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@carter-oland
text: preston → carter
Preston: shut up
Preston: can u at least come here & help me deal w this
Preston: b a decent bf
Carter: what do i get in return?
Carter: jk :) i don't want anything in return don't get mad
Carter: i'll be there after lacrosse lifting babe
Carter: do you want me to pick you up something to eat?
text: preston → carter
Preston: ur seriously the worst
Preston: i dont kno y i keep u
Preston: i just told u i might be
Preston: & ur second q is is it safe to sex
Preston: idk y i call u my bf
Carter: :) love you too
Carter: my seconds question probably involve something about that but idr
Carter: bc we have sex a lot and i get you ice cream
Carter: that's just boyfriend material.
text: preston → carter
Preston: ya but i dont like talking about it
Preston: i will u kno that
Preston: ugh why r u the worst
Preston: i dont like u
Carter: okay its not that big of a deal
Carter: im sorry i didnt mean that at all!!
Carter: so like are we cleared to have sex yet inwas gonna ask you to come overrrrr
Carter: obvs still can but like wanted to have sex :))
Carter: love u
text: preston → carter
Preston: u didnt need 2 kno about my bodys girl shit
Preston: id rather wait a few days 2 c if it comes or not
Preston: thats better 4 me tbh
Preston: whats an obgyn supposed 2 do?? i c someone about this stuff already
Preston: hey i love u too asshole
Carter: i wanna know so i can help and look out for you.
Carter: let me know?
Carter: well an obgyn can help stop making it work like that right? Like working like a vagina
Carter: shit bad word bad word
Carter: i love you so much im sorry
text: preston → carter
Preston: i didnt rly feel like sharing that info okay
Preston: no bc im hoping its just late. & buying that shit is a no go
Preston: ya i kno but I cant take this kind of risk this scared the fuck out of me
Carter: well we are dating. And i want to know if i could potentially be sharing a fathership with someone!!
Carter: i can buy it for you if you think you need it.
Carter: you should go to the obgyn and get that shit sorted out.
Carter: no more risks. I love you and im not going to fuck your life up
Carter: well that much.
text: preston → carter
Preston: bc i should be!!
Preston: w the patches ill still get spotty ones but if i switch 2 the shots theyll be gone
Preston: shots cn damage the liver tho & id like 2 live so if u want sex were using the condoms 4 the future
Carter: well fuck preston, you didn't tell me that
Carter: did you take a test?
Carter: i don't have a problem using condoms. i just enjoyed fucking you without anything holding us back ;)
text: preston → carter
Preston: yeah.... i kno
Preston: thats a problem
Preston: we need 2 start using those asap
Preston: & im gonna hope its just late or gone 4 good
Carter: i mean you told me that you'd be good!
Carter: there are condoms in my underwear drawer but like, maybe this is just a scare
Carter: does it go away for good? like, is that something that actually happens?
text: preston → carter
Preston: so..
Preston: dont think we need to worry bout this but that girl thing my body does is missing???
Preston: rly hoping its the hormones....
Carter: what
Carter: what girl thing
Carter: oh fuck
Carter: okay wait a SECOND WAIT
Carter: dude we have never used a condom?
bad news | creston
The worst part about the entire situation was that the rational part of Preston knew that Carter was being genuine, that he was trying his absolute best to just express his feelings for the boy without sounding like Grant once had. The problem was that even if Carter was being honest, Preston couldn’t believe him. Not right now. Grant’s words were too heavily influencing his mind right now, and everything just felt wrong. He wanted to go and hide under his blankets, to make it so that Carter couldn’t touch him and hurt him like Grant had, and Preston knew that this was just so backwards but he couldn’t get himself out of the mindset. “I don’t believe you.” It felt like the hardest thing to say those words, but when Preston did, it was almost like the realisation that he really didn’t believe that Carter was being genuinely honest when he said that all he wanted was for Preston to be happy and safe. When Carter reached forward to return the phone, Preston took it, his hand shaking so hard that he was barely able to hold onto the device as he tried to put it into the pocket of his hoodie. It was a struggle, but by the time he managed, Carter was reaching for his wrist and panic was rising within the boy. “N-no,” he breathed out, pulling back from Carter’s grip before the boy could securely link their hands together. He shifted, crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive manner as he looked at Carter. “I — I can take care of myself. Just…please don’t…” He didn’t know what else he could say in this moment now that Preston was fucking everything up. Grant had gotten into his head, twined himself into all those terrible memories that he didn’t want to revisit and dragged them to the surface. The reminders of Carter outing him in a similar manner to how Grant had was influencing him again, and Preston didn’t want to be touched by someone that he wasn’t sure was even there because he genuinely cared about him. He backed up, steps shaky, and when his foot hit the corner of the coffee table, he jolted, tripping over himself as a startled sob escaped his lips. As he fell to the floor, Preston curled upon himself, wiping at his eyes because it didn’t hurt, but he felt like he was scared of everything right now and all he wanted was for it to stop. “I”m fine,” he choked out, his voice wavering as he tried to convince himself of the impossible.
Being hit with a ball in lacrosse hurt. Watching Preston breakdown emotionally and physically hurt. The fact that there was nothing he could possibly say or do to make him feel better was one of the worst things he had ever seen in his life. Someone had broken him so far down, and there were so many emotions that were just gathered up for so many years. Carter didn't know how he handled it and let them all seep out like this. It wasn't slowly falling apart, everything was exploding all at once now. I don't believe you. It was one of the most hurtful and negative things that Preston had ever said to him, but it wasn't something that he found unnecessarily mean. It was the truth, and something that this boy felt strongly enough about to express. But what even worse came when the boy didn't even let him touch him with the softest finger touches. There was nothing that was going to get him to be the slightest bit trusting, and that angered Carter too much. Someone was fucking with his boyfriend, and he needed to find out who it was. He wasn't going to snoop, no, but he would find out who it was. He watched Preston open his phone one too many times, and finding out the name of this asshole was only going to make Carter that much more angry. He would do something about it, and he was almost positive that the boy would end up in a hospital after he was done. "I don't know what else I can do to show you that I'm here for you and I'm--" Preston didn't fall because he tripped, he fell because he was breaking. Carter closed his eyes for a second before he slowly made his way to the sofa and sat down, putting his head in his hands as he tried to think of a solution. "Let me help you, Preston. He's fucking with you! Can't you see that I'm just trying to help you?" His voice was raised in the frustration that this boy was actually sobbing because of another person. A person who didn't see the beauty and complexity that Preston actually was. It pissed Carter off to no end, and he couldn't even put into words the anger that boiled in him. "Preston, let me fucking help you. You're not fine at all, and even I'm not stupid enough to believe that. Don't tell yourself that, either. You're not fine, and you need someone to help you. Don't fucking fight that shit off just because you want to be strong. You've been strong for seventeen fucking years, and sometimes, people break down. And people are beaten down, and sometimes it really fucking hurts. But you're allowed to not be strong sometimes. You're allowed to ask me for comfort, because I'm willing to hold you." Carter couldn't see Preston because he was on the other side of the sofa, on the floor, where Carter was sitting on the edge, away from him like he had wanted. "You're allowed to sob and you're allowed to text that guy and tell him how you truly feel instead of telling him to fuck off or whatever else you're saying. You're allowed to not trust me, but you're not allowed to push me away when you know you need me the most. I won't let that happen. So, as a good boyfriend should," His voice cracked at the emotion that was pushed into his lengthy words. "I'm staying on this couch all fucking night, so you can crawl up to your bed and hide away in the covers like you do when you're sad, and I'll be right here. I'm not moving no matter how much you want me to."
bad news | creston
There were so many things that Preston wanted to say but he had no idea how to even begin speaking again. He wanted to run away from this situation entirely, but at the same time Preston wanted to tell Carter how scared of him he was, how he was terrified that Carter would do the same to him as Grant once had. “Those words,” he breathed out, not looking at Carter as he shuddered. He was surprised that he hadn’t completely broken at this point, especially since the feeling of being trapped was coupled with the terror that Carter would hurt him like he had the last time before they were together. It wouldn’t be surprising, especially considering how their relationship had started in the first place. “H-he was nice at first too and then….” Preston shuddered, trying to keep from saying too much about what Grant had done to him. They never really talked about it and Preston hadn’t even discussed this with the therapist that he’d been required to see after the lawsuit and the court orders. This wasn’t a conversation he ever wanted to have, especially now when he was starting to doubt if Carter was even as honest as Preston had hoped he was. “He was nice but it was fake and I don’t know how to — if I believe that you’re being honest with me and it’s not all just you trying to…” Preston shook his head as he pushed himself up onto his feet, body shaking as he looked at Carter for just a second before glancing away. “I n-need to not be here — with you. I need my phone and just…” Preston didn’t know what he needed anymore, but he felt the tears forming in his eyes and he wasn’t going to cry, not now. Right now he just needed to get away from Carter before things got worse.
"I mean those words." Carter felt defenseless, in all of the ways possible. His words weren't harsh, but they were very much bold and meaningful, and he wouldn't doubt them if he tried. Of course, Preston was in no position to trust him; there had been the boyfriend before him, and then there had been himself. He hadn't really given the best track record as a person, but he had hoped he had somewhat proven himself as a boyfriend in the past few weeks. He truly cared for Preston's well-being, and in moments like these, they all seemed to just go downhill. There must have been a trigger, because he didn't know how the boy felt so taken advantage of and weak. "And then he realized you were too good for him, Preston. Do you hear me? You're too good for him." He didn't want to say too much. There had already been enough, and Carter was tired of seeing his boyfriend in so much agonizing, emotional pain. When the boy stood up, Carter looked at him with comforting eyes and a fearful heart. He didn't know what the boy was planning on doing for the rest of the night, but it would obviously include being alone. "I don't want you to believe me right now, you don't have to trust me, even. Just... I want you to happy, and feel like you're safe. I need you safe." Carter stood up, as well, grabbing the phone from the table without looking at it and holding it in his hands. "Come on, we're just going upset. Here," He handed the boy his phone, knowing that he'd come into contact with a shaky limb. "Let me take you upstairs." His voice was soft now, letting his fingers drape around the boy's wrist, gently touching his fingers and letting them slide together. "Will you let me do that? I can start a shower for you, if you'd like. But I think you need to rest a little."
bad news | creston
The second that Carter’s hands clamped around his wrists, Preston’s panic increased tenfold. He needed to be out of the hold, away from Carter’s touch completely, and at that point he started twisting his wrists desperate to get away. “Let go,” he breathed out, struggling against the hold. “Carter let go.” His voice was strained already, filled with the panic that was slowly taking hold of his entire body, and Preston didn’t know how he hadn’t managed to run from this situation yet. It was because of that damn phone. The boy had no idea what Carter would be able to read from the lock screen alone, and that thought terrified him, as Grant could be sending messages that just confirmed all of Preston’s fears and Carter could just laugh along with them. Preston’s fear only rose as Carter continued to speak, and were there any rational thoughts left in his mind, he would’ve been able to realise that Carter was only saying these things in a sincere tone rather than what his brain was trying to imply. The second Carter mentioned love, Preston tensed, and he tugged his wrists out of Carter’s grip, wrapping his arms around himself. “Don’t lie to me,” he breathed out, voice tight and anxious. Were he not shaking so badly, Preston would’ve climbed off of the couch and bolted to his room, locking the door behind him. As it was, he could barely convince himself to back into the corner of the couch away from Carter. “You’ve — you already hurt me before, and you’re doing it now too. You’re going to hurt me again and be just like him and I’m…” Preston sucked in a sharp breath of air. “I can’t… I can’t go through that again just please stop. Stop pretending.”
And just like that, Carter was completely thrown in the deep end. Where was all of this coming from? Was this... was this something he would have to deal with regularly? He knew that Preston was sensitive, and that wasn't even bad. Preston knew what he wanted, but wasn't one to show emotion unless something was truly bothering him. This was a whole new level of panic. Carter let go; he let go just like he had been instructed to do, and he stared at his boyfriend with the most concerned eyes that he could ever give. His heart hung in his chest when Preston brought up the fact that he was lying. Carter knew that he shouldn't have said something, but he couldn't help it-- the words had already been thrown out, and there was just something so wrong about this situation already. "I-- why do you think I'm lying to you?" The boy was in full on panic mode, and Carter backed away because he couldn't bare to think of what could happen if he tried to get close again. "I," He licked his lips, shaking his head and knowing that the boy was just hurt. That's it, he was bruised and scarred and needed some space. "You think I'm pretending right now? You think that I do everything I do for you because I'm lying to you?" Carter knew it wasn't about him-- he knew that he was involved, and that was completely shredding his heart into millions of pieces. His boyfriend was upset over someone that Carter couldn't stand because of the things that had been said. "You're my number one priority right now, Preston, do you not understand that? I-- you," He shook his head, not wanting to say anything to irrational right now. Preston was upset, and that was that. Nothing else was going to be said. "At least let me take you upstairs to bed or something." His voice was softer now, a little less frustrated with the fact that the boy wouldn't at least trust his word. "I just want to make sure you're up there and, like, safe. Warm. God, I don't know. I won't touch you."
bad news | creston
The more that Preston wanted to say that the situation didn’t matter, the more he knew that Carter was going to know just how much the situation actually was effecting him. Carter didn’t know who was texting him, and Preston wanted to keep it that way, but with the boy rejecting Preston’s insistent remarks that things were fine, it was obvious that Carter didn’t believe him. He wanted to make things go back to how they were before, with Carter focusing his attention on the television instead of Preston’s unusual behaviour. Really, Preston wanted to go back to when he got the first text and make it so that he’d deleted it instead of answered Grant, because if he hadn’t acknowledged his ex, he might not start having second guesses about his current boyfriend. His trust issues were getting stronger with ever with every passing minute, and Preston was almost certain that he didn’t want Carter to know what Grant had been texting him or anything about his psychopathic ex. When Carter mentioned that he didn’t want to hurt him, Preston didn’t understand at first, but when the boy reached for his phone, panic began to rise within the boy. “No, Carter - Carter don’t,” he breathed out quickly, his grip tightening on the phone. Even though Carter was promising him that he wouldn’t read his texts, that didn’t manage to still the panic within Preston. If anything, the anxiety rose at the mere idea of Carter even holding his phone and seeing any of the disgusting things that Grant was saying about him. “Just give it back. Please give it back.” His entire body was shaking and despite knowing that Carter was doing this to try and help him, Preston was still downright terrified that Carter would read the texts and know what was going on. Worse, that Carter would read the texts and tell him that the things that Grant was saying were true. He knew that the things that Carter was currently saying to him were supposed to be supportive and helpful, but honestly, Preston wasn’t even sure what the boy was saying. His mind wasn’t registering that Carter was speaking to him because his only focus was on getting the phone back. He reached forward, trying to grab the device off of the coffee table so that he could keep it away from Carter, so that the boy wouldn’t read his texts. “Please,” he begged. “It’s fine, I’m fine, just please.”
Panic. It was all panic. Preston was out of his mind-- so upset over something that he didn't even have a clue to what it was. As Carter had taken the phone from him, he felt the boy's pain for the phone to be back in his grip. He didn't want the boy to read the messages and was scared that he would find out something horrible. Carter wasn't going to break him, and that wasn't what this was about. He just needed him to be away from the phone long enough to calm down and register that he was safe and in the best hands possible. "Preston, it's okay," He mumbled out, trying to grab the boy's wrists and keep a firm grip on them. "I don't know your password, I'm not going to read them. You don't need that, shh," He was trying his best, but his boyfriend just wouldn't let up with the pleads, and Carter knew that he would have to figure something else out. "I'm not letting you have it back until you tell me what's going on, because it's not fine. You're shaking, babe." Carter's voice was sympathetic, and hopefully warm like a blanket. His eyes were creased from worry, and he needed to figure out what was going on. Preston was never one to tell his true feelings, but Carter knew that he had a breaking point even if it was very, very far down the road. "Look, whatever's going on won't make me love you less." He wanted Preston to look at him, focus on what was in front of him, rather than what he had read prior. "Look at me." His hand want to hold the boy's knee, turning them closer as he went to push some hair front he boy's forehead. "Please. You know I'm not going to hurt you."
bad news | creston
"I said I’m fine, okay?" Preston breathed out as he looked up at Carter, unable to look at him for more than a second before he looked away. He knew that his boyfriend was definitely worried about him, but Preston couldn’t seem to find it in himself to try and express that things were alright, even though they weren’t. He felt like he needed to bury himself beneath blankets and fade away for a week before he faced anyone again, let alone Carter. "It’s…it’s nobody," he said slowly before he closed his eyes, sucking in a breath of air. "It doesn’t matter, everything’s fine." He didn’t believe the words any more than he knew that Carter did, and Preston knew that it mean that his boyfriend wouldn’t stop asking about what was going on. Preston was shutting down on Carter and that much was obvious. It was surprising, actually, that it had taken Carter this long to realise it, but Preston was glad that it had. He locked his phone, ignoring that it was buzzing in his hand to signal that a new text had arrived. Preston wasn’t going to answer it, not this time. Carter had caught on and Preston already felt like every part of him was trying to shut down on the boy, so if he answered the texts now, Carter would certainly know that something even worse than Preston was refusing to admit was going on. "It’s nothing, okay?" Preston said quickly as he shifted to try and curl up in a tighter ball. "Everything’s fine, Carter,” he emphasised, but the second that the phone buzzed again, Preston’s eyes were glued to the device, reading the bit of text from Grant. The boy’s words made Preston sick and he wanted to shut the device off and ignore everything, but he couldn’t convince himself to do that.
Carter couldn't listen to half of the stuff that Preston was saying anymore, because he knew it was all lies. He wasn't fine at all. There was nothing fine about him. He was obviously in pain, a mental struggle that was just growing every time he looked at his phone. "It's somebody, Preston." He argued, remembering to keep at least the smallest bit sympathetic, because he wasn't about to push Preston away. Carter was going to keep Preston as close as he could, because they had done so much work to keep them close. Now everything seemed to be falling apart at the seams. The phone started to buzz again, and Carter couldn't help but want to just grab it from his clutch. He was being pushed away further and further, and from the body language, they couldn't be further away right now. They were almost on either side of the couch, and that was just uncomfortable. "I don't want to hurt you right now," He leaned across the couch, grabbing the phone and locking it. The boy's grip was on it as well, but he just wanted to take it and throw it and keep it away from him. "I'm not going to read them," He told him confidently, looking into his eyes, wanting to know that they were trustworthy and he knew that this boy needed some sort of stability. Carter just wanted to know what was going on, but he wasn't going to snoop. They needed to grow in their own relationship and to trust each other. He would wait for Preston to tell him what was going on, and that would just have to be the end of it. Carter set the phone on the coffee table, looking at his boyfriend with the most sympathetic look, wanting so much to kiss him and love on him and tell him he was safe. "Whatever is going on, doesn't make you an awful person. You're beautiful, and you're amazing, and I couldn't," Carter caught himself from using the word he swore he wouldn't use yet. The big one. "Look, I care about you so much, and I don't know what's going on, but I'm your boyfriend and I want to help you. Please let me help you."
bad news | creston
Preston should’ve known that the second he pulled away from Carter, the boy was going to react to it, but honestly, he wasn’t even remotely focused on his boyfriend at the moment. His eyes were glued to the screen, trying to focus on the device because if Preston looked away he wasn’t guaranteed to not cry. Carter’s initial touch had merely had Preston shifting away, but when he felt the boy’s foot press against his, Preston jolted, letting out a strained breath of air before he forced himself to calm down. He pulled his feet up onto the couch, shifting to try and keep himself away from Carter’s touch completely as he rushed a quick glance towards Carter’s direction, gaze not staying out of genuine worry that he’d start breaking down over something so stupid as his ex trying to ruin his life once again. “It’s —it’s no one,” he said quickly, as if that could ignore the fact that he kept getting messages that varied from vaguely threatening to borderline abuse with each new mention of a new message. “It’s fine. I’m fine.” It was obvious that Preston was lying. He didn’t even believe the words were coming out of his mouth, how did he expect Carter to believe them? It was obvious that he was currently a mess, and Preston was trying to keep it so that he didn’t seem like he was, but there was only so much that the boy could do to hide it. He closed his eyes, inhaling a breath as he tried to not back away from Carter touching him. It was difficult to not immediately back away from the boy’s touch, but Preston was trying so hard to not listen to Grant’s words and second-guess all of the good things that had happened to him since Carter had become a permanent staple of his life. He managed to last a few seconds before he moved his leg, the action jittery as he backed out of Carter’s touch again.
Honestly, Carter was very taken back by the motions and body language that were coming from Preston. Why was he being so distant? This hadn't happened in months, and that was obviously before they were dating. He could tell he was trying to stay calm, but he didn't really know how to do it. Carter just stared at him for a few minutes, and wondered who was causing him that much pain and stress. "Babe, what's going on?" Carter's voice was soft, his hand moving towards the remote on the other side of him so he could pause the movie. The way that Preston was so easily frightened and spooked was making him so much more curious as to who he had been talking to. "You aren't fine. Who are you talking to?" Carter didn't want to press anything or make Preston uncomfortable. Everything just seemed so restrained, and Carter couldn't understand what had changed in the past hour. They were just cuddling and joking around, and then Preston got on his phone and everything went to shit, really. Carter wondered if someone had posted photos-- if someone was being a jerk and saying things about him, and he wanted to know if he could help. But when his leg was moved again, Carter's eyebrows just furrowed even further. "Okay, what the hell?" His voice wasn't angry at all, it was a little more hurt than anything. He was worried that he had done something wrong, and he wanted to know what was going on. "Are you going to let me see your phone? I'm worried, Pres. What's going on right now? Did I do something?"
bad news | creston
The text messages that Preston had been receiving throughout the course of the movie that he was watching with Carter were making him more and more antsy with every passing second. It wasn’t that he was giving Grant any credit in terms of the words that he was saying, but the more that he was reminded about the fact that he wasn’t who he wanted to be and that Carter could possibly be interested in this relationship just for the sake of his own personal reasons rather than actually wanting to be with Preston, the more unsteady the boy felt. He wasn’t even sure what was going on in the film anymore, not even certain that he had caught on in the first place, but when he felt Carter’s hand rest on his leg, Preston immediately moved backwards, pressing himself up against the corner of the couch. His phone buzzed again, another text from that regrettably familiar number, and Preston dreaded the mere idea of opening the text and reading what the boy had to say. He hated everything about this situation, because whenever Grant found him again and started harassing him, it always ended in Preston feeling anxious and uncomfortable to the point where he needed to lock himself in his room for a few days and possibly do self-destructive things to his body in order to try and find some relief from the abuse. He didn’t want to bring any of that to Carter’s attention, but at this point he wasn’t even trying to pay attention to the movie they were watching. His hands trembled a little bit as he unlocked the phone, trying to type out a response to Grant to make him go away, his full attention on the device in his hands instead of his boyfriend.
Saturday nights usually consisted of him hanging out at Preston's all day after lacrosse games and watching movies, getting take-out, and possibly a little sexual interaction after that, if he was lucky. Today seemed to be going pretty well, and each of them were full after their full meals of Japanese take-out had been cleaned out. The movie they were watching hadn't been quite captivating, and Carter could obviously tell by the amount of attention that Preston was keeping on his phone. It wasn't very often that Preston was attached to his phone, but when he was, it was usually something very important. Carter decided to distract him some more with his own hand that reached out to grab his leg, but when he was denied the touch, Carter honestly felt a little rejected. His head turned towards the boy who was moved into the side of the couch, and watched him closely as the phone kept lighting up and the boy's fingers kept trembling. He wondered who was doing this to him, but he wasn't going to ask about it. Not yet. Preston would back away and panic and start to lie to him, and he knew because that kind of shit happened all the time when he got upset. He closed up, he became so cold, and he knew that it was so he couldn't get hurt. "Who are you talking to?" Carter asked quietly, moving so his foot would rub against Preston's in a calming way that he hoped wouldn't scare him off. "Why are you closing up, babe? Is someone hurting you?" He tried to reach for the boy's thigh again, hoping this time it would be accepted.
social casualty || creston
Preston couldn’t help the small smile that crossed his lips as he looked at Carter. It was weird to think that only a few weeks ago, they weren’t even friends, and now here they were, sharing firsts and talking about things in a committed relationship. It was unusual to Preston, mainly because he’d never had something like this before. The last relationship that he’d been in had been a nightmare and this was so different and so refreshing that Preston didn’t want anything less. Now that he had Carter, even if the boy frustrated him sometimes, he wouldn’t give him up. The outing at school had almost been a blessing, now that Preston were to think about it, and he never thought that he’d consider someone choosing to out him as a benefit to his life. “Next time,” Preston agreed softly, a smile spreading across his lips before he shifted to rest his hand on Carter’s cheek as he kissed him. When he pulled back, Preston relaxed into the feeling of Carter gently touching his thigh. “I’ll be alright,” he told Carter softly. “It’s just sore. It’ll fade away within the next day or two.” As Carter launched into his story, Preston couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped his lips. “I appreciate that you’ve been doing research, but don’t worry about anything like that, okay? I don’t have any special ways to refer to my genitalia at the moment, but I’ll call you out if you use female terms to reference them.” He shifted back down onto the bed when Carter crawled on top of him, and Preston tightened his grip on Carter’s hand, looking up at the boy with a light smile. “Oh, of course you will,” he told Carter, his lips quirking as his smile grew. “Also, you just got laid. Don’t push it.” Preston pushed himself upwards so he could press his lips to Carter’s, slowly kissing him as he put all of his focus on the boy instead of anything else that could try and invade his mind.
Carter knew that Preston had gone through a difficult relationship before, but they had never talked in depth about it. He was just waiting for the boy to open up for himself, instead of casually bringing it up. It was just nice to sit and talk and stare at someone who you thought was the most beautiful person in the world, and Carter couldn't stop staring. "Well, if you feel any pain, don't be afraid to tell me." Carter said quietly, nodding his head a little to make sure the boy knew he was serious. Even though Preston was trans, and he wasn't ashamed to talk about it, Carter was going to do everything in his power to try and understand how he felt from reading online and doing his own research. It was all new to him, and he couldn't completely understand it all in his own mind, but he was going to appreciate it. "I'll just talk about your huge, intimidating cock that I want to suck and fuck," His words were over-exaggerated and humorous as he sucked harshly on the boys neck for effect. He laughed against his skin as he then kissed up the boy's neck and looked at him with a raised eyebrow and playful smirk. "It feels nice saying that I just got laid by my boyfriend." He put his hands under the boy's frame, almost hugging him closer as he let out a sigh. "I'm glad you let me see you. The real you, I mean. So vulnerable, so beautiful." Carter pushed himself away, feeling oddly hungry as he almost pushed himself off of the bed and let his feet touch the floor. "C'mon, Prince, all that sexual energy made me hungry, and not for your body." Carter started to pull the boy from the bed and kiss at his arm when he pulled. "I don't think anyone's downstairs." He let go of the boy's arm to turn around and start walking downstairs, not wanting it to seem like they were coming together if there were people downstairs.
social casualty || creston
A light smile crossed Preston’s lips as he opened his eyes to look at Carter for a moment. This was nice, a quiet post-sex moment that he needed, especially after the discomfort that had plagued him throughout the actions. “Why wouldn’t there be a next time?” he asked softly. “I mean, it wasn’t great, but you’re my boyfriend and I don’t think that…an uncomfortable first time is going to stop me from having sex with you again. If things continue to be as bad as they just were though…” Preston shrugged, biting down on his lip. “We’ll see what happens from there.” The mere concept of Carter telling him that he wasn’t in love with him yet but that there was potential was still a scary fact to Preston, and he didn’t want to mention anything in regards to it. If anything, he wanted that entire conversation to stop completely, because there wasn’t love involved and there wouldn’t be for a long while, or at least he hoped. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Carter to love him, because he did. He wanted to feel that way for Carter, to fall in love with his boyfriend and have the feelings returned, but the word love had never settled well with the boy. Last time it had been directed towards him, it was in a negative manner, accompanied with emotional and physical abuse to remind him that he wasn’t the person he needed to be in order to actually be accepted. That reminder weighed heavily in Preston’s mind, and he didn’t want to think about it any longer, let alone acknowledge what Carter was saying and how different that was to last time. Instead, Preston focused on Carter’s touches, on ignoring the pain that he was feeling from the unpleasant sexual encounter that he had just experienced. A laugh escaped Preston’s lips when Carter asked him about calling his genitalia something else. “I don’t think I’ve ever actually thought about that,” he admitted as he shifted slowly to curl up closer to Carter. “I mean, if you start calling it an actual name I think I’d die laughing before you could even finish the sentence, but…” Preston shrugged weakly. “Just don’t call it, like — I know what I have, what I’m stuck with. Don’t remind me of what it is, and then I don’t mind.” He closed his eyes, shifting to reach for Carter’s hand so he could just tangle their fingers together. “Just…treat me like your boyfriend, okay?” he mumbled. “Don’t think about me as trans, don’t make it seem like I’m abnormal. I’m just me.”
Carter couldn't help but laugh a little bit as he buried his face in his hands, only shaking his head. "We can never seem to get anything right, can we?" He uncovered his face just to look at his boyfriend's own. "A next time will be much better, I promise." His lips attached to his face again, but then moved a little not to crowd him or overpower him with touches and large amounts of attention. When Preston just didn't reply to him, he noticed that he seemed a little uncomfortable about the topic. Carter seemed to fall too fast, and maybe that was what was happening, but he couldn't be entirely sure. Instead, he just wanted everything to kind of be over about it. It was time to move on and get their bound feelings back. It was nice to just lay in bed with someone he really, really cared about for once. He wished that he hadn't hurt his boyfriend, and wondered if he would need medical attention based on it. The rawness was pretty severe, and he didn't want to cause anymore pain. "If you don't feel better in a couple days, you'll need to go to the hospital, babe." He commented on the pain, his hand caressed his boyfriend's inner thigh as he kissed him and looked at the boy's surprised laughter. "I didn't mean like, a name. I meant, just another word for it." He shifted a little on the bed and leaned against the boy's legs. "I read this thing where a male to female wanted his partner to refer to having sex with him as like, 'fucking his pussy'." Carter blushed a little bit, but continued to chew on the inside of his cheek. "No, I don't think of you as trans at all, babe. I just-- you're special, and I want you to be happy. I've been saying that all along." He smiled, and grabbed onto the hand that was interlacing between his as he pushed Preston back onto the bed and climbed on top of him again, pushing his leg between Preston's. "I will treat you like the royalty you are." He joked, rolling his eyes a little before leaning down and kissing him. "But that's only after you suck my dick like, really good. I don't take anything less."
