carson h.

I feel you burning under my skin I swear I see you shining brighter than the flame inside your eyes bitter words spoken everything broken it's never too late // 17, male, Savannah, Massachusetts.

[lavender-marcus-deactivated2014]

Oh, I never said your hair wasn’t nice but it’s not perfect yet, still needs a bit of work to get there. Hum, strange if you’d ask me I’d say the most striking thing about you are the moles. I mean there are a lot, and they’re quite lovely.

Come on no self depreciating crap! We were supposed to go get wasted, remember?

[carsonhartfield]

Really? You like the moles? I hated them when I was a kid. I kinda just ignore them now. It's easier that way. Okay, okay, I'll stop. Where are we going, anyway?

[bxeraustin-deactivated20151203]

And they are your best feature. After hair of course.

Mmm…with; let’s just go insane. Walnuts, hot fudge, some ice cream on the side. Whip cream if we have enough room. 

[carsonhartfield]

Thanks, bro. I can always count on you for an ego boost.

Come on Ethan, how long have you known me? You should know by now that there is always enough room for whip cream. When can I come over? I'll bring the cocoa, since your mom never keeps any in the house. Anything else I should pick up?

[blaisemarkovic]

Thanks! You’re such a gentleman, Carson. Ew, you mean fluffy sugar and carbs? I suppose personal tastes have to be compromised when dealing with the opposite sex.

[carsonhartfield]

Anything for you, Blaise. And yeah, I know, they're more than a little bit gross and probably kind of fattening, but they're boys. They like that kind of stuff.

[princethomas]

Pretty much. I have heard that you’re fascinating, though. Something about writing? Or maybe it was riding… I really wasn’t listening. Ah, he’s all good now; back to wagging his tail, I’m sure.

Hey, now. My tea is classier than boiled leaves and fruit. There’s honey in there too. Who are you friends with around here?

College was the best experience I could have asked for. I know exactly where you’re coming from. It’s as if I don’t fit in anyone with the people I once spent my time with, but I can’t find a way out of here. Same reason birds stay in one place when they could fly anywhere, I guess. I’m just…trying to figure out what that reason is.

[carsonhartfield]

I'm honestly not sure what you're talking about, but hey whatever! I could be an interesting person, in your folks's eyes.

Don't worry, I believe you. All tea is a little bit classy, right? I'm friends with Ethan Rosemont, Semmi Park... There's my cousin, Parker Kinsey. I dunno, everybody kinda knows everybody, you know? Who do you associate yourself with?

I know what you mean, I think. This town is the kind of place where once you're here, you're here. You either get out early or you're stuck forever. Not a very enticing idea, but somehow we keep bringing people in. Like I said, I can't wait for college.

[bxeraustin-deactivated20151203]

No, probably wouldn’t look good in a skirt. Think we should leave the dressing up to you, ha. And it’s Drive Angry; we have to be up to par if we’re having brownies. Are you going to make them with fudge? 

[carsonhartfield]

You're right, I'm the only one with the legs for it.

 I'll make them however you like, and I know that means with fudge. The question is, with walnuts or without?

[lavender-marcus-deactivated2014]

Yes, you do. Hair perfection? Have you looked at my hair, love? Now that’s perfection! Come on look at those luscious curls of mine and tell me you don’t feel like running your hands through it. I fucking dare you.

[carsonhartfield]

Your hair? Please. You have nothing on this perfect, artistic masterpiece of soft brown goodness. This is the hair. Everyone loves the hair. Ask any girl in Savannah, she'll say it's my defining feature.

If she even knows who I am, that is.

[bxeraustin-deactivated20151203]

No, I — If my parents come back and find the place trashed that’s going to be last you’ll ever see me. Next time it’ll be a tombstone: here lies the worst son we never wanted. 

[carsonhartfield]

Aw man, Eth, come on, it'd -- fine. But only because you're my best friend.

Anyone else, I'd insist on a big party. For the record, your tombstone would probably say something about your incredible cleaning skills. Remember last time, when you cleaned the mess up all by yourself? You're a regular French maid. Hey, we should get you a uniform. I bet you look good in a skirt. But okay, no party. The two of us, though? Me, you, the best brownies you've ever tasted, the new movie with that blonde you like... It'll be perfect.

[lilspottcr-deactivated20190911]

Chocolate chip and M&M’s. If you can’t do that, chocolate chip would be a just fine substitute. 

[carsonhartfield]

Nah, you got it. I haven't made those in a while, so this should be good. What time can I come over? And uh, where do you live?

[princethomas]

Shit, you…Carson, yeah. Sorry, I’ve only been back in town for a few months, and I haven’t really made much of an effort to get to know anyone. Wren, yeah. Like the bird. My parents gush about you all the time; does that make me a bad person for zoning out the whole time? Yes! Poor thing had to have a cone because he kept biting at it. They’re all cute.

Hey, no judgement here. That’s a quality summer blend you’re talking about. So Carson, now that I can put a face to the name, how do you like the clinic? I love the job, but I honestly just want to get out of here. Go somewhere bigger, maybe try a place where my mother doesn’t bring my laundry to work with her. So humiliating. 

[carsonhartfield]

Nah, not a bad person! If my parents were always telling me how their other kids were doing so much better than I was, I'd zone out too. It's basically the same thing, right? Yeah, he was a cutie. Sprained his tail from wagging it too hard, isn't that what happened? Poor guy.

Wicked, thanks for the no-judge zone. It's nice to relax and have a cup of boiled leaves with fruit without the guys making fun of me.

I really love the clinic. I've been volunteering there a long time, so when they offered to put me on the payroll last year I was so pumped. I kinda know what you mean when you say somewhere bigger. I can't wait to get out of here. It's a nice town, but it's a bit smothering, you know? There's so much history here.

[bxeraustin-deactivated20151203]

You know, pinky swears would be a lot easier than that. 

Alright. Just us though, right? Because my mom will kill me if you use all her baking stuff.

[carsonhartfield]

Just us? Oh, I was thinking we invite some people, maybe some hotties from school, turn this thing into a fun time.

I'll buy my own brownie supplies, I promise. Come on, Eth, it's been ages since there's been a good party in this town.

[princethomas]

Hey, if it’s any consolation, I still haven’t figured myself out, and I’ve lived with myself for twenty-three years. I’ve got anything your heart desires. Tea is a way of life.

What was your name, again?

[carsonhartfield]

Carson. I'm one of the other assistant at the vet's office, but I don't think we've ever crossed paths. I've seen your name and picture on the polaroid wall in the doc's office. Wren, right? You helped out that adorable lab with the sprained tail? He was a cutie.

Thanks again for the offer of tea, by the way! I'll take something herbal and fruity, with a little bit of honey. Don't laugh at me.

[bxeraustin-deactivated20151203]

Alright, it got me a little flustered. 

Shut up though, you’re still the only one who knows I did that. But yeah, now I want some cookies. Maybe we could just throw a party and make some brownies too.

[carsonhartfield]

Don't worry bro, my lips are sealed. Your secrets are safe with me. Cross my heart and hope to die. Stick a needle in my eye.

You know I can't turn down a party. Or an opportunity to bake. This weekend? Rager at the Rosemont house?

[lavender-marcus-deactivated2014]

You have bed hair. Sex hair would be acceptable, bed hair is just…bad.

[carsonhartfield]

I do NOT have bed hair. This is hair perfection. I can't believe you'd say that about my hair.

[lavender-marcus-deactivated2014]

Yeah anything to escape jail time. Find a shirt without a stupid logo on and jeans that actually fit. Oh and please do your hair.

[carsonhartfield]

Wow, harsh. What's wrong with my hair?

[bxeraustin-deactivated20151203]

I think that’s the worst pick-up line yet.

Sure. Just don’t make me squeal again. And I’m not nibbling them like an actual guinea pig.

[carsonhartfield]

I'm not very smooth. You know that. I thought that was one of my better attempts. You know I love making you squeal, Ethan.

You know it's my only choice. If there aren't girl scouts in the area, this is my last resort.

[blaisemarkovic]

Oooooh, fifteen? So he’s, like, older. I don’t think I’ve met them, but don’t tell them how old I am. I don’t want them to have preconceived notions about me just because of my age. Besides, I’m much more mature than the other girls in my grade.

[carsonhartfield]

I know you are, don't worry. I won't say a thing. I hope you like marshmallows, though, they bought ten packs at the store earlier.

[lavender-marcus-deactivated2014]

Or we could just make out, that always seems to be an excellent distraction in movies. You could, if you change clothes and if you follow my lead. Your Yoda I will be on this drunken adventure.

[carsonhartfield]

Oh, wow. Hey, whatever works, right? Alright, what should I wear? What makes a guy look old enough to drink? Okay, Yoda, I'm your willing student. Teach me your ways.