i might be a lot to handle, but I’m a lot to lose too

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@carouselhearts
i might be a lot to handle, but I’m a lot to lose too
The intimacy of someone being sure about you
I constantly feel like the most unwanted thing in existence
netflix and chill but instead of fucking we just watch serial killer documentaries and have in depth discussions about what part of their childhood made them murder people
I wish I could just move away and start again. Everything is wrong whenever I'm "home". Getting away for a few days was beyond exactly what I needed but coming back makes everything so much worse than it was before.
fuck excuses, learn to admit when you fuck up
what’s the cheat code for stable mental health
if she cares about ur mental health keep her
“Nobody belongs to us, except in memory.”
— John Updike, from “Grandparenting,” The Afterlife and Other Stories (Alfred A. Knopf, 1994)
me, every day: i just dont have the energy for this today
I love when people reply to me with long messages and details and keep the conversation interesting like yes tell me everything I'm listening
i just wanna be excited about life again man.
i wish people would normalize being lost in life and just not knowing anything. not knowing what you’re passionate about, where you want to live, what you want to do, where you want to go— or what lies next. as a society, we normalized going to school, finding a passion, getting a job, finding a partner, getting married, having kids, working hard to earn an honest living. but what about when shit just doesn’t go that way? you really just don’t know. and what’s even worse is, you don’t know why you don’t know or even where to start so you feel alone. you feel as though you’re a disappointment to your family. as if you failed in life. but you haven’t, it’s okay, to not know. to be lost. you have your whole life ahead of you to figure things out. patience is a virtue. there is no time limit on life. you don’t need to rush. don’t allow society to fixate the narrative of having all your shit together at a certain age. it isn’t realistic for most. being lost is so much more normal than we think. and i just wish people would be more transparent about it.
En el Mar Art