[carpenoctem1897]

Currently having a really hard time reconciling with the fact that I’m alive. Like I’m actually sick to my stomach and sobbing because I just can’t do it right now. I’m just tired and I want to believe this all has to be for something but it really feels like it isn’t. I belong to nobody. I contribute very little. It just bulldozes me out of nowhere. I try so hard to hold myself together until I just can’t and I break down into a stupid ridiculous mess and then I just feel worse. fuck this shit I’m so over it.

[threeamserif]

instagram | photos are my own, reblogs fine, do not repost/reuse

[rosieandthemoon]

From 1849

[academic-vampire]

𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔲𝔯𝔰𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔬𝔟𝔬𝔯𝔬𝔰

[04k96]

[vvamolian]

art done by @filip_mirazovic

[carpenoctem1897]

Life update: I am still conscious and breathing

[shadowrosesilvermoon-deactivate]

[omnia-mors-aequat-nstrwa]

"Lenore" — Frank Kirchbach (1896)

[mournfulroses]

Virginia Woolf, from her novel titled "The Waves," originally published in 1931

[omnia-mors-aequat-nstrwa]

Flags of the funeral procession "Memento Mori" (19th-20th centuries)

[hardboiledsin]

[vieneinpace]

William Etty's Male Nude, with Arms Up-Stretched (1828) revamped by Astra Zero

[omnia-mors-aequat-nstrwa]

A Knights Dress by Frieda Lepold

[carpenoctem1897]

Alive? Regrettably. But that’s the way the world works I guess. Nothing ever goes according to plan. Anyway, going to be under frequent medical supervision for the foreseeable future.

[carpenoctem1897]

Thank you everyone who has been here for me over the years. This community has always been a bright spot in a dark world. Things have just gotten heavy and I’m really tired. I don’t think I can keep carrying this burden anymore. I really don’t want to be dramatic or anything but I just want people to know that I’ve always appreciated your support and your talents and the love you have to give the world. I hope you all keep giving it because people need it.

[gothredy]