[cassiussuggestions]

#I can't tell if this is about gay sex or stabbing caesar

People often say this to me.

[cassiussuggestions]

There is always some manuscript corruption.

[cassiussuggestions]

Most fashionable thing you've ever done in your career as Gaius Cassius Longinus?

Metamorphosing into a crab.

[garland-on-thy-brow]

P. Crassus: Have you ever come face to face with Parthian cataphracts?

C. Cassius (remembers grinding with Surena at the court of Artavasdes): Yes you could say that.

[cassiussuggestions]

I should leave that old man.

[cassiussuggestions]

After leaving a problematic age gap power imbalance relationship, I am about to be prosecuted for desertion.

[thempyrealexicon]

"wasn't caesar progressive?" I am only going to tell you this once: julius caesar is not real

[cassiussuggestions]

You may not like it but this is what peak performance looks like:

[cassiussuggestions]

As my great-uncle used to say, you cannot spell Strabo without stab.

[cassiussuggestions]

Just learned about the philosophical school of fujoshism, which is for some reason hugely popular with women in my life.

[necromycologist]

bro last night was a hapax legomenon

[necromycologist]

the contents of last night were unattested in any other sources

[marcvslicinivscrassvs]

hi mr. crassus do you care to explain why plutarch wrote your biography based on euripides's most beautifully transgender play

who isplutarch . what is transgender.

[cassiussuggestions]

"what is transgender" this I think:

[cassiussuggestions]

Aunt Mucia has armed herself with a manslaying axe. Wonder what this could mean for Pompey.

[cassiussuggestions]

What "third" Casca are you talking about. Their third is me.

[mamercus]

aediles aren’t real we don’t need them

[mariussuggestions]

This is very true!

[cassiussuggestions]

My Casca could make you change your mind. Elect him.

[cassiussuggestions]

Double date is when I bring my Brutus and Trebonius brings his Brutus. And we conspire.

[cassiussuggestions]

Reaching under Brutus' toga to make sure his dagger is ready for. uh. actions you need not worry about.

[cassiussuggestions]

Aulus Gabinius slammed the door in my face because I did not let him harass Cicero three years prior. Rude.

[cassiussuggestions]

Aulus Gabinius you have a Cicero problem.

And nice thighs.

[publiusliciniuscrassus]

What was that?

[cassiussuggestions]

Don't worry, I got in eventually.