[cassiussuggestions]

It is bad luck to be Pompey's quaestor and it is bad luck to have me for quaestor. If I were Pompey's quaestor, we would have both died badly. Or perhaps the curses would have collided and dissipated.

[cassiussuggestions]

Surena asked if I had with me any erotic poetry. Sight-translating De rerum natura to him.

[cassiussuggestions]

Did you know I am a pleasure to have on the Parthian campaign? M. Licinius Crassus mentions this to me as often as never.

[cassiussuggestions]

Sextus take the tiller.

[cassiussuggestions]

Cicero is always saying stuff like "oh I want to orate in Gabinius" or something.

[cassiussuggestions]

Gaius Pansa fears me for my powerful sex appeal.

[storm-of-feathers]

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

[pompeiusmagnus]

i woild never sleep in one big bed with my fellow triumvirs

[cassiussuggestions]

#I can't tell if this is about gay sex or stabbing caesar

People often say this to me.

[cassiussuggestions]

There is always some manuscript corruption.

[cassiussuggestions]

Most fashionable thing you've ever done in your career as Gaius Cassius Longinus?

Metamorphosing into a crab.

[garland-on-thy-brow]

P. Crassus: Have you ever come face to face with Parthian cataphracts?

C. Cassius (remembers grinding with Surena at the court of Artavasdes): Yes you could say that.

[cassiussuggestions]

I should leave that old man.

[cassiussuggestions]

After leaving a problematic age gap power imbalance relationship, I am about to be prosecuted for desertion.

[thempyrealexicon]

"wasn't caesar progressive?" I am only going to tell you this once: julius caesar is not real

[cassiussuggestions]

You may not like it but this is what peak performance looks like:

[cassiussuggestions]

As my great-uncle used to say, you cannot spell Strabo without stab.

[cassiussuggestions]

Just learned about the philosophical school of fujoshism, which is for some reason hugely popular with women in my life.