,

[carokins]

anyway im starting a new blog. this one was last used 8 years ago and i feel like a different person entirely ! i will share it if you ask me

[carokins]

tumble just informed me that this blog is 15 years old lol wild!!

[carokins]

guys am i... about to get back on tumblr????

[gif87a-com]

[tertwig]

This is the most punk rock thing I’ve ever seen

[carokins]

i need a new platform/medium for thoughts/self expression. tumblr feels too weirdly irrelevant, twitter feels too short, medium feels too long and official, and i’m way too damn lazy to actually write things down in a physical journal ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[oessa]

39°16'56.3"N 141°07'46.6"E

[carokins]

lol I suck bc i hit ppl up that I haven't seen in a while to initiate plans and then like immediately lose all energy to follow thru on anything and like rn I can only think about how much I wanna just lay in bed by myself for like a week straight

[carokins]

my mood tonight is a weird combination of anxious and irritable and apathetic and almost dissociative and idk. but not like angry or depressed... just like... very dissatisfied and very not me hoping this will be better in the morning.

[carokins]

looking back at the dudes I was attracted to in 2012-2013 and... honestly why tho!?!??

[anthony-samaniego]

california bayou 

[spectaclesuzuki-blog]

View this post on Instagram

[pyrogina]

between the snow, floating oranges, and faint music in the background this feels like a fever dream that i never want to wake up from.

[carokins]

Been feeling down & thinking about ny a lot today

[carokins]

still working thru what it means to have grown up here and to have observed so many things changing as a result of tech wealth and gentrification and the silicon valley bubble, but to still have grown up privileged, so as to hardly even feel the real effects of these changes besides the occasional hr+ commute to work. and what does it mean to have returned here only to become a part of that effect??? i dont know how to feel 

[archatlas]

[warmsoftsun]

Zhang Jia Wu

[scatteredchemistry-blog]

Visit Original Link

[carokins]

feeling a lot more at peace tonight. for once, i have words for my feelings but i don’t always feel the most comfortable posting them here since i don’t know exactly who reads this anymore-- might start a new blog somewhere to put all of them.

i just finished writing a rec letter for one of my students who is applying to stanford. i am so proud and also so humbled thinking about how much she’s accomplished. i know that these kinds of things-- building these relationships, watching my students grow-- are the things i can really find fulfillment and happiness in. at least once a week i still think about that moment when crystal ran into the room holding flowers for me on our last day together bc in that moment i realized how much our relationship meant to her and how much knowing her had also changed me.

still looking for a way i can do something similar here at home. it would be great to help folks who could use it but i think it would also help me a lot

[federalbureauofislam]

sorry I haven’t replied to ur texts I’ve been overwhelmed by literally anything that’s ever happened or will happen