slimlimit]

Stumbling across this makes me feel like a dad whos walked into their kids room beer in hand and seeing them roleplay starwars fights i do not belong here but god its entertaining

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

to be clear in this scenario im the jedi and im winning

[kingfucko]

i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck

[nerves-nebula]

me and this random couple are going to see sinners this friday

[nerves-nebula]

Everyone wish me luck on my date today I’m so nervous what if they don’t like me…

[cryoverkiltmilk]

You show up and Michael B Jordan is sitting in both seats.

[nerves-nebula]

☝️only funny addition so far. I’m actually shocked nobody else thought of that yet

[asynca]

Write that one-shot. Those 3 chapters will be the best 10 chapters you ever wrote

[isabelopaque]

When nobody else was remember who was there for you at your lowest. That's right. Completely and absolutely dogshit music

[iiryebreadii]

tragic: tumblr user develops new obsession(s) with media that none of their mutuals know or care about

[ender--gaming]

miracle : tumblr user posts about new obsession(s) so much that their mutuals become infected with liking it too

[lesbianjeanleslie]

the eclipse fixed the curse on the golden theatre

[json-derulo]

i'm sorry i didn't respond to your DM for 23 days. the number on the notification icon got really big and i began having irrational anxious thoughts such as "what if people are in there trying to contact me"

[iambecomelasagne]

god thats brilliant crew you have 0 braincells and are everything 2 me

[iambecomelasagne]

[iambecomelasagne]

[iambecomelasagne]

[iambecomelasagne]

[iambecomelasagne]