GIVE OUT @casimirpulaskiday - Tumblr Blog

HI FRIENDS I AM MOVING

it has been a good run on this blog. it’s nearly a third as old as i am and it’s time for me to move on.

i will be archiving this blog soon so some new and hopefully worthy soul can take the name ‘casimirpulaskiday’ and get as many followers as god knows i got starting out purely from the name.

you will be able to find me from now on at CUTESEANCE.TUMBLR.COM.

i’ll still be here! just want to start kind-of-fresh. i will probably not post about the same things on my new blog—want to keep it cleaner than i have this one. a big issue i’ve had with this one is i’ve tended to make a lot of gushy posts that i quickly delete. i want to exercise a little more restraint from now on. ok! that’s it! thanks!

casimirpulaskiday

nice of you to follow this blog but i am moved! please follow that one! CUTE SEANCE is the name of the tenuous music project i hope to soon make a bigger thing with my trusty familiar, miguel. it is also a cute communion with otherworldly spirits and i think it's apt to use as a blog title. i've been reading marlowe's dr. faustus and it's making me think i should rename it CUTE NECROMANCY let me know what you think???

casimirpulaskiday

HI FRIENDS I AM MOVING

it has been a good run on this blog. it’s nearly a third as old as i am and it’s time for me to move on.

i will be archiving this blog soon so some new and hopefully worthy soul can take the name ‘casimirpulaskiday’ and get as many followers as god knows i got starting out purely from the name.

you will be able to find me from now on at CUTESEANCE.TUMBLR.COM.

i’ll still be here! just want to start kind-of-fresh. i will probably not post about the same things on my new blog—want to keep it cleaner than i have this one. a big issue i’ve had with this one is i’ve tended to make a lot of gushy posts that i quickly delete. i want to exercise a little more restraint from now on. ok! that’s it! thanks!

HI FRIENDS I AM MOVING

it has been a good run on this blog. it's nearly a third as old as i am and it's time for me to move on.

i will be archiving this blog soon so some new and hopefully worthy soul can take the name 'casimirpulaskiday' and get as many followers as god knows i got starting out purely from the name.

you will be able to find me from now on at CUTESEANCE.TUMBLR.COM.

i'll still be here! just want to start kind-of-fresh. i will probably not post about the same things on my new blog—want to keep it cleaner than i have this one. a big issue i've had with this one is i've tended to make a lot of gushy posts that i quickly delete. i want to exercise a little more restraint from now on. ok! that's it! thanks!

also why I have clung to past relationships of any kind--certain people made me feel certain ways and when that was taken away there was a literal deficit that I had to find other ways to fill and often the ways I found were pretty harmful to me

I'm addicted to feelings and can't be satisfied just having a good feeling for a little bit, I have a compulsion to feel good and will do anything to keep feeling good and it takes a lot for me to let it go which is why I'm never gonna mess with hard drugs ! I already know I would get involved in that pretty fast and it would spiral quickly

pondwitch

casimirpulaskiday

wow yeah

it is thoughts like ‘I will never be as beautiful as ’ that drive me to do this to me :

no : it is only that ‘I will never be as beautiful as ' :

it is only that which gets me mad at myself : it is only this yearning to be the perfect woman who is impossible to ever stop loving : who is a muse : who can never embarrass : who looks good in any light : who would have been invited there : who maybe was there : and don’t you ever think that maybe she : don’t you ever wish that maybe she : don’t you ever want her to maybe : : : :: : : : :: : :

I don’t want you to but in my mind you already do : and it makes me cry picturing you doing it : I stay up late at night picturing it : I am so damaged by what he did that I picture you see this her like : I picture he saw that her : and I stay late in myself : I stay the child : she fucks with me : I dream she fucks me : I would rather that than : I would fuck that than : I am crying : I saw her the night I wanted to end : after I wanted to end : I dreamed her in all ways with you : I dreamed you both and I was gone : awoke and wanted to be gone : wanted to be her or gone : then went out in night and saw her : as it would happen : it always happens : came to myself : waited for you : went from myself again : and being a woman could say none of it : being a woman protecting a woman could not :

she looks better in that thing : she looks better in : and her voice does not do that thing you hate : which you probably hate :

#typed this all on tumblr app 4:30am and crying #things get very hard for me sometimes

the feeling when u wake up from a long sick-sleep feeling rested and a little better :-) :-)