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@casseyeyey
Oct. 3rd, 2024
I wish I can upload more for an update, but I havenāt been taking a lot of photos bc I keep running out of space whoopsies. Still need to delete a lot of other photos but thatās okay. I finally cut off one of my most toxic friendships after so many years. But as toxic as it was, I miss them. I miss the friendship we had and our daily talks, and I didnāt want to cut it off, but I had to. I couldnāt keep doing that to myself for my mental sake. I finally got a job after a long hiatus. What a ābreakā that was lol, but I forgot how exhausting it is to do school and work at the same time. I am so drained a lot of days. But this small gig I got going on, actually brightens my day. I actually look forward to going to work for the first time in a while. If I could, I would actually switch career paths, but I donāt want to simply for the sake of pay sigh. But if pay was good, oh Iām switching over in a heartbeat. I didnāt think I would like it this much but I do. I actually really like working with kids. And it warms my heart that Iām making a difference in these kids lives when most of them come from very low-income homes and the education system isnāt as good. I canāt help but want to do more for these kids. Anyways, did a 3 day bender for the bestieās birthday, that was fun. School is not so good. Itās actually really hard to keep up with 4 classes and work. Realistically, 4 classes isnāt actually that bad with work, but I havenāt done both in so long, my school is taking a big toll. Iāve also been driving so much itās insane. My baby hasnāt had his car in about 3 weeks and Iāve been picking him up, taking him to school, driving to work, then picking him up again, and driving back home. And Iāve been just so tired. I canāt complain bc he was the main driver for a hot minute, but, boy is that tiring. Iāve been getting a lot of anxiety from driving as of lately due to stupids ass cars and trucks on the road. A truck has gotten super close to me multiple times and almost hit me rip. On the bright side, my hunny and I are about to hit our one year soon woohoo hehe. To be frank, and not like anyone is gonna read this(hopefully), but I havenāt been feeling much love from him as of lately. But I know he feels the same way too⦠itās mainly due to the lack of intimacy but thatās bc we both just donāt have the time for it. Neither of our faults. Heās a full time student as a chemical engineer major and I almost full time with part time work. Itās a lot. But itās okay bc itās for the sake of our future so itās a big investment. But this is it for me. Weāre endgame. Heās just as serious about me as I am about him. Weāre working towards marriage and kids and I love that weāre on the same page. I actually donāt know what I would do if I wasnāt with him. I think Iāve said that in like all my relationships lol, but this one is different. This one actually gave me a purpose in life and makes me want to be better and work harder. I genuinely see a future with this one and I truly see marriage and kids, itās not just a fantasy in my head or wishful thinking that it will lead to that, no, I really see it. Moving on from this, I got ISOKNOCK, friendās birthday coming up, sisterās birthday, Anniversary, chopping my hair, ya das all I got. We got this til the end of the year. Crazy how itās in a little less than 3 months
I thought I'd be happier with my boyfriend, I thought I wouldn't be nearly as depressed. I guess I was wrong.
I am so severely depressed, that I don't wanna live anymore.
How depressed I am is kind of insane. I am at a point where I actually want to end it all. I have no reason to keep living, to be honest. My mental health is declining at an intense speed. Nothing is really worth living for. The only reason why I'm still alive is because I can't put my friends and family through that kind of pain. I'm trying so hard to move forward and to be happy, but nothing suffices.
24
Iām finally 24. I thought this year would be better considering how much of a shit show last year was. But itās not. Almost everyone got my birthday wrong, no one except for one person in the gc greeted me, and my bestie didnāt plan my celebration and didnāt show up. Both besties for that matter. Not tryna be a Debbie downer, but also, wtf? But at the same time, fair. I donāt talk in the gc lol. All those birthdays that I never said anything. Is karma. Other than that, I guess my birthday wasnāt a complete disaster. I still got to celebrate with those who do care enough. And I have an amazing sister who planned the whole thing. And an amazing bf who went above and beyond as always. Well, it just started so letās how the rest of this goes.
Time to finally update I guess? Iām a little late, but Iām about to hit 5 months with my babyš„¹ Post breakup was a lot harder but also a lot easier than I thought. But I guess it only got easier because after 6 years, we finally crossed paths once again. I never thought Iād see the day. You were the one Iāve always wanted. You became my Roman Empire. I remember thinking about you while you were still active. I remember wondering how you were doing. I remember always asking about you whenever I got the chance. I remember the day I was told you were engaged and even though I was in a fully committed relationship, I couldnāt help but feel a little jealous even after so many years had passed. Right person right time finally??? You were my biggest, āWhat couldāve been?ā For the longest time, and I never thought I would have my questions answered. And now I guess weāre engaged???? Anyways I canāt wait to get married and have babies with you hehe
Holy shit that's so cool
Finally ādo you love the colour of the skyā got compressed for our convenience
This is now my favorite photo
You say you feel for me more, but I think youāll always feel for her more than you ever do for me
I felt like shit until I saw the cat sculpture of wood
Curer of depression, bode sculpture cat
Perry Lancaster
Ty so so much for reblogging with the artist name bc now he has more dollars and I have a little cat statue on its way :3