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The day I told my parents about mark...

SO. I came home this weekend. I was home by Friday night and I went to Anthony's house with Daisy to see Mark, Anthony, and Laurence. Then Saturday I spent the day with my parents and Milagros and that night I went to the mall with Daisy, Mark, and Milagros and I also went on the highway for the first time successfully with Mark's coaching. Because the back roads had a road that was closed. Sunday I had a chill day at home. Today, Monday, omg so many things happened.

The plan for today was for me to go to ramapo with Anthony from 12-6. So i got ready and told my mom i was going to hang out with priya. So i left with anthony and i got there. I met mark's friends and i chilled with him. It was a good day. then around 5pm my mom started calling me like crazy. she left voicemails that i should be home by now and that we were going to go visit my grandma. so anthony and i left and on the way there mark got a call from priya saying that my mom called her asking if i was with her. priya said she would call my mom back because she didnt wanna reveal anything if she was supposed to be covering for me. then daisy called anthony saying that my mom called daisy telling her to tell me to pick up my phone. so i called my mom and she asked where i was. and i lied and said sonic. she said to come home right away. so then we hit traffic on the way home and then by this time i'm thinking im busted. and that i should just come clean. and mark is fearing for his life because the last thing he wants is a repeat of what happened last time we got caught. and anthony encouraged me to tell the truth. so then my dad called while we were stuck in traffic and my dad straight up asked who i was with. and i said anthony. and he was like you tell your mom youre with priya. and now youre with anthony. come home now. so we rush home and we finally get home

when i walk in my dad walks away from the door and my mom doesnt even look up from cooking. i go up to my mom and ask if she wants to talk about it. and she asked where i was. she was clearly furious. and i said i went to ramapo with anthony. and she shook her head and she was like why did you lie. did you go to see mark? and i said yeah but not only him. i always saw other people from hs. and she asked is mark your boyfriend. i said yes. and she said i'm learning to lie and do bad things at college. then my dad comes back and says you always lie. why did you lie? and i said because i was scared you wouldnt let me go to ramapo. and my mom was like DUH OF COURSE YOU WOULDNT BE ABLE TO GO. and my dad was like you better not get pregnant. after that your life will be downhill. the only thing i ask is that you finish college. just focus on college. if you get pregnant i'm not paying for your loans. and i was just nodding my head. and my mom was clearly mad just not saying anything. thennnnnnnn i left to go to my room. i let my dad cool down for 20 min

then i asked him if we could talk. and i start crying omg. haha i told him i didnt want him to be mad at me. and he said hes not mad he just doesnt want me to lie to him. so then i told him i want him to be ok with mark and like get to know him. and be able to have mark over while both of my parents are home and it'll be ok. and my dad said it's fine. he said the reason why he was mad back then was bc i was still young and in hs and now i'm like almost 19. so it's ok. and he said i could've just told him because he said he feels for me. he said he had girl friends in college and he got through college so he understands. he just doesnt want me to get pregnant. and he said mark is ok and he's willing to be friendly and welcoming. then we went to talk to my mom

and MY MOM FREAKED. OMG ALEX SO UNEXPECTED. she was like WTFFFFF. NO IT'S NOT OK. you both wont finish college. you both are dumb for doing this. i dont like it. it's your life. whatever. make your own decisions. but she was like yelling at me. and my dad was like why are you raising you voice at her. and my mom was like whatever! IDC. do what you want. and it was just a big unexpected turn of events.

this whole time i've been putting off confessing because i was anticipating my dad's reaction. and now that it has actually happened... my dad approves and my mom doesnt. i'm so weirded out by mom because she had to have known and if not know had a strong suspicion. and now that i confess she's mad. another part why she could be mad bc i lied today... and she's not over it. because my dad is a lot faster to forgive than my mom. and another reason why she could still be mad is bc she knows all my excuses were just excuses to see mark. idk

but this is a good thing. i think things will come around with her soon. and i'm overall glad with the progress i made today. yaaaaay! :)

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Proud of you, girl! :) Let the boss streak commence... ready, set, go.

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Did well on my psych test.

Like a boss. :)

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Today was good. Good talk with you on the phone, good hangout/study session at Barnes and Nobles with my two friends, Rachel and Son, oldies music jam session with Son as we were waiting for Laura to get ready, midnight grub with the three of them and then finally hitting home with a good talk with Abby just casually updating each other. Life for the most part is good. Must always never fret over petty things and be thankful for the overall picture. Learning to better myself day by day. Be patient, honest, understanding and genuine to myself and the others I care for. 

Thank you. <3

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So this past Friday night I went out with a bunch of nurses into town and got like the best bubble tea ever and we just talked and chilled. Then we came back and watched She's the Man in the lounge and then the lounge was infiltrated by drunk guys getting back from parties and we actually listened to one make a fool of himself by venting about the love of his life haha. Then I went back up my room and enjoyed the night with my roommate gone :) This weekend she stayed at her boyfriend's and mom's hotel room to spend time with them.

Saturday was probably the chillest day ever!!!!! I woke up leisurely. Got locked out of my room in my bathrobe and I had to do the walk of shame to the service desk but on the way there I found people on my floor that helped me out and I made more friends that don't drink! WOOHOO. Then I just did my nails which felt great because I haven't done them in like three weeks! So then I went to church and that felt good because I haven't gone in two weeks. I recognized someone and had dinner with them. But her "crew" was like really weird I didn't like the feel of their group and it was ironic because they just came back from church and they planned on partying that night. Not that I'm judging them, it's just a weird combo. And their group had a weird affinity for nurses which creeped me out in a way. So I might stay away.

Last night when I called you to talk or whatever I did feel sort of lonely just because I told the other nurses to go ahead and go into another town without me because I had plans to be with those people from church. And my roommate was gone. And YEAH. But although it was slightly lonely it felt so good to just relax alone with the TV on and watching youtube videos. Like what I do at home. 

I feel like ever since I got here to UMass my personality have been always challenged. Since no one knows my past or my morals I feel like I can easily switch out of whoever I was before I came into someone new. But I don't want to change. I like my morals and I like who I am. And after contemplation I feel like I'm glad I made choices against changing who I am completely. Like making friends with people who drink or people who party every Thursday. Now I seek to just grow in who I already am. People like you and Clar I appreciate. Because even tho we're taken out of where we're supposed to follow a certain behavior because of parents or whoever may judge us we still act the way we would have because that's just who we are. We choose not to. These are just thoughts. But yeah :)

Even tho some of my friends from back home (... -_-) have chosen to change their ways I just trust that they did so because they were not happy with the way they acted beforehand and not because they were pressured to follow the status quo. 

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WHAT A NICE CHAMBRAY YOU'RE WEARING. QUITE NICE. YES INDEEDY DOOOOO!

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Panera bread over conversations, soup-sipping with college contemplations

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oh haaaayyyy!

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Summer post!

First summer that both of us are college students! Whaaaaaat?! 

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Look at me :)

I'm posting on here! LOL

So I ordered a new phone last night. It's supposed to come on November 10th. I'm so excited. Kbyeee.

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Just wanted to say...

I miss you! 

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My overview as a senior.

I still don't feel the seniorness yet nor the senioritis (thankfully). I'm still waiting for either to kick in.

The ACTs I took this past Saturday was... I guess... to just put in one word, good. I found that every section, especially the science section, I ran out of time. My avg of questions left over were like 4-7. I guess that's not bad. But what I'd do is quickly skim the question and try to make a wild educated guess. If there is such a thing. So hopefully I'll be able to pull off a 29.. to 30 in the least. Though on the questions I did answer, I felt very confident on. :)

My life is sort of hectic at the moment and will just continue to become more an more hectic as things get closer to December. I would need to get most of my debut things finished by then and also college apps of course. I decided to make a few college essays in attempts of finding my most powerful one. I wrote my first college essay the night before the first day of school. After a nice writing exercise from Baldwin, I realized what I had to mostly fix. I rewrote it last night and I'm going to take another look tonight. Then hopefully brainstorm good topics, now that I have a better idea of what's appropriate and what will work in my favor.

Today we got our first graded test back in bio. Before, during, and after the test I wasn't nervous or worried. For some reason I had a "whatever" attitude about it. Not "whatever" meaning, "nah I won't study". I did study. 3.5 hours :) And it wasn't the excruciating, can't focus kind of studying. It was well put to use and so the following day I was carefree and no "bio test" was lurking in the back of my mind. My tests strategies usually involve answering questions that I know right away. The kind of answers you can say to yourself before looking at the multiple choices. It was a 95 question test so by the end of the test I found I had 27 unsure answers. More than half I believe were on the front of the scantron and it seemed I was more confident on the back of it. So when we got it back my scantron read 80. I counted the amount of pink lines and counted 19. There was a fair share on the back and front which weirded me out. But anyways, she curved the grades by 10 points since she believed we were put at a disadvantage because it was summer work and it was a six chapters test. So my final grade was a 90. :) AYE. WHO DOES WORRRK. ME. BUT, you-know-who got a 90 and with the additional ten point curve she got a 100. PFT WHATEVER. I'll get her next time.

That's all I can think of for now. :) I'm glad you like college! I'll be visiting Oct 9 around 8 or 9 am to 11am I believe so maybe I can see you? On Oct 8 or 9 kpop stars are coming to New Overpeck Park for Chusok (Moon Harvesting). It's a free concert! But Daisy and I can't go because of college trips. Oh well :) 

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'Ello 'Ello! :)

Just going to debrief on what's been going since last Thursday to now, separating academics and social. Once again, highlighting but trying to go chronologically.  Academics:

Expository Writing: First day felt extremely intimidated by the demands of course (i.e. due dates, finals, etc.). Was a bit concerned that the teacher (he's only a grad student here at RU) was teaching the course. Noticed his swagged out outfits (i.e. bow ties, button-up shirts, nice pants, leather shoes or converse, nice frames), but of course it was obvious he was gay. Not an issue though, of course. Had an assignment due over labor day weekend, but it wasn't bad as I thought. Second day was yesterday and I started to like it. Had to do a sort of "Do Now" assignment and he said he was going to pick people to share their answers. Of course he picks me first. LOL. But I'm glad I got to speak out. Topped off the day with a rough draft essay due next Monday. Joy! -__- Hopefully I'll be okay. (Edit: I think I'm giving my teacher a good impression. He stated that me and three other guys had good examples of writing in a post discussion and an excerpt from my essay. I love writing, as you can tell, so I'm glad this class is off to a good start. Busy, but good.)

General Psych: Teacher is super engaging. Extremely animated and makes class super fun. I mean, psych is already interesting in itself so having an awesome prof adds to the excitement. For some reason though I'm very wide awake during the beginning and end of lecture but something about the middle makes me want to fall asleep. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely interested, but my eyes just want to close.. Grrr. (Edit: I made a new friend in Psych yesterday! She's such a sweet, Chinese girl. Her name is Yuanchi, so I put my very minimal skill of Mandarin to the test. What made my eyes jump was when she told me she was 22. LOL. She's awesome, nonetheless.)

General Bio: My prof is the sweetest, Brit prof ever. She consistently wears yellow (gonna see if she wears it tomorrow), so that kinda brightens my day. You can tell she's passionately about helping kids out, so I'm striving to do well in that class (and all classes overall of course). It’s a lot of reading, as expected, but nothing too bad. We’re starting labs this week, so we’ll see how those go…

Calculus: Alright, here’s the thing. My prof is nice. He is, really. And I know he tries… but not hard enough. He basically goes to class without any lesson plans. Nothing. He just looks at his book and jots problems on the board. The worst part is when people correct him. Yes, some students ask questions/state corrections humbly and with the intent of clearing things up, but others are just simply being smart asses. Yes the prof isn’t the best, but seriously. Give the man respect. Honestly though, my recitation teacher (who’s just a teacher’s assistant) teachers calc better than him. Oh, and did I mention that my prof is a Physics teacher? Yeah, I know.

Byrnes Seminar: Another sweet, Brit lady prof. I swear, I wouldn’t be surprised if her and my bio prof are best friends. Basically this seminar revolves around communication and story-telling and the works of it. It’s seriously fun and enjoyable because we all sit in a circle every time we meet and class discussions are the main focal point of the course, so everyone is pretty active and whatnot. My prof even read a children’s book to us, Where the Wild Things Are, for the first day and we engaged in a really good discussion. I love the atmosphere of the class overall and I truly enjoy attending. 

Social (just going to spit some random things that I pop up in my mind):

Hung out with mostly Laura, Jay Park (love that girl! Like, chincha!), and Abs, specifically this past Friday. Oh, and finally saw Vasundhra when we ate dinner with Marie and Rachel. It was nice seeing more Bergenfield kids.

Had a sleepover at my dorm with Laura. Good heart-to-heart conversations that night.

Been hanging around with the twins I mentioned earlier. They’re such kind people and their sibling relationship is cute. Gotten the chance to hang out in their dorm and grab some dinners and linners (lunch/dinner) for the past few days with a couple of my other floormates.

Speaking of other floormates, I gotten a chance to get closer to these two Hispanic guys (they’re cousins and roomies), one being a classmate from my Expos class (I love John John! Everyone in the floor affectionately calls him that. He’s such a nice guy). Both fun guys. I actually watched a movie in their dorm, which is surprisingly clean for a boys’ dorm (some guys in my floor have some funky odors coming from their room).

Today, or rather yesterday, specifically was when I actually had a very socially-infested day. Basically after dinner with one of the Hispanic cousins and one of the twins (yeah, half of each roomie, lool), a bunch of us just gathered in the main lounge of our floor and just talked and chilled. It was seriously nice, since the environment felt natural and not at all awkward. I really digged it. Afterward, three of the girls from the other side of the floor (the other wing), stopped by my dorm to print something out from my printer since I offered and we chilled the rest of the night while watching Miss Universe (Miss Philippines is beautiful by the way. So gorgeous AND smart). Exchange of numbers and talk… pleasant times. I really love it.

Overall generalization thus far: College is, in my opinion, a lot better than high school. Yes, the work can be overwhelming, but you do get a lot of time to do it. It’s really a matter of how one uses their time, so I feel like I’m learning to not procrastinate and truly value time management (I even finished a rough draft of an essay Sunday in the afternoon, since I started Saturday). With the social aspect, you know I’m not the party type, so I’m truly glad I’ve made friends who aren’t into that kind of stuff, or at least understand that there’s a right and wrong time to do it. You really have to be open in college in order to make friends, because everyone is basically in the same boat as you and you want this experience of sharing the first year together as memorable and fun as possible. I feel that through my past experiences of being in HOBY, Girls’ State and other stuff that I was involved in in high school (especially ones where you have to really interact with other people) truly shaped my social skills. Yes I do feel at times a bit homesick, but you ultimately create a bond with the people you’d eventually call your “second family.” Personally, I think I’m a bit more social and open than Abs (not that I’m judging her), so I feel I’m a bit more adjusted to university life more than her; however from what I see lately, she’s starting to adapt and become open as well, which I’m glad. You do want to keep your old friends from high school, but at the same time, you can’t stick to the past. You need to let yourself go and get the chance to know and befriend more amazing people. That’s what I’m ultimately trying to do, in addition to getting a good education, of course. College is great and I can already say that it’s my home away from home. 

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Updated PP again!

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I added a post to PP. Check it.

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Hey Hey! :)

Don't worry, you'll be clutch in bio. And good luck with everything (test-wise and all). Text me whenever, okay? :) Recap (will try to be short and sweet as possible): 

Monday

Got to RU, got my dorm, met up with the Paz fam. Fams got along just fine. Unpacked and made prelim arrangements to make room look prettyful. 

Ate dinner which took forevs since the parentals were talking for decades. 

Went back to the dorm to say our goodbyes to the fam. I actually teared up (for the third time, LOL). 

Unwound (<--?) at the dorm and decided to meet up with Laura, her roomie and Marie for some dinner. Laur's roommate's name is Jennifer Park, but I call her Jay Park for short. She's my chingoo and I practice my Korean on her! LOL. 

Ate din, chatted it up, went nicely. Walked around and headed back to my dorm to chat some more. Twas a nice gathering for the first night. 

 Tues-Wed (just going to highlight important stuff)

Took my first shower here and met these twin sisters (they look nothing alike). Found them to be very awesome since they play music during the shower and their playlist was pretty sweet. I have little small talks with them and say "hi" when I pass by their dorm on the daily. It's nice. :) I hope to get to know them better as time goes on. 

Hung out with Jay Park, Laur, Marie for those two days. Visited their dorms on Livingston and Busch, respectively. Haha in Marie's dorm her floor is super friendly so a guy across her room asked if we wanted to watch A Walk To Remember in his dorm along with like, 7 other people (guesstimating). So we watched that. Cramped, but it was amusing. 

Met up with more Bergenfield kids (Kathleen, Rachel, KHUSHBOO PATEL!). It was nice seeing them in our new setting. Got to catch up with them over lunch and walking around. Had a floor meeting and met other girls who are from the other wing. Found out I had classes with two of the girls (one of them is my chingoo, if you get my drift, LOL. Oh yeah, more practicing). 

 Prepared for the start of classes on that Thurs. Looked at bus routes and maps to prepare. Even walked/bus-ed to check where the buildings are so I wouldn't get lost. 

Part II coming up! I got to get some shut-eye, but I'll post the rest tomorrow! :)

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Hello hello :)

Okay so I already told you about the whole "bio problem" I have with the people in class which is complete ridiculous. It's been only TWO DAYS. UGH. IRRITATING. But anyways. I'm not packed with homework yet so it's a good thing. Hopefully the ACTs will do me some justice so I don't have to redo them or anything and only have to worry about the SATs and applications. GAH. I feel like life so hard right now. And the rain all week is not helping it at all.